What in the name of Dick Butkus is a TrophyRing?
The new, official championship ring of fantasy football. A TrophyRing is a unique, handcrafted work of art designed in the USA and reserved for true champions. TrophyRings are made from silver, gold, and diamonds and come with an appraisal from recognized jewelers in New York. Cheap plastic trophies and meaningless cash prizes undervalue the effort, time and success of a committed fantasy football champion.
Why would I want a TrophyRing?
Is that a real question? Why wouldn't you? Just look at the raw beauty of these things. Then imagine rocking this handcrafted piece in front of your fantasy football brethren, reminding them of the pillaging of seasons past. This is the ring that man was meant to wear, and the ring that changes fantasy football forever.
Don't be a trophy guy!
There are men out there that we refer to as "trophy guys". You know who we're talking about. Individuals who not only accept failure but want to be rewarded for it. 3rd place in putt-putt? Here's a trophy. Runner-up to employee of the month? Trophy. 5th place at tetherball? Here's a trophy. Don't be a trophy guy.
TrophyRing 2014 Lineup
CROWN RING - KICKSTARTER EDITION ($150):
Handcrafted from polished brass and adorned with an 18kt gold-plated football, its loud, edgy, and badass. You will no longer have your manhood questioned like you did when showing off your league trophy. This TrophyRing is a limited edition product sold exclusively on Kickstarter.
CROWN RING - SILVER EDITION ($500):
This bad boy is forged from sterling silver and topped with a football plated in 18kt gold. You will want to show this off as much as others will want to look at it. You will find yourself rubbing it often with a fine cloth to keep it glistening.
CROWN RING - GRAND EDITION ($1,000):
This beautiful baby is made from sterling silver, plated in 18kt gold, and blinged-out with 1.1 carats of real champagne diamonds on the football. Owning one not only proves that you’re a Champion in the “big-boy leagues” but also that you have a larger-than-average-sized penis...at least that will be the assumption everyone makes.
CROWN RING - BLACK DIAMOND EDITION ($5,000):
The only part of this Ferrari not covered in black diamonds is the part that is covered in champagne diamonds. Set beneath this miniature 9.2 carat diamond-mine lies a base of sterling silver and 18kt white gold. If you like the idea of all your league-mates hating you out of jealousy, as well as receiving unprovoked HJ’s from hot strangers, then this is the ring for you. Includes free engraving because it would be f'ed up of us to charge for it at this price-level.
CROWN RING - ICED EDITION ($10,000):
This is the Holy Grail of fantasy football. Nicer and more original than any NFL Championship ring and arguably more valuable, this is one bad muthafucka. Watch as your league-mates literally piss themselves when you unveil this as the league prize. Iced out to the nines with 8 carats of white and 1.1 carats of champagne diamonds on a silver and 18kt white-gold base, both women and men will want to have sex with you. Your league will never be the same. Includes free engraving because it would be f'ed up of us to charge for it at this price-level.
Coming to a Sport Near You:
Trophy rings aren't just for fantasy football, they are for Champions everywhere. Are you a world-class curler? Contact us, and we'll make you a TrophyRing with one of those curling things on it.
Rewards (of the non-ring variety):
Who Wears TrophyRings?
True fantasy football champions. We're not talking about dudes who play in a 10-player intra-company league and prey on eight oblivious women from HR. We're talking about the committed. The ruthless. The sh*t-talkers. The statistics-mongers. The big-swinging-dicks. The champions who disregard morning productivity and Sunday hangovers for roster supremacy. These are the keepers and bearers of the TrophyRing. Fantasy football just grew a pair. Amen.
TrophyRings vs. Trophies
Priceless Works of Art in the Pipeline
We are not a one-trick pony. Or even a two-trick pony. Master Designer Armen has several mind-blowing designs in the pipeline. And he makes his models out of aluminum foil. You have trouble wrapping your leftover pizza in foil, he makes things people can't even draw on paper. Oh, and in his spare time he's a Surgical Oncologist at one of the top University Hospitals in the country. Whet your beak on some of his recent creations:
Please help us make our Kickstarter Project a success so we can bring all these designs to life.
The Evolution of TrophyRings
The ring that started it all...made of aluminum foil...
and a lot of tests, trials, and failures along the way.
We tried jewelers in India, pewter artisans in California, brass in China, 3D printing at home on The Cube, and outsourced 3D printing with Shapeways.
After the many (failed) attempts at creating a prototype we could be proud of, we were introduced to some high end jewelers in NYC. These guys specialized in custom, one of a kind pieces. They were blown away by our designs and welcomed the challenge of trying to recreate Armen's tin foil rings out of a sturdier metal like silver. After a month of breathless anticipation, they presented us with the first prototype of the Crown Ring, and we knew it was time for Kickstarter.
Failed TrophyRings T-Shirt Ideas:
- When a Super Bowl ring bangs a trophy.
- Now, winners have two things weighing them down.
- Wrapped around your finger, like your league.
- The ring that man was meant to wear.
- The ring that men won’t take off at a bar.
- Makes your wedding ring feel stupid.
- The only socially acceptable ring for men.
- Fantasy football just grew a pair.
- Gives Eric Karabell a chubby.
- Bros don’t let bros win trophies.
If you win it
then you better put a ring on it.
- Nothing like a
trophy. More like a second penis.
- Talk shit
without saying a word.
- Don’t be a
- Are you a
- The real world
prize for fantasy world victory.
- Call me a
trophy and I’ll break your face.
- The trophy is
dead. Long live the Trophy Ring.