WHY WE WANT YOUR MONEY:
For Strippers & Cocaine, obviously.
Wait...my partner, Erik says that's not right.
To Fund a Movie and Documentary and...there's lots of "Ands" actually...Keep Reading...
Note TO Erik: Can we still have strippers at like, the wrap party or something, because otherwise, I don't see the point...
Lame Intros Aside, This is the Point:
Shane Jeffries (That's Me) and My Friend/Sometimes-Colleague (Erik Shuttleworth) are Making a Movie.
We're taking $25,000 of Our Own Money, a tight script filled with creative deaths, boobs, a decent B-Plot & great dialogue and we're filming a Direct-to-DVD, Video on Demand, Movie.
So, Why Do We Want More Money:
Because we're not JUST Filming a Movie, we're going to fill up a 2nd (and possibly 3rd) disc with a Documentary that Covers EVERYTHING it takes to make a lower-budget Film. EVERYTHING. Even the boring shit.
Especially the Boring Shit.
Allow Us to Elaborate:
In addition to Making a Guilty-Pleasure Movie, We also want to EDUCATE.
We want to show aspiring filmmakers, students, movie lovers (and anyone interested) HOW it's all done...or at least, how WE'RE going to do it.
Instead of a 30-Minute, Behind-the-Scenes Featurette, we're going to show you how a movie gets made on a small budget, from Inception to Distribution.
- Set Design
- Obtaining Permits
- Lenses & Lighting
- Scouting Locations
- Duplication Services
- Purchasing Equipment
- Utilizing Local Sources
- Contracts & Negotiations
- THE LIST GOES ON
We're hoping this Completed Project becomes the "go to" for anyone itching to Make a Film.
Note from Erik: If you don't care about any of that stuff, you're still funding a great movie.
If you've ever wanted to know the How or Why regarding a Film, this is the Kickstarter Campaign to Donate to!
Some Other Questions We Hope to Answer:
- Why Do Some Movies Seemed Bathed in (Insert Color)?
- How Much Abuse will Cast & Crew Take Before Staging a Revolution?
- Should You Provide Catering?
- How Many Boobs in One Scene are too Many?
- Who the Fuck Thought that Guy Could Act?
- Why'd My Money go Toward the Purchase of a Blow-up Doll?
ROBERT RODRIGUEZ ALREADY MADE A SHORT DOCUMENTARY ABOUT HOW TO MAKE A MOVIE FOR $7,000 AND LOTS OF HOW-TO'S AREN'T COVERED BECAUSE THEY'RE BORING.
I DON'T WANNA WATCH YOU PICK PAINT COLORS AT THE STORE OR ARGUE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND ABOUT HOW LITTLE TIME YOU'RE SPENDING WITH HER AS A RESULT OF MAKING YOUR STUPID MOVIE!
To That I Say:
Hey, man...why all the hostility? Also, you don't need caps to make your point, ASSHOLE.
Note From Erik: Shane, you're trying to get people to give us their hard-earned money. Imaginary conversations are not the best way to pursue that goal.
ANYWAY, yes: That 10-Minute Documentary did come out back in 1998, but we want to create a visual representation (a manual) for how to make a movie that - again - covers everything in an informative, fun way and then: WE'LL SHOW YOU THAT MOVIE!
This Sounds Pretty Cool or (if you're into Crushing People's Dreams) Lame. What Kind of Experience Do You Have?
All kinds. I can touch my nose with my tongue.
Note from Erik: Seriously? I bet your girlfriend's happy.
Oh, you mean about movie-making, writing, editing, etc?
Man, you ask a bunch of questions. OK, here goes:
Erik Shuttleworth has film in his blood. (Not literally, that sounds fatal and somewhat...mercury-ish? I don't know what film is made of; we're shootin' digital here, folks.)
He grew up on film sets, accompanying & assisting his writer, director, filmmaker Dad on independent features & travel-log documentaries.
His mother was an actress back in the 70's (episodes of Love, American Style) and was the star of an autobiographical Indy film back in the 90's.
