LOVE & CIGARETTES
'even when our conjoined worlds of beautiful chaos were slashed to part we still came together one last time & drew from the well we built from scratch made of earth, ocean blood, wind & fire so delicately strong & we just sat there in the pure wonder of our little world expanding silence - ever potent & you taught me over again when you had every right to hate me what love really is'
the campaign is LIVE!!!!!!!!! //
love & cigarettes is an exploration of words, nature & heart; birthed in a season of love & surrender, questions & contradictions.
my little book of prose & poetry was birthed in a season of raw questioning, giving in to the hushed cries of my heart & true messy falling apart. what it feels like to fall apart at the same time as falling in love with the love of my life & with myself all over again makes quite the little collection.
It runs for 40 days & all funds go into the printing production & costs.
If we go above & beyond the goal amount my book will be forever available via my online store, & through wholesalers online & offline.
"life & loss, love & ever-longing, living & letting go. All the "Ls" that mark our biggest turning points & inner contradictions which all just push for a deeper acceptance of all parts of who we are. Jessi's little book of treasures is a book but you can't help but behold. Words that flutter off the page - sweet as chai - lovingly infectious"
- Allegra Paolo; influencer, photographer, blogger.
I am in awe of this young woman - who has done what many of us writers, dreamers & composers do - she backed herself & stood up for her words, her voice, her beauty & her magic. Her work arrived in my letterbox amid a churned up ocean of events. I cried alongside her vulnerabilities & found solace in the way they echo mine, although we are two very unique women on difference voyages. Thank you for always being a spark of energy & the bolt of courage we could all learn a little more from.
- Tarryn Abraham; creative director, photographer, magic maker.
100+ pages of prose & poetry creatively written in a time of bittersweet falling apart; to fall back together all over again
This is a book dedicated to all that are courageous enough to follow the pulse & rhythm of their heart & it's deepest callings
THE BACK STORY
TWO YEARS OF
the gentle whispers for love & cigarettes were planted with a rough tug of the ground under my feet on the 4th of July 2016 (exactly 2 years ago to the start of the pre-order campaign) with the deepest felt fall of my life; the day the love of my life up until that point left my world to love me at a distance.
I had been trying to make something fit that simply no longer did. so eventually, as all things that aren’t meant for us do, he fell away & left a raw & swollen wide-open space.
three days before, my two best friends - who we had shared a home with up until that point - also decided to allow their worlds to part & love each other as only friends.
“& so began the most wonderful & scary darkness - a falling away of even the parts of me I wanted to cling to for dear life, for a surrender over to the even better. & then in the midst of feeling my body might just break from such a painful but intricately placed process of falling away, a veil dropped. here also began a rise into love with the ex-love of a sister who was made of the same star as I.”
& an even deeper falling-away process began, as I made a choice to pursue my hearts deepest calling in a time where I had never felt so clear. I had shedded years of being that no longer served me & it was time to move with my heart.
& so the grounds we had built a sisterhood on fell away as he & I chose each other & allowed a love to bloom, & a very beautiful heart to break in the process.
it was there - sitting in the deepest, darkest experience of loss whilst never feeling more intuitively led towards a path in my life - where the words began & still haven’t stopped. forgiving myself was a complicated process, textured with a gentle pink softness & a red fire that burned all in the one.
playing with words brought on an avalanche of unexplored corners of my own encounters with love up until that point, both crippling & magical. & a deeper question surfaced inside of me: ‘what does it mean to truly love?’ or better yet:
‘what would love do?’
there have been so many choices I have made in my life in an external pursuit for love from others, as this is where I thought it was. & love’s opposite in my title became ‘cigarettes’.
‘cigarettes is a metaphor for the things I have tried or allowed to happen to me in pursuit of a kind of acceptance connected purely to external ideas. It’s that young exploration we go through when we are finding out footing in a world that is full of mis-alignments, distractions & contradictions. & it’s that awakening hindsight we get after a gentle, natural passing of time after a heartbreak, disappointment, hurdle, or darkness. It’s where we suddenly realise we were seeing things through smoky mirrors.'
& this all leads back to love, if we are courageous enough to choose it, despite all else’
THE PROCESS SO FAR
‘the humble beginnings of her pages started with rain-filled days & any scrap pieces of paper I could find when the words would stop me in my tracks’
it feels as if the book finished herself about a year ago.
& then I got stuck as I was receiving very specific creative downloads on the look, feel, ordering of the books exterior & interior. all the publishing avenues I was looking at (through a skewed focus at that time) were not going to offer me the freedom I truly feel ‘love & cigarettes’ deserves.
a few months ago, an intuition struck me that it was time get my book out there & it was so strong I pushed a little deeper the second time around.
