Somebody Hold Me offers new possibilities, relief, hope, and options to touch-deprived singles.
Somebody Hold Me: The Single Person’s Guide to Nurturing Human Touch is a groundbreaking book that takes a simple, radical approach to health and relationships. It will teach you how to fulfill a basic human need - platonic touch - when you’re not romantically involved. There are thousands of books about sex, love and romance - how to find it, how to do it, and how to sustain it - but no resources that teach you how to give and receive support and comfort via tender, platonic touch.
Nearly 1 in 2 Americans checked the single box in the last census. Because we don’t separate touch from sex, single people are left with few opportunities to share physical tenderness and intimacy. It’s a model that leaves millions of people out in the cold. This can be especially challenging if someone is going through an illness or trauma, or grieving the loss of a partner or relative. A thousand virtual Facebook hugs are no substitute for a single real hug. Few things convey empathy, comfort, and support as well as having another person gather you in their arms and tell you that everything will be okay. Many of us have no way of getting this type of support.
The World Health Organization says that loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking two packs of cigarettes a day, or being a heavy drinker. Great Britain just appointed a Minister of Loneliness. The negative health effects of loneliness correspond quite neatly with the health benefits of human touch. There are oodles of scientific evidence for its positive effects, and yet, we live in an increasingly isolating, touch-deprived culture.
Touch deprivation is an au courant topic in the media, and cuddle parties and professional cuddle services have sprung up to provide platonic touch for those in need. Unfortunately, many people are uneasy with the idea of sharing touch with strangers and/or can’t afford it. They are even more uneasy with touching people they already know. Somebody Hold Me is a much-needed resource that will allow them to explore touch in their existing relationships in a sane, safe, fun and consensual way.
The book is divided into three sections:
- Part 1 looks at the importance of touch from many different angles, and the barriers that keep us separated.
- Part 2 is a step-by-step guide for adding touch to your existing relationships.
- Part 3 is a profusion of ideas and resources for integrating touch into a variety of situations and relationships.
One of the biggest messages of the book is that we need other people to survive and thrive, and that we need to support each other. I could hustle up the money or take out a loan to get this baby out into the world, but it feels right to get support from communities and groups who are actively seeking new ways to live connected, caring lives. The money raised in the Kickstarter will go to fund the design, publication and marketing of Somebody Hold Me.
I am continually amazed at the power of consensual, nurturing touch to make people feel relaxed, happy, grounded, and peaceful. Touch is small and simple, but the physical distance between people is large and complicated. It’s a crucial aspect of communication and relationships, yet we are taught nothing about it. This book will provide an education, and offer people the relief of being seen and held. The need to belong is powerful, and nurturing human touch offers a meaningful way to include people in our circles.
There are millions of single people who feel isolated and alone. Many of them are beginning to realize that our current relationship paradigms of love, sex and relationships aren’t working. The physical, mental and emotional health of singles will be improved by creating new options for connection and support.
People who are in relationships can benefit from Somebody Hold Me as well. While we are sold a “happily ever after” bill of goods, it’s no secret that having a romantic partner is no guarantee that your touch needs will be met. Somebody Hold Me offers partnered folks plenty o' ideas for keeping their relationships harmonious and functional.
Each of us has to navigate touch in our daily lives, especially in the current social climate where touch is suspect. Becoming more cognizant of the role of touch, and how we interact with others, is an invaluable exploration. Learning how to get touch in a way that feels good to everybody involved is a radical idea, and makes the world a better place.
Epiphany Jordan (that's me on the right with one of my BFFs @ Eeyore's Birthday Party): I finally put my journalism degree to work when I wrote Somebody Hold Me. For the past five years I’ve been getting up close and personal with my subject matter through my business, Karuna Sessions. I’ve been observing, researching, thinking, and conversing about human touch and its role in our lives. Some of the other hats I’ve worn to prepare me for this project are Social Artist, Outsider, Den Mother, Shepherd, and Messenger. I have been single for 25 of the last 40 years, and know how hard it can be to go through rough times without a partner.
While I’ve always been good at stringing words together to make logical arguments in a clever fashion, I don’t know jack about publishing a book. To that end, I have procured the services of several fine people who can compensate for my deficiencies:
Melissa Kirk: Melissa came on board as my editor last year and has already been through two rounds of editing on the book. In addition to spending years editing self-help books for New Harbinger, she is also intimately familiar with my audience. Her logical and intuitive feedback helped me make this book a much better project than it would have been without her guidance.
Lisa Pimental: Lisa aka Li’l P has agreed to serve as copy editor and proofreader. She will be eyeballing the manuscript for consistency, typos, and punctuation, as she has done for many creative and corporate clients over the past 10 years.
Mark Weiman: Mark and his company, Regent Press, came enthusiastically recommended to me for interior layout and cover design. Polly Whittaker used him for her memoir, Sex Culture Revolutionary, and pronounced him amazing. His deep knowledge of the publishing and printing business will take my ragtag Google Doc files, make them pretty, and shepherd them to the printer.
Eliza Bundledee: Eliza is gracing my cover with one of her vibrant, joyous paintings. She and I have known each other for nearly 30 years, and I have been assisting her with her tarot deck, the forthcoming Bitch Medicine. I trusted her to pull my vision for the cover art out of my brain and put it on paper, and she far exceeded my expectations. It is beautiful!!!
I spent the better part of last year writing four drafts of the book with input from beta readers and a professional editor. It’s 90-95% done. That makes it risk-free...ish. You will be reading this book by the end of the year when the Kickstarter funds.
While it’s relatively easy to get a book into print in this day and age, it’s hard to capture the attention of a news cycle that’s always on to the next big thing, and humans who are constantly inundated with ideas and images clamoring for their attention. The challenge will be to get this work into the minds and hands of people who desperately need it - hence the marketing portion of the budget.
Money raised beyond $10,000 will go to create a video series that people can download to learn the protocol in the book. A girl can dream, can’t she?
Because the book is already 90% written, the turnaround will be fast. I’m allowing 6-8 weeks for layout and design, and another 6-8 weeks for printing. The book should be in your clutches by the fall, just in time for cool snuggling weather.
Risks and challenges
Please see above.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (29 days)