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I wrote a novel! And I wanted to try a fun way to distribute it. The book is called The Collective. This is Andrew vs. The Collective.
I wrote a novel! And I wanted to try a fun way to distribute it. The book is called The Collective. This is Andrew vs. The Collective.
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"Search Engine Optimization" - Andrew vs. The Collective #3

Story #3 is live! You can download the PDF here or read it as HTML here.

This week presented a unique challenge. In order to attain the ultimate search engine optimization for the story I wanted to name-drop a lot of Internet people and institutions. Usually when I write these stories I have an Excel document open with all of your inputs. I map out on an outline where those all are going to go, and then I start plugging them in as I write. Having this list of proper nouns to name-drop meant that the list on my Excel document was twice as long this week!

I enjoyed writing about the present this time around (though it was sometimes difficult to remember to stay in the present tense). A lot of the people featured in this story are friends and acquaintances and it was a lot of fun to move them around in a fiction. Hopefully they're all pleased with how they came off.

My measure for success for this story is how many people we can get to read it. As I explained when I asked for submissions - this one is partly an exercise in drawing as many people to this project as possible. I'd be much obliged if you could post a link to the story on your blog, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever - if you've got one. That's all part of Search Engine Optimization.

Awards this week:

Most villainous: This goes again to Craig Blalock who insisted upon an autobiographical element to the story as well as the scene at The Bayou Salt Lounge where I personally must be betting on Chicken Drop.

Most creative: Saheli Datta submitted a picture!

Submission about the Internet it took the most work for me to figure out:: Admittedly, I don't know everything about the Internet. And so it took a bit of research to tie Jayson Lorenzen's submission to the founding of Linux. (Jayson, let me know if I missed something with the Dover angle?)

My favorite setting this week: Amish Country! Great thinking Kevin Jackson. The most essential element in a story about the Internet is the setting in which there is absolutely zero Internet access.

My favorite character this week: Two way tie. Ninja of Die Antwoord (from Andrew Clark) was the most fun to write dialogue for. But C1alis (from Josh Heller) is the best character name I think I've ever encountered.

My favorite sentence this week: From Pam Torno: "If you were to invent a dish called Wu Tang Clams, what would you put in it?" Pam told me she was going to change her submission this week to be more Internet-related, but I'm glad she never did. This fit with Ninja like sugar and coffee.

My favorite word of the week: Actually from a sentence submission - Nick Lamb introduced me to the "unbrella": "The world's most expensive umbrellas and outdoor gear. You CAN'T afford it."

This week's soundtrack: Admittedly all I listened to this week was Dr. Dog. Here are a few tracks:

Ain't it Strange

The Breeze

And they've got a new one out: Shadow People is on this page.

We're halfway there! I've still got another three stories to write and you've still got three more chances to try and stump me. I'm not sure yet if there'll be a theme to Story #4, but I will be traveling cross-country while I write it - so if that inspires anybody, let me know.


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    1. Michele Bell on February 24, 2010

      Too funny! You should hyperlink the viral YouTube videos. And dang me that I did not submit the "I Like Turtles" zombie!

    2. Kevin Jackson on February 24, 2010

      Loved it. Especially that bit of Deus ex Machina at the end :)

    3. Craig Blalock on February 23, 2010

      Loved the inclusion of Grabblin for catfish in the Pearl. That was genius!

    4. Jayson Lorenzen on February 23, 2010

      Andrew, naugh, Dover had nothing to do with Linux, but the timezone might have been useful in regards to the time attributed to its creation. After adding that and clicking the button, I regret it actually. hahahaaaaa, can't wait to read this story and see how that panned out.