Playing bocce and drinking beer in late August 2791, Kimo Levernson invites buddy Richard Bruce “Dick” Cheney to join him for a weekend trip to Nantes 1847. Along the way, their time machine runs out of yogurt, causing them to stall out on Interyear-5. Kimo and Dick stumble around, find a bar, and drink themselves sick. Soon Dick wakes from his stupor to find that Kimo and the time machine are missing and he is in the Nixon administration 1969.
Recalling his father’s lectures on the terrible no good Gore presidency—the source of all suffering in the world after national treasure Paris Hilton was vaporized in a freak time travel accident—Cheney realizes he has an opportunity to change history. If he can ensure Gore loses the 2000 race, he can guarantee that 800 years later, he will never have to endure dad’s boring lectures. Even better, maybe he could finally make his old man proud.
Excited that he has finally found his life's calling, Cheney dedicates the next thirty-one years to the task. Will the assistance of alien pinochle player Donald Rumsfeld be enough? Or will he have to enlist both foul-mouthed mob boss Ralph Nader and the secretly Republican robot Joseph Lieberman? And what does the Iran-Contra scandal have to do with any of this?
In a nutshell... Dick Cheney Saves Paris is a meta-novel type thing that will be released by Love Earth Publications on August 30, the day bookstores the world over welcome Dick Cheney's 544-page In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir.
Some background... I am concerned about the world we live in--the environment, the state of politics, social justice--and many of these concerns find their way into my writing. Midway through Bush II, I was trying to understand why Dick Cheney had done many of the things he's done (such as voting against a resolution calling for the release of Nelson Mandela). To me, many of his actions only made sense if he was perhaps from another world and just got stuck here. Soon I had completed the first draft of Dick Cheney Saves Paris, a novel re-imagining the life of our 46th VP.
My hope was to get it out in the world before Cheney left office, but life happened. I still sent it around, and a few publishers liked the idea but felt it wasn't timely. I set the book aside and moved on to other things. Fast-forward to this past January when I learned that Dick Cheney will be releasing his own novel, er...I mean autobiography. If I could revise my book and release it the same day as his, then perhaps the world will better understand that his story is but one version of the events, that even books labeled as "autobiography" are fictions. Naturally Cheney's version of his story will gloss over the more egregious of his many accomplishments. And anyway, that may be the one day that this book can be considered "timely."
How we plan to do it... With your help, of course! Love Earth Publications is a brand new press. As such, the budget for this project is not so great. So I'm hoping to raise some funds to help defray their costs for various aspects, such as donor rewards and swag, the cost of a novel/CD release party, and more. See the FAQ below for where it will go.
But beyond that, your donations will prove that there is a small but devoted market for books like this one. Perhaps it will convince other presses to take more chances. Or, heck, maybe it will just help me avoid getting a real job for another week or two.
In conclusion... If you want to support independent writing and if you believe maybe there really is a market for slapstick sci-fi metafictional political satire about Dick Cheney, then please contribute and/or pass this on to your friends. After all, if the goal is not met, Dick Cheney Saves Paris may never reach a wide audience. And then few people will ever know if Cheney is able to return to the year 2791. Or what the Iran-Contra scandal has to do with it.
- (40 days)