I'm writing a fresh take on the zombie western--a raunchy tale of greed; starring cowboys, hard-asses and a grim, snickering absurdism.
I'm writing a fresh take on the zombie western--a raunchy tale of greed; starring cowboys, hard-asses and a grim, snickering absurdism. Read more
First, my sincerest gratitude goes out to everyone who has pledged. Promoting this project and convincing folks to click my links has been far more difficult than I anticipated, and success seems rather unlikely. Still, I want to reward the smart and sexy folks who have generously backed me, and to that end I will be honoring all pre-orders--regardless of this project's success. That means that if you pledge at least five bucks and I don't reach my goal you'll get your money back and I will track you down and force you to accept a free copy of my book. This is your opportunity to profit off my failure, don't let it slip away.
Thanks again, and I hope you had fun.
The Definitive Zombie Western of Our Generation.
Bold claim? Sure, but it's not an italicized claim, and it's also not as if you can name another zombie western off the top of your head, anyway.
Well Whatever, Just Tell Me About It.
First and foremost, Red Junction is a horror novel, because any time there are flesh-eating shamblers lurking in the woods for greater than two hundred pages--you've penned a horror novel. It's more than just that, though. This is an honest-to-God western saga. It's also crude, and funny as hell.
This is the story of a boomtown born of the Pikes Peak Gold Rush during the 1850's. It is a town where the construction of the brothel was completed before the doctor's office, and the sheriff's star comes with a death sentence.
In this wild corner of the Colorado Rocky Mountains, peace is only afforded at the whim of the violently entrepreneurial Rex Westman--rumored to be the bastard son of a Guinea prostitute and a grizzly bear. Since the town's inception his formidable will has served as sufficient guidance, but when cannibalistic ghouls start wandering in from the outlying mining encampments even the devil Rex Westman may fail to maintain order in his cultivated den of iniquity.
If I had to describe the novel while dropping as many names as possible, I'd say it's Deadwood meets The Walking Dead.
It's The Walking Deadwood. Plus, all the sodomy of Oz.
But better than any description I can provide is for you to give it a read yourself.
Oh? What's this? An Excerpt for My Consideration?:
Color Me Intrigued, but What Else is Red Junction?
Red Junction is my baby.
Thing is, we've been in stop-and-start labor for two years and my birthing canal is weary and a little scared. This kid's head is huge--at least I think it's his head--and I'm man enough to ask for help with the final push.
Two years ago this month I sat down and started working on this novel. It didn't take long to realize I was on to something, as I churned out the first six chapters and in excess of 50,000 words in just the first month.
And then events conspired to sidetrack me. Work became more demanding, I had a head-scratching bout of pneumonia and finally, in December of 2010, I hurt my back and it would not mend. A literal pain in my ass, the most unbearable activity I could engage in was plain old sitting. I won't bore you today with the butthurt details of my chronic pain odyssey, but needless to say it limited the time I spent planted in front of the computer--working on Red Junction.
And? Frankly You're Starting to Bum Me Out.
And now I'm healing some. I have better days, when I can sit at the computer for hours on end. I can work again, and so I have to finish this novel. That's where you come in.
How Can I Help?
I don't want your charity. I mean, I'll accept it but don't expect me to like it. Instead, I want to reward you for showing an interest in my work, and I want to work more, and I want my work to be read. Thus Kickstarter, where I find all these goals can converge.
So What's That Mean?
With your help, I will publish Red Junction first as a reasonably priced e-book and I will realize a dream I first fell into twenty-five years ago, when I was seven years old and adorable. You can help make that little boy's dream come true, and if we can generate enough interest we will even kill trees and tell the story with paper and ink and bindings.
How Will My Pledge Help You, Kile?
I'm glad you asked!
First of all: though intangible, your confidence in Red Junction is of phenomenal value to me, and I thank you from the bottom of my cold, black heart. In addition to providing me this healthy dose of affirmation, your patronage will also help me:
Hire a professional editor to work with me as we systematically dissect my precious little baby.
Pay for all these publishing costs I'd never heard of till I dedicated myself to making this book happen. This is how the Man keeps the People from sharing their Stories. It's stuff like typesetting and file conversion, ISBNs, e-book support, printing costs, fees and taxes and I know there's stuff I haven't even found yet.
Complete a few ongoing research projects to ensure that during rewrite the book is made as historically and olfactorily accurate as the Definitive Zombie Western demands.
Generate meaningful rewards in recognition of your patronage, beyond Red Junction itself. I don't have key chains or t-shirts, but I promise the rewards I offer in exchange for your pledge will be memorable and worthwhile.
Devote the time necessary to accelerate my progress and deliver a finished product by December 1st of this year! That's incredible! This is serious literature for the discerning zombie enthusiast, delivered steaming hot to your internets and mail-boxes!
This Was a Little Too Long, and I Did Not Read It.
That's okay, because I'll give you a summary:
I'm asking for help to complete my weird western--a horror novel full of cowboys and zombies. You can help by pledging here on Kickstarter.
The way this works is all or nothing. I either raise two-thousand dollars in thirty days or no one is charged. I am offering rewards in exchange for your patronage--so it's not just a hand-out, nor a donation. You'll be encouraging my corner of the arts. When it's all said and done we will have a novel to enjoy, and no harm will be done except to some imaginary cowboys.
There exists the possibility that we will exceed the original goal in advance of the thirty day deadline, and if that comes to pass I have various other goals I'd like to reach in order to pay for things like a physical printing, a professionally voice-acted podcast, killer artwork, pizza, advertising and possibly maybe securing a commitment from William H Macy to portray me in the film adaptation.
For now, I am humbled you've taken the time to examine my project and I hope it's something you find worthwhile. Feel free to link this project anywhere you think it would be appreciated, and thank you again for your time and in advance for your patronage.
- (30 days)