Are you the worst guitar player in the world?
I mean… do you really, really suck at guitar? Because that’s the name of this book! Clearly it’s fate. You Suck at Guitar is designed to be a brutally honest, completely ridiculous, and hopefully helpful way to kickstart (see what I did there?) your terrible guitar skills into slightly-less-terrible guitar skills. You can do it! Probably?
If the mysteries of music have largely remained a mystery for you - then you need this book. If even picking up a guitar makes you look completely and utterly awkward - then you need this book. If you enjoy strangers (me) making fun of you from across the world - then you need this book.
The key is honesty. Music books lie to you. They tell you that you are doing great, when, in fact, you are not. We here at Sadsap Music (that’s the name of the company I started to make these books) are more honest. Your friends know you are bad at guitar. Your lovers know you are bad at guitar. Even I know you are bad at guitar. So let’s fix it. Together. But not TOO together, because there’s no way I can stomach listening to you practice.
I’m Dr. Joel Pierson, and I’ve made a career out of music and mockery. I’ve worked with some artists of great repute (New York Philharmonic, Kronos Quartet), and am well steeped in pop culture from working with artists like Wayne Newton and Ke$ha and touring with My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park.
I’ve performed on all seven continents (yes, including Antarctica), written music for films (including additional music for The Internship with Owen Wilson), and had a recording contract with Warner Brothers Records. I have a Ph.D in music composition, and my music has been performed by over 20 major symphony orchestras. I once sat in with the Saturday Night Live band (I didn’t actually PLAY with the SNL band, I literally just sat with them while they played, in case there was a piano-related emergency.) Once I performed Let It Be for an audience of one: Paul McCartney.
But enough about me. This book is about YOU and how bad YOU are at all things musical. Joining us on our craptacular journey is illustrator Jamie Chen, who I’m relatively certain is a real human being, like us. I have no reason to question that she was born on Earth, just like you and I. And it would certainly be inappropriate to assume that as a baby she was dropped off in the Bay Area by aliens in a wicker basket. So everything is completely normal with Jamie.
Believe it or not, most music publishers think that mocking their customers is a BAD idea. Huh! So I’ve turned to Kickstarter for funding. 2 years ago my first book, You Suck at Piano, raised over $80,000. I followed that campaign up with 2 additional books: You Suck at Piano 2: You Still Suck, and 20 Piano Pieces for People with Emotional Problems. And now we tackle guitar!
Risks and challenges
Obviously I can’t do this alone and need your help! I need you and your terrible guitar playing. Just as we did with "You Suck at Piano", "You Suck at Piano 2: You Still Suck", and "20 Piano Pieces with Emotional Problems", we need to get this initial funding with help from our illustrator, book designer, marketing, etc.
My goal is to get You Suck at Guitar finished, printed, and shipped by summer. Because what else are you really accomplishing this summer? So please donate to the cause, and thank you for your support!Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (30 days)