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As we pile on to Barkley, A Humble Vidcon with Heart Reveals Itself

Posted by Tales of Game's (Creator)

Greets to Thee,

So we have a slightly different update today, one that I hope will hopefully bring us good tidings and less chidings. But here goes:

In the long-ass course of Barkley 2 Development, two particular ToGsters have been working in in parallel on a lot of the content creation of the game. This means, minigames, menus, our cutscene and "event" system … (you know, pretty much all the stuff we've been avoiding showing anyone…)

Everyone's favorite Finnish bog hermit, laz, and "The Vidcon Don" himself, GZ, have been working incredibly hard on the game, and through their collaboration something a bit more … S.I.N.I.S.T.E.R. has been brought to life:


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Check out the game HERE.

In their free time, GZ, helped laz put the ol' "HD REMIX" treatment onto an old game of his from 2005. ToG stepped in to help publish the game and we also used it as a test run for Steam app sales.

The game is a little puzzler vidcon that sneaks up on you. What at first may seem rather elementary turns out to be more like middle school or at least summer school level … They also went through and added a few secrets … one of them might even be … ahem, something pertinent to Barkley itself.

Here is what is included in this release

  • 40 Puzzle levels of Intenze Action
  • An "indie-first": full TELEDILDONICS support
  • Aforementioned Secrets
  • Characters, colorful and otherwise like:
  • Pozzo the Eponymous Jello Janitor
  • Herbert a Supervisor with "Everything to Lose"
  • Reginald the Dream Angel
  • The Forest Imp … who follows his own dark agenda.
  • PC Only … for now, and probably for a while

ToG is especially proud to include the TELEDILDONICS support. It is no secret that as We The People move away from the physical bounds of intimacy in favor of the virtual realms of satisfaction and pleasure, our most bosom desires will be fulfilled by someone or something where separation by thousands of miles is considered nothing more than a "mouse-click away."

We are very aware of the lengthy development of Barkley and another offering of a vidcon while we "take our sweet time" might come off a little uncouth. We just want you to know that the profits from this game go straight to the people who made it: laz and GZ. They and the rest of us at ToG are essentially working for free on Barkley at this point to get it done, so if you are interested in checking out Pozzo, just know that it's going to two upstanding fellas who are sacrificing a lot of their time to help keep Barkley 2 as their main focus.

News on Barkley

Work continues. We added a rather unique aspect to the game, that we're not sure exists anywhere else: procedurally generated menu borders. That's right, as you navigate the extensive menus in the game, the information described therein tend to be rather dynamic. For example, if meet certain requirements, you might be able to rent certain equipment as well as just purchase it. Since the inherent nature of the game is to represent itself based on player knowledge and not just what has been designed, we want the menus to adjust and take the form of whatever you the player have the options to do.

So menus adjust to what you have the ability, and by that, they need dynamic borders. A single line that just stretched out is too boring. Frankie made a bunch of pieces here:

We'll keep at this damn thing and we hope to have a good visible VERTICAL SLICE in the next few months.  Thank you again for waiting.

As Kurzweil once said "the only thing that's gonna get me in bed with that Sexy Blue Hedgehog is Patience."

Dartus, Nick Edminster, and 17 more people like this update.


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    1. Missing avatar

      Shatterbrain on

      Dynamic borders, good to see labor is going where it really counts.

    2. Ryan Faillace on

      I'm getting a flu shot today and I'm being a brave boy about it thanks to the warrior's courage that TOG inspires in my heart.

    3. Missing avatar

      Karl Schneider on

      Seriously, I want this game. I'm sure I'll love it in whatever alternative universe it comes out in.
      But...might... vertical slice... in a few months... what a way to inspire us that this project is still actually happening?! Like, if you can keep it going on as a passion project for ten years, great, but I actually want to play it at some point in my life...

      Dynamic borders are neat. It's funny. Almost a sarcastic jab at the current state of the video game industry (MUST BE OPEN WORLD OMG) -- this really the best use of resources? Like, content generation takes a long time... vertical slice implies it hasn't even truly begun yet?

      Not that I don't appreciate the update, but it's a little disheartening.

    4. Nealon on

      Thanks for the update! Please keep up the good work!

    5. ragnarok now on

      Still better than Confederate Express, but not counting on it.

    6. Missing avatar

      Leon Mitchell on

      procedurally generated menu borders ...

    7. Animazombs Ltd on

      Prediction: vapourware.

    8. Missing avatar

      SavageHenry on

      this is not appealing to true DOOM-MURDER HEADS such as myself

    9. Tom Norris on

      Thanks for a 5 paragraph advertisement about TELEDILDONICS. Gross.

    10. Heinzy on

      March on, my vidcon comrades. March on.

    11. Missing avatar

      Nick on

      Barkley 2's team is a skeleton crew of a skeleton crew.

    12. Missing avatar

      crazyd on

      Going on four years of development, a scant 31 updates (this is seriously the first update since May?!), and... there MIGHT be a vertical slice ready in a few months. Holy crap this game is never going to release.

    13. Missing avatar


      Thanks for the update, guys! I love the look of those borders!

    14. tombones

      those menus look fully sick. thanks for still working on this thing. semper games....