A campaign to end Infant Beardlessness.
$1 and up - Get the app! Every backer at this level and above will receive a download of the app (for iOS), and the unending thanks of beardless babies everywhere.
$10 and up - Your name in pixels! At this level, you’ll get the app AND your name will be included in the credits of the app.
$20 and up - THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE SHIRT! Get the $25 reward for just $20 while they last! PLUS your shirt will have the exclusive "Certified Early Bird" logo on the sleeve. LIMITED: 50 AVAILABLE
$25 and up - Baby-blue BMB Tee! The app PLUS your name in the credits, PLUS your choice of your very own baby’s-bottom-soft baby-blue BeardMyBaby tee OR a baby-blue, limited-edition Ridiculo.us shirt.
$50 and up – The $25 reward level PLUS we’ll include a picture of your baby (or a picture of you as a baby) in the app’s tutorial AND in the BeardMyBaby page in the App Store. LIMITED: 3 AVAILABLE
$100 and up –BMB Google Hangout! The app, your name in the credits, the t-shirt, PLUS you can hop on a Google hangout with Team Ridiculo.us for half an hour! We can talk about beards, babies, kickstarter, fake marathons, shades of grey, or whatever strikes your fancy. LIMITED: 5 AVAILABLE.
The Story behind BeardMyBaby
A few years ago I became a dad. I still remember holding my son for the first time, looking into his tiny little face, and wondering “Why does he not have a beard?”
The thing is, my son looks just like me. It’s uncanny. He has my nose, my eyes, my smile, the whole nine yards. He even has my sense of humor.
He just doesn’t have my beard.
When he was born, I asked the doctor about this, and he said it’s actually a lot more common than you might think. He shared a shocking statistic with me: 1 out of every 1 baby born today will be born without facial hair.
Unfortunately, infant beardlessness is truly a silent epidemic. Due to superstition, stereotypes, and a lack of education on the issue, many parents feel ashamed to let people see their beardless newborns.
Luckily, we live in a day and age where face-to-face, in-person contact between one human and another has been completely eradicated. All of our interpersonal connections are digital now, taking place on tiny screens covered in finger smudges.
Thus, if a person can digitally add a convincing beard to his/her infant, the world need never know that the child is facial-follicularly challenged.
But how does a person do that? Photoshop is prohibitively expensive and has a steep learning curve, and painting a beard directly onto your phone does not alter the actual file. Plus, it may void your warranty. Trust me.
The truth is, until now there has been no easy way for the average parent of a beardless infant to digitally administer treatment at home.
All that is about to change with the introduction of BeardMyBaby 2.0. BeardMyBaby is the first Infant Facial-Follicular iOS app, and the ONLY one formulated for your baby’s soft skin.
BeardMyBaby 1.0 was a huge success around the world, but BeardMyBaby 2.0 is going to be bigger, better, and bearder, with more beards, better social integration, and an all-around better app experience.
But we need your help in order to pay for licenses, development costs, R&D, etc. The money we raise will allow us to redesign BeardMyBaby to be sleeker, more realistic, and to function with all iOS devices, including the iPhone 5.
Together, we can digitally cure infant beardlessness.
Make your pledge today. Do it for the kids.
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Risks and challenges Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
We've been through the app-development process already with BeardMyBaby 1.0, so we're familiar with the process. The only step outside our control is whether or not Apple will accept the app into the store, but since they accepted BeardMyBaby 1.0, it is unlikely there would be any issues with this.
There's also a small chance that the app will be SO AWESOME that it will melt the faces of anyone who uses it, like that fake Holy Grail in Indiana Jones. There's not much we can do about that though, so you might want to have someone else test the app for you the first time.
Yes, but none of them are specially formulated for your baby’s soft skin. Would you use a regular shampoo on your baby? No, you’d use a specially formulated baby shampoo. Would you take your baby to a regular tattoo shop? No, you’d go to someone who specializes in baby tattoos. The same principle applies here.
BeardMyBaby has not been tested in the bearding of non-infants. Ridiculo.us is not responsible for any non-baby beardings gone awry. Proceed at your own risk.
It’s going to cost us $440 to update the app. Also, our developer license with apple has expired, so that’s another $99. Add $54 for Kickstarter and Amazon fees and you get $593.
BeardMyBaby 1.0 was developed by Kyle before Team Ridiculo.us came into existence. When he met Honest Abe in a secret society meeting, they teamed up and started working on fake marathons and books about shades of grey. In all of the excitement, Kyle’s developer license expired and BeardMyBaby was taken out of the app store. People kept asking about it though, so Team Ridiculo.us decided it was time to bring it back – bigger, better, and bearder.
Unfortunately Honest Abe doesn’t know ANYTHING about Android. He’s only ever owned iOS products. However, if there’s enough interest, we may consider doing an Android version down the road. Stay tuned for more on this.