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“Toilet Material” is a paperback book with 40 very hilarious and very short stories – perfect for your very short attention span.
“Toilet Material” is a paperback book with 40 very hilarious and very short stories – perfect for your very short attention span.
250 backers pledged $10,954 to help bring this project to life.

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Toilet Material: The #1 Book for #2 Reading

$10,954

250

Hey there, I'm writer/comedian Robbie Pickard and I wrote a book of funny short stories for you.

I wanted to write the kind of book I’d want to read… short, dense chapters full of big laughs that I could pick up and put down whenever I wanted. After dozens of early attempts, I finally wrote a 3-page story called “My First Gray Hair,” and the formula for Toilet Material: Very Short Stories for Very Short Attention Spans was born. 

I’ve now written 39 more stories and the first full draft is finally complete. Now I need your support to see this book through the editing, design, publishing and shipping processes. 

Toilet Material is a book that reads at the pace we live today. It delivers big laughs at a rapid fire pace, with chapters like:

  • My First Gray Hair
  • How Martian Babies Are Made
  • A Play-by-Play Account of the 26 hours and 9 Minutes I Didn't Have My iPhone
  • My First Day in Prison (If I Took My Friend Kevin's Advice)
  • North Dakotan Phone Sex
  • The Only Apology From the Guy That Used This Gas Station Bathroom Before Me That Would Make Sense 

And 34 other short stories that will make sure you never have a boring, laughless trip to the bathroom again. 

In fact, click the button below for a free sample chapter called "Rocket Science."

 

 

I’m a writer/comedian and was a regular performer at the Laugh Factory, Improv and Comedy Store in Hollywood for years. I toured over 15 states at comedy clubs, casinos, colleges, dive bars and even a couple bowling alleys. I shared the stage in Hollywood with many of my stand-up comedy heroes like Louis CK, Dave Attell, Daniel Tosh, Bill Burr, T.J. Miller and lots more.

My favorite comedy cuts through the B.S. we all put up with every day and points out the absurdities of life that no one seems to be pointing out. My favorite moments on stage as a stand-up have been when I finish a joke and someone in the crowd looks at their friend and says, "That's so true!"

Here I am at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, making fun of Jared from Subway. This was long before the, well, you know...

You can see a couple of other stand-up clips here

Rewards are dependent on donation levels (check out the right hand column on this page), but here is an explanation of each possible gift:

A digital copy of the book.

A download of the book in PDF and e-book formats. (Compatible with Kindle, Nook, and iPad).

A signed/dedicated paperback copy of the book.

**Rough Draft of Cover**

This is what we’re all here for, isn’t it? I will sign it, dedicate it to whatever name you choose, and you can rest it on top of your toilet's tank until nature calls.

Limited edition Toilet Material bookmarks, only for Kickstarter supporters.

I'm still working through the artwork with my designer, but trust me these are going to be awesome. He is ridiculously talented. The coolest part is that these bookmarks will NEVER be available to anyone else – they are Thank You gifts for Kickstarter supporters only.

Custom Toilet Material matchbooks

Never get caught without matches on the toilet again. Two matchbooks per book order, so you can give one to a friend!

A handwritten, annotated version of the book.

Here's an example of an annotation from the chapter, "Rocket Science."

For a limited number of backers, I will create handwritten, annotated copies of the book that explain the origins of the stories and other fun facts and inside info, written by myself in red pen. It'll probably take me forever, but it'll be worth it!

I will name a character in one of the chapters after you.

...but you won't know which story until the book arrives. Can you even handle that kind of suspense?

This book has been a dream (and an obsession) of mine for the past few years. After a lot of research on self-publishing options, I chose to use Kickstarter’s platform for a few reasons:

It empowers you, a group of passionate toilet readers who want to bring this book to life. It empowers myself, allowing me to gather the resources and capital to publish a professional, real life, physical book you can hold with your hands. And most of all, it forms a sense of community. If you donate and become a part of this team, you are as much a part of this project as I am.

I’m not just taking your money, exchanging it into gold coins and putting it in a giant pool to swim in Scrooge McDuck style. However, that is a GREAT idea, and is now a bucket list item for me.

There is a more detailed breakdown of the $10,000 goal in the FAQ section if you're interested, but your donations will go towards all of the costs of publishing: editing, design, printing, shipping, and more. Any “gravy” over the fundraising goal will be spent on actual gravy. For Thanksgiving. 

If you’ve read this far, I feel like you’re pretty interested.

