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A party game in which it is TOTALLY POSSIBLE to drop a boxcar full of rabid piranhas onto the King of France. LIKELY, even
A party game in which it is TOTALLY POSSIBLE to drop a boxcar full of rabid piranhas onto the King of France. LIKELY, even
10,666 backers pledged $556,596 to help bring this project to life.


Posted by David Malki ! (Creator)


I want to make something clear. 

When I say we will print a German version of the game for anyone who wants it, even if it ends up taking hundreds of work hours to translate, proofread, redesign, and retypeset...even if it means doing a special print run of 56,000 game cards that have to be hand-inserted into each order...even if it HYPOTHETICALLY cost a couple thousand more dollars than I expected...I DO IT. 

When I say that we'll make an all-new book to throw in for free into over-$35 orders...even if it ends up being 176 pages to design from scratch, and involves soliciting content from over 100 contributors...even if it means hunting down the only printing company in Los Angeles that can turn around 5,000 copies of this book in a week...I DO IT.

When I say that we're offering a tier where your unique copy of the game gets shown to a friggin goat before you get it...even if it means driving for hours through the thickest L.A. traffic...the day before I leave town for a convention...not only do I DO IT, but I show those five games to a WHOLE HERD OF GOATS. 



I'd like to thank Broc Sandelin for very generously allowing us to visit their farm at Cal Poly Pomona, which works in partnership with an organization called Danny's Farm, a petting farm and event center that provides vocational training and job opportunities for adults with developmental disabilities. Machine of Death is pleased to help spread the word about Danny's Farm and aid their mission however we can.

BUT ABOUT THE GOATS. And the German cards, and the Artbook, and all the rest of it...

It's fun, guys. It's so much fun for me to see this whole operation come together like a puzzle. We've got ten pallets' worth of merchandise sitting in our warehouse right now, just waiting for the games to arrive on the boat so we can begin shipping everything out to you. 

Here's what 1100 deluxe boxes look like, all crated up in Jason Lioi's workshop:

 If you think that's impressive, just remember that that ceiling is 100 feet tall

Shipping Timeline Update

I received word the other day that our ship en route from China, with the games onboard, encountered extreme weather related to the typhoon in the Philippines. According to my new favorite website,

"On Saturday, November 16, the container ship OOCL Canada reported a high temperature alarm in the tail shaft system when sailing in heavy weather and sea conditions. After a risk assessment was conducted, and for the safety of the vessel, crew, cargo, and containers on board, the Master recommended that the vessel needs to be inspected and should not complete her long Trans-Pacific voyage from Kaohsiung to Long Beach."

Okay. That's the bad news. The ship had to make an emergency dock in Shanghai, and transfer all its cargo to a new vessel. That happened about a week after my last update.

GOOD NEWS PART 1: In practical terms, this only sets us back about a week. The new ship – OOCL Tianjin; you can track its progress here if you like – is due into port in Long Beach this weekend, December 8. It should take a couple days to clear customs, and then we may be able to start shipping as early as Wednesday, December 11.

What does this do to our goal of getting everyone their game by the holidays? I don't know. Luckily, the shipping facility we're working with is one of the most efficient and high-volume in the country. There's simply no other place around better equipped to get these products out the door as fast as possible. So all we can do is move as fast as we can.

GOOD NEWS PART 2: This isn't our boat:

 I told you. New favorite website.

Other Updates

• The German games are all printed. The German PDFs are 95% done; they should be ready for download next week.

• Some of you may remember the $400,000 stretch goal: "All backers get a MEGA-CRAZY FUN-TIME KIT that includes Wondermark ebooks, the MOD v.1 ebook, free music from our favorite pals, addt'l bonus ebooks..."

Those "addt'l bonus ebooks" are a Webcomics Pals Ebook Bundle containing over 2,000 pages of comics from artists like Ryan North, Dave Kellett, Chris Hallbeck, Spike, KC Green, Sam Logan, Angela Melick, David Willis, Zach Weinersmith, Jim Zub, K.B. Spangler, R. Stevens, Jon Rosenberg, Christopher Baldwin, and more. I'm paying them a license fee for their ebooks and giving them to you for free. The retail value of this bundle is probably a million zillion dollars. 

Even if you paid one dollar at the "JUST THE TIP" level, you're getting all this content for free. It would take you a hundred years to read all this stuff. The bundle will be ready for download next week. A gift from me to you.

• Some of you may also remember the $525,000 stretch goal: "We do NOT ship all games with a curse upon them!"

I THOUGHT this meant that we would have to remove the curse before we shipped the games to YOU. 

What I didn't realize until now is that I probably should have removed the curse before we shipped them FROM CHINA in the first place. 

Huh. Lesson learned.


At Webcomic Rampage! Come say hello! Have me draw you a custom game card or a sketch!


More info about those here, if you like.

More info on the games' arrival when I have it. Cross all the fingers you have. 


Echo, Scott Kirby, and 45 more people like this update.


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    1. Missing avatar


      Woo Hoo! My game AND book have been officially goat-stared! Now I just need to figure out how to download video from Vimeo to save this for posterity.

    2. Kristen on

      Shawn - You should send a comment directly to David with your new address.