She also had a bit-part in Blood Orgy of the She-Devils, which is in no way as awesome as it sounds.
Note From Erik: You said you wouldn't be mentioning that role.
Erik's currently in negotiations to sell a script and just started his own Multimedia Production Company.
Shane Jeffries (That's Me!) is a Writer, Pop Culture Junkie and - above all - Hulkamaniac! Online, his Alter-Ego is RamboHomerMcFly.
He Writes Weekly Reviews of Family Matters & the Golden Girls Here: www.FamilyMattersReviewed.com and Here: www.GoldenGirlsReviewed.com
His 1st Book (Nostalgic For Death) came out in January, 2013 and he's a columnist at the funniest Pro Wrestling Website in Existence, Wrestlecrap: http://www.wrestlecrap.com/author/shane/
His background is in writing, sales, marketing & advertising and he loves referring to Himself in the 3rd person!
He had a screenplay optioned many, many years ago but that obviously didn't pan out, now did it?
You can feed his regular-Ego by visiting his laughably old-looking website: www.ShaneJeffries.com
Oh, I almost forgot: Shane's a cripple since birth. (In case that helps us score some of those sweet, sweet sympathy bucks.) He has arthrogryposis.
Erik says I shouldn't use the term cripple, but he's not crippled, so he doesn't really get a say in the matter as far as I'm concerned.
If however, you are reading this - and YOU are crippled (and not just by some psych 101 fear or addiction) and you dislike the use of that word and are OK with the fact that I'll put your email on one of the Special Features Discs, please contact Me at: RamboHomerMcFly@yahoo.com
In the Subject Line, Please Put: "I Read Your Kickstarter Fund Campaign and I am Easily-Offended and Have No Sense of Humor and My Life is Sufficiently-Empty that I Like to Argue with People I Don't Know and I am a Cripple. Cripple, Cripple, Cripple. Seriously, I'm a Big-Time Cripple. The Cripplediest Cripple Who Ever Crippled (?) and I Make Poopy in My Pants and Sometimes b4t,3463,2#)mmdb Bash My Head Against the Keyboard and Forget What Words Mean, Jello 4 Purple."
I'll respond to your email, I promise.
Note from Erik: Sweet Jesus, Get Back to the fucking point already.
When Will Filming Begin?
October 5th, 2013.
How Long Will Filming Last?
As long as it takes. What is this, an inquisition?
For the Film & Documentary, Approximately 6 Months.
6 Months!?! What the hell?
Shit takes time when you're crippled, man. Get off my scolios'd back.
Why So Long?
I don't know, I was just born that way. It hangs to the left a little, too.
Oh, you mean the film?
Well, just filming the movie is a huge undertaking, but when you add in having a guy film everything else that goes into making a movie, as well as delays, unforeseen circumstances, etc., 6 months is a time-frame we feel comfortable with.
How are you gonna Market the Movie?
This Nigerian prince I'm helping out of a jam says he'll talk to his Pops and force his whole country to buy the flick. It's gonna be sweet, man. I'll probably join some "Cripples Only" Club and promote it through their newsletter, too.
Much of this will be covered in the How-to Doc, but through social media, traditional media, cultivating relationships with fanbases of such films and through the Existing Popularity of Some of Our Cast, like SCREAM QUEEN Linnea Quigley!
That's right, the Star of such Classics as Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Silent Night, Deadly Night & Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl-O-Rama is in our Movie, Blood Drive!
How are You gonna Distribute the Movie?
Smoke signals and visually-appealing chain letters.
Though much of this will be covered in the Documentary portion of the project, we have Contacts at Netflix, iTunes, Redbox, Amazon, Ingram and many other movie-related businesses. getting our movie in the pipeline will not be an issue.
Hey, Speaking of Your Movie, Are You Ever Gonna Tell Us WTF it's About?
Oh, yeah. Almost Forgot about that.
Blood Drive is a "B" Movie, with an "A" script. It's Deliverance meets Wrong Turn by way of Hatchet. In addition to paying homage to flicks like Friday the 13th, it's a fast-paced, gory, boob-filled ride with plenty of twists and turns.
