A whole autographed CD, 2 signed Jonny Ballz drumsticks, 1/2 pint of our favorite whiskey, 1 Smide Malone condom (unused), free admission to one of our shows, (no plus one... OK, fine, bring a guest, just realize you're buying us some drinks!). A personal thank you on our website.
We'll come play 4 songs and happy birthday at your birthday party in New York City. If you're out of the city, we'll send you a personal birthday song video! Or if it's not your birthday then why not just throw a party!? Do you have something better to do? Oh, and a whole autographed CD too! If you really want the Smidge Malone condom (unused) just ask. He won't mind. A personal thank you on our website.
We'll play a 45 minute set at your party (birthday optional) in NYC metro area, and who knows what else. Also, if you're out of the city we need the best drugs your town offers. (signed CD and Jonny Ballz drumsticks included) A personal thank you on our website.
We're yours for the night im NYC. Throw a huge party and we'll entertain for the night. If you don't throw a party we'll just follow you around for the whole night. Your own personal pub crawl with the Stumblebums. Autographed CD, Jonny Ballz drumsticks, 1 Smidge Malone condom (unused), personal thank you on our website are all included.
We come to you anywhere in the Continental US... alright, we'll include Alaska, Toronto and Montreal too. You have to put us up and buy us beer. If you're spending that kind of Do-Re-Mi you're probably having a party. Oh, and we need girls too. CD, drumsticks and condom included. Personal thank you on our website and our next CD.
We'll go to Europe but you have to pay for hotel and air travel. If you're living in Europe chances are you have money and $5,000 US dollars equals about 5 Euros anyhow. We especially like the vodka belt, the beer belt and the wine belt. That should cover most of Europe. CD, drumsticks, condom, and a Disco Ronnie tuba mouthpiece included. Personal thank you on our website and our next CD.