    3. Jennie Cauwels on

      Tracked the boat, looks like it's already gone quite far on its return journey. Do we have any new information about when things are going to ship? Trying my best to be patient, but have been getting really frustrated by multiple games/card sets that were kickstarter rewards not being here in time for holiday get- togethers.

    4. Shawn Aumond on

      I'm curious to know about shipping date. The main reason is that before this fiasco, I decided to switch my shipping address to my work address as I was barely every home. The problem now is that I won't be back after the end of this week for another two months, during which time I WILL be home ... all the time. It's not a huge issue, definitely not as huge as if our shipping boat caught fire, but it's more for convenience's sake.


    5. Missing avatar

      Brittany Brown on

      I'm actually curious if there's another update coming soon. I had initially planned to host a game at my Halloween party with this, but now I have a lot of folks coming over this Saturday for a Christmas party and I'd like to do it there, too. This seems like it would be a great game to test out with a bunch of Homestuck kids. (if not, there's always February or March plans, but what if I DIED between now and then? What IF?)

      Crossing my fingers!

    6. Geeks With Scissors on

      I love you. A lot.
      Everything about this entire campaign has been perfect.

    7. David Philomath

      Brilliant. All of it... Just brilliant.

    8. Missing avatar

      Jeffrey Eide on

      I love you David. <3

    9. Jose De La Mora on

      I too would love a copy of the artbook, but don't think my pledge qualifies. Can I paypal you some coins, and you toss it in my package?

    10. Missing avatar

      DutchUncleHAR on

      Thanks be to all the gods that you weren't in cahoots with SJGames on Ogre.

    11. Gabriel Dunston on

      Heeeeeeey.... I'd sure like to get a copy of that art book. Can I give you money for one? and if so... when and how? Please?
      Sorry to add to your burden.

    12. Ariel Phifer on

      I am so tracking that boat. I'll bet I'll be able to wave at it as it goes by. It sure looks like it's coming toward Alaska...

    13. Ernest Bourne on

      I concur - this is the best update ever on kickstarter! You get 50 gold stars and have reached the "Boss Level"! Congrats!

    14. Missing avatar

      Alison on

      I pass by this farm every morning on the way to class, and I was there all day for classes just recently. I'm bummed I missed this! These goats are the cutest. I hope while you were there you had time to see the horses too.

    15. Gozer Games on

      I am completely in agreement with jefF and Tom!

    16. Nicole Persram

      This -is- the best update I've ever read. You guys are awesome.

    17. Jeff Nurkiewicz

      This is, quite possibly, the greatest KS update ever.

    18. "Filkertom" Tom Smith

      I do believe this is the first KS update that should have a Stan Rogers soundtrack.

    19. Streamjumper on

      Came for the game; stayed for the insanity. Did not expect the epic updates, however. Well done. Way to make even mentiones of stuff being on schedule or a bit late into a chance for hilarity, guys. I didn't expect it, but I might almost be a bit disappointed when my game arrives...

      As for being great, I agree. I remember Andy K posting a link to the container ship that Tenra Bansho Zero was coming over on and the discussions as we e-stalked it across the ocean. I wish more sites would include info about their shipments from it in their updates.

    20. Matthew Dowis on

      Let's be real David, we all know what really happened... The captain stuck his finger in the machine o' death and when the card came out it said 'water'. Having been spooked by the card, he quickly made his way to the bridge to make heading to the nearest port. He is now on a bus on his way to the desert where he hopes to live out the rest of his life.

      Ps I really considered posting this as a short story here but wasn't sure how long of a comment I could leave.

    21. Walter Cooke on

      That delivery truck definitely had a curse on it!

    22. Designer7x on

      Never have I been so jealose over anything goat related. I want a goat to stare at my game...

    23. Bart Leib on

      I've backed plenty of crowdfunding projects, and this is my favorite backer update EVER.

      It makes me wonder: at any given time, how many burning boats are just drifting randomly around the world's oceans? I bet it's more than one. I hope none of them have any goats aboard. Poor goats.

    24. Dougal Campbell on

      Awesome goat video. :-)

      Good thing you didn't promise to wrestle a bear or something!

    25. Missing avatar


      Yet another awesome update! Thanks for keeping us up to date, David, and that German set looks amazing! I kind of wish I had gone for that instead, even if it meant having to look half of them up.

    26. Benjamin Hagen on

      German version looks great. Unfortunately, I have to admit, I were not sure if it would be, so I ordered the English one ;)

    27. Scott Kirby on

      I love reading these updates! Always funny and even if its bad news they are given in such a way that I'm still happy! This KS has been a pleasure to be a part of, and it'll be a shame when it all comes to an end. I just hope that the package of pleasure won't be delivered while I'm away in Europe........

    28. Max Runeare on

      David, you're the best. I cannot explain how much your enthusiasm and willingness to be up front with us is appreciated. Keep on being the greatest person to run a kickstarter ever.

    29. Missing avatar

      Jon Foulkes on

      David, I love you (in a manly, game loving kinda way).

      Plus, this is an instant T-Shirt slogan - THE SHEEP WILL USUALLY COST YOU EXTRA. NOT TODAY.


    30. Matthew Lindley on

      I'm strangely pleased it's been delayed. Your updates are informative and amusing. It's like getting even more free content while the project stays alive.

      I hope something happens on the way to the warehouse LOL!