A Saturday In The Park With Cabbie
Hey! Good ta see ya again. Didn't expect ya ta call on a weekend.
Nah, I unnerstand. I need someplace quiet an' alla places 'round here are bustling on weekends. Hey, bad luck on that library visit, tho. I swear I never hearda' one gettin' attacked by fishmen before. That's definitely new.
Gonna leave a smell, too. Those fishmen, you always know when they've been somewhere.
But yeah, you need someplace quiet to get some readin' or writin' done, not many places in town better'n Rhinehart Park. Parts of it're peaceful while still bein' alive, so you get the quiet ya need without feelin', y'know, obligated 'bout it like in a library. I tell ya, I can never get anythin' done in a library. I'm always worried I'm gonna mutter 'oh yeah' or 'heh, ain't that right' an' get kicked out for it.
Why the name? Rhinehart Park's named after this guy, Sigfreid Rhinehart, immigrated from Germany back in eighteen-hunnerd-sumthin'. Guy was rollin' in money and started makin' a lot of investments in the area. People asked how he got so rich, guy said it was a magic rock he'd found that brought 'im good luck. Even better, whenever anyone stole the thing, it'd always end up back at his house by morning. Man, I had one of those I could retire! Dunno if I'd stop drivin', tho.
Anyway, his old estate's at the center of the park, an' the rock's still there. Maybe it's cause'a the rock, but the park's supposed to be lucky. Or unlucky, dependin' on who you ask. Either way things're a little stranger there. Or well, maybe a different kinda strange, y'know? Like, take Freetown Woods, f'rinstance. Lovely place by the way, you'll prolly wanna go there an' see if it's the spot yer lookin' for. Anyway, years an' years ago when I was still a young punk, I met my wife there. I was walkin' along the paths there, lookin' ta meet a girl. Well, first I ran inta a coupla guys lookin' ta mug someone. Gave as good as I got in that but still wound up with some lumps, y'know? So I start headin' out an' there's this girl there, an' she's just finished a first aid course an' I swear, she's there lookin' fer someone ta practice on. And up I walk with bruises an' scrapes everywhere.
If you're lookin' for somethin' a little more open, there's South Field, which is sort of a basic park. Y'know, big open grassy field. Might not be the best place ta go, they've got some sorta music festival happening there. 'Least, that's what they're callin' it. I'm more of a jazz guy myself. But, you might wanna go by there anyway. They're at the ampitheatre off to the side, can't miss it. Not even if you want to.
Oh! An' one other thing. There's this little snack bar there in South Field, Frankie's, got a logo of a weiner dog in a bun. Best hotdogs in town, try one.
But, uh. If you see any homeless-lookin' people talkin' ‘bout dust an’ dreams an’ sparkly unicorns, you steer clear of 'em, alright? Way. way clear. Those guys're trouble. I guess that's one other other thing.
Anyway. There's also North Field, an' that's always quiet, but it's kinda hoity-toity. It's got statues an' hedges shaped ta look like statues an' hedges shaped ta be mazes. Got no idea why anyone would want to get lost in a hedge, but hey, there ya go. Lotta weddings there, tho, an' it's good for that. Also popular with tourists in the summer.
What? Oh yeah, I tried the travel agent thing once. Kinda went south when I tried driving a guy to Monaco once. Nah, nah, I got 'im there alright. Couldn't figure out how to get back, tho.
Oh! An' one last piece of advice. You see any guys standin' around in robes chantin' weird mumbo jumbo, don't interrupt 'em. Either they're actual wizards from the Regency, an' they'll turn ya inside-out for meddling, or they're these guys called LARPers and then you're jus' bein' rude, y'know?
Anyway, we're here. Have fun in the park! Gimme a call when ya need a ride back.