Synopsis: 3 attractive female friends vacation together for one last weekend before their lives force them onto different paths. Unfortunately, one of them may share a past with a local psychopath. Meanwhile - not too far away - a man on a mission meets up with characters straight out of his worst hillbilly nightmares.
NOTE: We know we're not re-inventing the wheel here; we're not trying to. The wheel works just fine as it is. I drove around in a car setting on top of 4 of them just this morning and it sure beat walking. Well, I wasn't driving; I was sitting in the passenger seat balancing myself with my cripple stick, but you get the idea.
The movie will be a fun, enjoyable guilty-pleasure, inspiring fond memories of spankin' it to Skinemax After Dark.
What Kind of Equipment Are You using?
Camera One (Full HDSLR Mobile Solution):
Nikon D600 Digital Camera (24-85mm Lens)
- Capable of Broadcast-Quality Video
- Captured to Twin SD cards
- Full 35mm Sensor - Maximum ISO (in other words, High-Quality Action at night)
Rode VideoMic Pro Compact Shotgun
- Broadcast Quality Audio Microphone for all Outdoor & Fluid Situations
Tascam DR-40 4-Track, handheld Digital Recorder
- Field-Ready, premium Digital Recorder for Clean Audio Feed
- Used with Sescom Audio Adapter
- Rod & Shoulder Supports to "run-and-gun".
Camera Two (Interview/Documentary Cam):
Nikon D5200 Digital SLR (18-55mm Lens)
- High-Quality Video for Candid Situations
Shure MX185 Cardioid Wired Lavalier Microphone
- Used for Interviews, fits to clothing
- Wired rather than wireless for maximum audio quality
Mobile Editing Station:
Asus G75VW-DH72, 17.3"
- Dual Hard Drives: 750 GB 7200RPM, bulk storage of raw video 256 GB SSD.
- 16 GB Ram, Intel Core i7, 2.40GHZ
Sony Vegas Pro 11 Editing Software
Where are you Shooting?
All locations in the screenplay are based on real locales in Lead Hill, Arkansas and Branson, MO (home to the filmmakers).
Though they have already been scouted, trips back to them and a discussion of why they were chosen will be included in the documentary.
Well, we're hardworking, talented and have a know-how we want to share (and it'll be really funny to see the breakdown of all that confidence when we hit our 1st speed bump along the way).
ALSO, as mentioned in the "Rewards" portion of this Project, we'll (eventually) be staging a special screening of the flick a couple of weeks before its release.
That evening will be included in its entirety as a Special Feature and the showing of the film will be followed by a Q&A with the filmmakers and as many stars and crew who want to participate (and are available).
We want to test the viability of perhaps even touring with the movie (because of the Documentary) a la Kevin Smith/Red State.
Hey, speaking of Kevin Smith...
We'd love to be part of the SModcast Family if you happen to come across this little project, Kev. We're admirers of what you do and how you do it.
Note From Erik: Enough Kevin Smith proverbial Dick Sucking, which must be the 1st time that sentence has appeared anywhere, ever.
Is That It?
Well, we're making the movie regardless of the success of the funding, but how educational & boob-filled it can all be is up to you!
You need to be 18 to donate, appear as an extra in the film, sign release forms, etc.
We'll obviously be offering updates on pre & post-production (and during the filming process).
And anyone who's interested in being a part of the film or having their music featured in it can leave comments on here.
AND: There's gonna be tons of boobs in this movie. Not like, NC-17 boobage, but still, a bunch. Like 47 or something. Yeah, 47 boobs.
I also thought of some other reasons you might want to help fund our project:
- You're awesome
- You found an extra $20 in the wash
- You want to donate $500+, so you can be credited in the movie by any name you want, even Detective Diesel Shit McBoob Flop, Protector of Swollen Testicles
- You Like Helping Make Somebody's Dream Come true
- That Hobo Didn't Need Your $20 Bucks Anyway
- To Make the World a Better Place, Man