THANK YOU SO %$@&ING MUCH!
You are all so amazing; we love you so %&$#ing much! Thank you to everyone who helped make this album possible and who helped us hit so many stretch goals! We are OVERWHELMED by your generosity and overall amazingness!
Who We %#$&ing Are
We are The Misbehavin’ Maidens, a bawdy, nerd-folk comedy band celebrating six years of performing feminist, sex-positive, and LGBTQIAP+ representative parodies and original tunes full of fandom references for geeky adults.
Listen to our first two albums online to get an idea of what we’re about!
Our first two albums were generously funded by the Kickstarter community, and we’re psyched to get our third album into your hands! Let’s do this!
What We’re %#$&ing Making
This album is seriously %&$#king ambitious for us: it’s got more full-length tracks, more instrumentation, and lots more swearing than either of our previous albums.
Why all the %#$&ing swearing? Because #Big2019Mood, for one thing, and because we care passionately about a lot of %#$&ing things.
Our base goal, combined with the funds we've already saved, will allow us to mix and master the album, print the CD, and buy and ship rewards. To-be-announced stretch goals will get you bonus merch, early-released music, and other exciting things!
Here Are the %#$&ing Tracks
This album has 13 full-length tracks. We’ve noted the rating of each song below to prove that, despite the title, there are some songs on this album that are safe to play for kids and coworkers!
1. Bibliophilia (original): Library! Sex! Puns! (R) (Single available now!)
2. Slytherins are Misunderstood (parody of folk song “Jogging”): UR SNEK FRIENDZ R OK. (PG-13)
3. Mermaids and Queers (original): Sirens have special tricks to lure straight women, gay guys, asexuals, and demisexuals to their deaths. (Inspired by Tumblr!) (PG)
4. Space Shanty (parody of traditional “The Mermaid”): Star Trek: TNG was pretty hilarious, yeah? (PG)
5. Smile! (cover of a song by our cuddle enemies The PDX Broadsides & their friend Fletcher Lanning): Catcalling sucks. Don’t ask us to smile. (PG) (P.S. Back The PDX Broadsides' album 3 + tour Kickstarter!)
6. Bunnies in My Brain (parody of “Chicken on a Raft”): Anthropomorphizing anxiety disorder! (PG)
7. 600 Miles (Dragon Con) (parody of Hedy West’s “500 Miles” - no, not the Proclaimers’ song, sorry): Atlanta is very #%$&king far away (for us). (R)
8. Dock Worker's Song (parody of Great Big Sea’s/Ron Angel’s “Chemical Worker’s Song”): #SexWorkerLyfe (R)
9. Pillowtalk (original - BRAND NEW, performed live for the first time April 2019!): What NOT to say after sex. (R)
10. Mansplain Man (parody of folk traditional “Hangin’ Johnny”): Seriously, don’t be that guy. (PG)
11. Drinks Don't Have a F**king Gender (original): Drink what you want. Who cares if it’s pink? Break gender stereotypes. Burn the patriarchy. (This is our sweariest song.) (R)
12. Dumb Ways to Con (parody of Internet meme sensation “Dumb Ways to Die”): Tales of fandom con foolishness. (PG)
13. Do You Take It (cover of a song by The Wet Spots): “The third date song,” so to speak. (R)
We've Got More %#$&ing Instrumentation
Our first album was purely a cappella - vocals only. Our second album added ukulele to some songs. The songs on "Swearing is Caring" are a mix of vocals only, vocals with ukulele, and some more complex combinations that bring a whole new dimension to some of our fan favorites. Thanks to our composer and fiddler Donna Korn and pianist Maggie Cason, whose added instrumentation really helped make this album something special.
We’re Proud of What We %#$&ing Do
We started as a band of women singing dirty songs because it was fun, but over time, we started writing more songs about things we’re passionate about: sex education, feminism, support for people of all sexualities and genders (three of us identify as LGBTQIAP+), and, yes, our various fandoms. We still relish making people laugh, but we hope to be a little bit educational in the process, and also to help people who aren’t often represented in popular culture to feel “seen.”
But don’t take our word for it: Here’s what some of our fans and fellow performers have to say:
Here Are the %#$&ing Rewards
In addition to the album itself, we have some pretty &$%king sweet rewards lined up. Take a peek:
“Swearing is Caring” NSFW coloring book
Coloring swear words and lyrics from our songs has been scientifically proven to decrease your stress. 6 out of 9 doctors recommend it.
