Making books is boring
So it's been 43 days since my last update. For some reason, five of you impatient cunts have demanded (via the comments section) an update. Although this only represents 0.13% of the entire backing population, I have caved in under the pressure. So, Julien, James, Richard, Tim and Simon, this is for you.
I have a feeling that half of you think I've fucked off with the money and I'm sipping cocktails on the beach. I wish I had done that, but I haven't, I'm actually making a fucking book.
To be honest there isn't much to say. I've adopted the stance which people DON'T do enough on Twitter, which is that if there is nothing of importance/interest happening, say nothing. I am making a book. On the whole, making a book is not interesting. Today I spent 11 hours 'artworking' images and getting them all perfect and ready for print. Darren spoke to some people in Italy about paper and grain direction, and batch converted some PSDs from RGB to CMYK. It's not interesting and I don't need to tell you. I mean what else d'you want to know? D'you want to know what I had for fucking breakfast? I'm not Harry cunting Styles.
Anyway, it's hard writing this stuff. There's certain expectations for it to be good. I'm not talking about the majority of you 3,751 basic twats, it's the fact that Louis Theroux reads this shit you know? Imagine when you go to your pointless little job and you type your pointless little sentences into your computer all day, imagine doing that but with the added pressure that Louis will be reading all of that and fucking judging you. It's utterly HORRENDOUS.
I guess what you want to hear is that the book is coming together and it's going to print very soon and all the things I promised are going to happen. Nothing has changed, the book is still going to be as fucking great as I originally claimed. The rewards are slowly starting to happen. I've trolled a few people, I've been on a couple of Wetherspoons dates, I got shitfaced on a train (Kings Lynn if you're asking) (Yes it was fucking great, if you're asking) and I've done the first 'Fuck you and fuck your company'. As soon as the book goes to print, reward fulfilment season (is that a thing?) will be in full swing. So thank you for your patience on that bit, I will be telling you all to fuck off in some sort of way soon.
Oh yeah, I'm putting together the final benefactor list over the next couple of days. If you haven't answered your survey yet, please do it now. Otherwise I'll be basing your benefactor name on whatever name is attached to your kick-starter account.
I'll probably do another update in a few weeks with a photo of me in some fucking printers in Italy, looking at a machine or something.
Bye for now,