And thank you for that. I wrote this book is for YOU. I spent countless late nights and early mornings on it with the sole purpose of making you laugh.

Kickstarter is an all-or-nothing platform, so I am completely at your mercy. If we don’t at least hit the $10k mark, there is no project, all pledges will be null and void, and I’ll go back to the drawing board.

But I believe that we’ll succeed, because I believe in this book. It is my favorite thing I have ever created, and I can’t wait for you to have it.

Thank you for making it happen, and for spreading the word.

Risks and challenges

Writing this book is no longer the challenge… I’ve finished the manuscript (though I might add a chapter or two as I have a lot of leftover ideas for stories). It’s 95% ready for editing and design at this point.

The challenge is simple—printing a physical book is complicated and expensive. I’ve read about a dozen books on self-publishing at this point, and (exactly) one bajillion articles online. I’ve come up with a plan that will allow me to deliver the highest quality book for you.

The risk is not hitting our goal. Should we miss out, I’ll have to resort to panhandling to get the funding to publish this book. You don’t want me to panhandle, do you?

Learn about accountability on Kickstarter

Questions about this project? Check out the FAQ

Support

  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $10 or more About $10

    E-BOOK

    A digital download of the book in PDF and e-book formats (compatible with Kindle, Nook, and iPad).

    Includes:
    • eBook
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    Estimated delivery
    12 backers
    $
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  2. Select this reward

    Pledge $22 or more About $22

    PAPERBACK

    One signed copy of the book.

    Includes:
    • 1 signed/dedicated paperback copy
    • Free shipping within U.S.
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    106 backers
    $
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  3. Select this reward

    Pledge $30 or more About $30

    COURTESY FLUSH BUNDLE

    Get the signed book, PLUS a Kickstarter-only, limited edition Toilet Material bookmark, AND two Toilet Material matchbooks.

    Includes:
    • 1 signed/dedicated paperback copy
    • 1 limited edition Toilet Material bookmark
    • 2 Toilet Material matchbooks
    • Thank you note
    • Free shipping within U.S.
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    74 backers
    $
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  4. Select this reward

    Pledge $54 or more About $54

    POTTY PALS BUNDLE

    Got a bathroom buddy? Save per bundle by doubling your order! Two books, two bookmarks and four matchbooks.

    Includes:
    • 2 signed/dedicated paperback copies
    • 2 limited edition Toilet Material bookmarks
    • 4 Toilet Material matchbooks
    • Thank you note
    • Free shipping within U.S.
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    34 backers
    $
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  5. Select this reward

    Pledge $125 or more About $125

    PUBLIC RESTROOM BUNDLE

    Did you just form a book club, biker gang or FarmersOnly.com meet-up group? Lower your cost per book by getting a five-pack for the whole crew, or just to have a few extra copies to pass out as gifts.

    Includes:
    • 5 signed/dedicated paperback copies
    • 5 limited edition Toilet Material bookmarks
    • 10 Toilet Material matchbooks
    • Thank you note
    • Free shipping within U.S.
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    9 backers
    $
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  6. Select this reward

    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    PORCELAIN THRONE BUNDLE

    Sit on the toilet like the king you are with A HANDWRITTEN ANNOTATED VERSION OF THE BOOK. I'll explain the origins of the stories and other fun facts and inside info, handwritten in red pen. See where all these story ideas came from! You'll also get your name printed in the book's acknowledgements.

    Includes:
    • 1 handwritten annotated version of the book
    • Your name printed in the book's acknowledgements
    • 4 signed/dedicated paperback copies (U.S. shipping included)
    • 5 limited edition Toilet Material bookmarks
    • 10 Toilet Material matchbooks
    • Thank you note
    • Free shipping within U.S.
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    Limited 7 backers
    $
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  7. Select this reward

    Pledge $500 or more About $500

    ULTIMATE TOILET MATERIAL BUNDLE

    Okay, take it easy moneybags! Get everything from the porcelain throne bundle plus 5 extra copies, and I WILL NAME A CHARACTER AFTER YOU IN ONE OF THE STORIES, but you won't know which story until the book arrives. Can you even handle that kind of suspense?

    Includes:
    • 1 character in the book named after you
    • 1 handwritten annotated version of the book
    • Your name printed in the book's acknowledgements
    • 9 signed/dedicated paperback copies (U.S. shipping included)
    • 10 limited edition Toilet Material bookmarks
    • 20 Toilet Material matchbooks
    • Thank you note
    • Free shipping within U.S.
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    Limited 1 backer
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.

Funding period

- (30 days)