This unisex-fit, super soft shirt is the kind you'll want to wear all the time. Sizes S-XXL will be available.
We’ve got an exclusive, GLITTERY variant of our new “Swearing is Caring” enamel pin that you can ONLY get by backing the Kickstarter. The glittery variant of this design will NOT be available as an Add-on or anywhere else. This is your only chance to get the limited-edition version of this pin!
We’ve had a ton of requests for these dice from our fans all over the world, so now is your chance to get them! These awesome dice have our skull logo on the “6” side. You can choose between three variants, all by Chessex: Gemini Black-Red/Gold, Scarab Scarlet/Gold, and Lustrous Purple/Gold.
If you back a reward tier that includes dice, on your post-Kickstarter rewards survey you will get to choose "first choice" and "second choice" for EACH of the dice you'll receive in your tier. (Yes, this means you could get two different dice or all three designs split among the eight dice if you backed at a higher tier.) We're optimistic we can give everyone their first choice, but we can't guarantee it, since our stock is limited and the dice take so long to produce.
Pride and Lyric Pins
These super popular pins let you show your Maidens fandom in a unique way! We have pins with popular lyrics on them, as well as our skull logo with various LGBTQIAP+ pride flags in the design.
Pins available include:
(Please note: Pin sizing/hardware may vary slightly.)
We’ll have a few drinks, and one of us will lovingly write you a postcard. There will likely be some swear words on it. Perhaps a weird haiku. Possibly incoherent ramblings. Maybe a bad pun or two. Who knows? (We might even livestream the silliness.)
A &%#$KING HUGGABLE SKULL.
Our own Saber Tompson made these beautiful, screenprinted pillows, which are approximately 11 inches wide by 8 inches tall. They're perfect little throw pillows to scream swear words into. They don't mind.
We'll make a video, for a person of your choosing, in which we will wish them happy birthday and sing one of our songs (you can pick which one)!
Exclusive Concert - ALL GONE!
Our highest backer level will get you a 90-minute concert for up to 20 people - EITHER in-person (limited to backers who live less than 3 hours’ driving distance from Silver Spring, Maryland) OR online (anywhere in the world!). Please note that concerts will likely need to be planned several months in advance to accommodate everyone's schedules. If you require a specific date, message us on Kickstarter or email us to to confirm availability BEFORE choosing this level. This reward CAN'T be used to book us for a convention or other private gig with more than 20 attendees.
Want our previous CDs, autographs, an extra t-shirt, etc.? You’ll be able to do that with Backerkit shortly after the campaign ends!
Note: ALL STRETCH GOALS UNLOCKED! HOLY $%#&!
Why We %#$&ing Need You
We are a fully independent, self-published band! This is great because it means we don’t have anybody but ourselves deciding how often we can swear and what kinds of songs we can perform! But this also means we finance everything ourselves. All the money we make from gigs and merch sales goes toward buying more merch, paying travel expenses so we can perform for our awesome fans who live further away, and funding future recordings.
The good news is principal recording for Swearing is Caring is already DONE and paid for. We saved enough money so we could work ahead, and we’re SUPER eager to get this album out into the world.
But: We still need your help to finish this sucker.
Here’s how our base goal of $7,500 will be spent:
Thank You. We %#$&ing Love You!
We would not be making a third album if it weren’t for the undying support of our amazing fans, friends, and families who have backed our Kickstarters, come to our shows, bought our %&$#king albums and merch, said nice things to us on Twitter, and told others about our music. Some specific shout-outs: Thanks to Donna Korn for making our pitch tracks, so we sounded extra polished on the album! Thanks to Steve Steckler for being such a master of mixing and sound engineering! Thanks to Daniel Kelly for our amazing new photos! Thanks to Russell Altizer for the amazing graphic design work for our coloring book, album, and rewards! And thanks to our loved ones who have supported the %#$& out of us throughout our journey as a band.
Risks and challenges
We have completed two successful Kickstarters, both of which were funded at more than double their original goals. Rewards for each were delivered early or on time. And we're already ahead of schedule for this album, as we've already recorded it; we just need to get it out into the world!
We are confident we will yet again deliver your rewards early or on time. We’ve carefully estimated costs, in part based on previous Kickstarters (in the wise words of Rouge, our treasurer: everything ALWAYS costs more than you think it will), and also allowed some wiggle room in our timelines to account for any last-minute SNAFUs. We fully expect this Kickstarter to be a success.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (29 days)