I am sitting on my piano bench, I take a deep breath. Time to practice. Time to be creative. I need to go over that song again, the one I keep forgetting the lyrics to because I never wrote them down. I need to stretch out my voice, I need to... ”Mama, can I have a snack?” my 5 year old daughter Ella asks me. “Sure babe, just grab a string cheese out of the fridge.”
Hmm, where was I? Yes, time to be creative, to let instinct run free and...
“Mom, why did Ella get a snack and I didn’t?” my son this time. “Did you ask me if you could have one, Noah?”
“No," 'Well all you have to do is ask permission bud, and you can have one.”
All right here we go again, deep breath, focus. My heart whispers a small prayer, asking the Lord to bless this time, to come and fill me. I begin to play, sing, words coming out with some effort but at least they are coming. My voice sounds tired. Not much sleep the night before - oh well, life is full these days.
Everything seems to be going to plan and then THUMP. I hear crying and shouting from the other room.
“MOM, the baby fell over!” I’m already off of my bench, out the room, scooping my smallest into my arms.
This is a snapshot of my world.
Ten years ago if you would have asked me where I would be now, I don’t think I could have even imagined.
Ten years ago I was in a band called LaRue with my brother Phillip.
Ten years ago I had about twenty countries stamped in my passport and a collection of plane ticket stubs and hotel keys.
Ten years ago I was months away from meeting my husband at a music festival in England.
My world after that was very much altered, in the best of ways, in the hardest of ways. Rob and I fell in love, got married shortly there after. We had our first son, our unplanned “Oops Baby” a year and a half later. If you are a mother, then you know what I mean when I say, the moment my baby was put in my arms, my whole identity shifted. I will never be the same.
So here I am now. Attempting, after a long hiatus, to step back into the world that was once familiar territory. Now I’ve got some new shoes, some old scars and a lot of perspective. I have songs that have been birthed out of the most pivotal period of my life. The transition from girl to woman, woman to wife, wife to mother. I have lots to say, and somehow, some way, out of the fog of family life - and with a little nudging from my husband - I feel ready to say it. I am ready to start a dialogue with words and music in hope that I reach the hearts of people very much like myself.
Women. Mothers. Spouses. Cooks. Cleaners. Friends. Sisters. Jesus-lovers... and oh, so much more.
Yes. I am excited about this journey toward music. It's been slow in the making but isn’t that sometimes where the best stuff comes from? The longest and the roughest, the things that surpass the test of time? I would be honored for you to be a part of it. Who knows what to expect? On my part at least, I know I can expect many interruptions.
- Natalie LaRue