I decided to self-publish ‘love & cigarettes’ with pure-heart to keep her in her most raw, real, unfiltered goodness. I have felt intuitively led each step of the process, with one baby step presenting itself at a time.
the process started with a slow editing & ordering of my words to create a magical flow of light & dark I was happy with. then all of a sudden I received a new season of words on download, which I then added to her pages.
it wasn’t the right time before, she wasn’t ready to be finished yet.
I reached out to my dear friend Kalindy Williams - Melbourne based illustrator, photographer & artist who mixes traditional analogue with modern technology to create unique pieces. I deeply needed someone else to jump on board creatively & carry some of the books potent weight through envisioning up a cover design. she is the perfect creative soul to help me bring my florally, earthy vision to life. she has been so wonderfully gracious & patient with me & has created something just so in line with what I imagined. she also encouraged the idea of Kickstarter as a pre-order & helped me brainstorm some extra goodies to go with when you generously get behind the book.
the leaves & florals represent falling away & a shedding of layers, as love & cigarettes was truly birthed in a time of exactly that.
her intricate & slow process has truly challenged my excitement for quick turn arounds & physical results! it has evolved wonderfully & slowly & that is something that is so hard to achieve in the fast paced world of instant expectation we are finding ourselves intertwined within. it's miraculous & truly mind blowing to see the book in finished form as it was created over such a natural passing of time that it's crazy to think that I have made something so tangible!
the campaign content was shot by me & my little trusty DSLR camera & I had some extra help from my wonderful partner - who then became my fiance right after shooting my pictures & a new season was birthed.
the pages of her prose will be independently printed on recycled cream paper with a beautiful matte-finished cover.
THE CAMPAIGN AND IT’S PACKAGES
How does it work?
After 40 days & once the goal is reached WE PRESS PRINT!!! THE BOOK IS FINALISED & READY TO REACH YOUR HANDS!!!!! All i need now is your support to see this book & it’s heart-filled pages materialise into a tangible reality.
I see the campaign acting as a pre-order with some extra special offerings & inclusions for your support & trust in my envisioning! If you feel the nudge, please share the pre-order campaign with your tribe & beyond!
The package I am most excited about is: THE ALL I CAN LOVE PACKAGE With a limited number of 40 available!!! With postage costs included globally in this package only, it's a package of really all the brightest gifts of me that I can offer you for the best value I could muster!
There are 7 packages: some are good things in small packages & some are double goodness served in more abundant sizes.
1. THE "JUST BECAUSE LOVE" PACKAGE / this is for those wonderful souls out there who don't really care too much for books or poetry but want just want to offer something just because: imperfect love is an incredible part of being human. you can start at as little as 1 dollar & it goes up from there, so just whatever your heart desires.
2. THE "JUST ENOUGH LOVE" PACKAGE / little gifts for the soul.
INCLUDES: the love & cigarettes complimentary playlist link - the love & cigarettes campaign exclusive ebook, full of poems not seen in the paperback version
3. THE "TANGIBLE LOVE" PACKAGE
bringing you the book in tangible form + some extra love. & of course a credit to you within the pages for your loving support.
INCLUDES: the love & cigarettes complimentary playlist link - the love & cigarettes campaign exclusive ebook, full of poems not seen in the paperback version - 1 copy of love & cigarettes paperback AND your name printed in the book as big loving gratitude to you!
4. THE "ALLURING LOVE" PACKAGE
bringing you a little extra love with a floral printed bookmark to keep track of journey within her tangible pages. & of course a credit to you within the pages for your loving support.
INCLUDES: the love & cigarettes complimentary playlist link - the love & cigarettes campaign exclusive ebook, full of poems not seen in the paperback version - 1 copy of love & cigarettes paperback - floral bookmark - AND your name printed in the book as big loving gratitude to you!
5. THE "DOUBLE LOVE" PACKAGE
bringing you double tangible goodness with an extra book to gift to your loved one AND an exclusive prose artwork download to frame & grace your walls or gift away & pass on the love. & of course a credit to you within the pages for your loving support.
INCLUDES: the love & cigarettes complimentary playlist link - the love & cigarettes campaign exclusive ebook, full of poems not seen in the paperback version - 2 copies of love & cigarettes paperback - one exclusive digital love & cigarettes prose artwork download (print + frame yourself) - AND your name printed in the book as big loving gratitude to you!
6. THE "STRETCHY SUPERCHARGED LOVE" PACKAGE
bringing you SUPERCHARGED tangible goodness with a little yoga stretchiness, (I am also a qualified classical yoga practitioner)
INCLUDES: the love & cigarettes complimentary playlist link - the love & cigarettes campaign exclusive ebook, full of poems not seen in the paperback version - an extra book to gift to your loved one - an exclusive prose artwork download to frame & grace your walls or gift away & pass on the love - AND a 1 hour therapeutic yoga alignment session (either in person or online) valued at $100.00 AUD. & of course a credit to you within the pages for your loving support.
7. THE "ALL I CAN LOVE" PACKAGE my absolute favourite of all the packages as it's full of everything I can tangibly offer you as a fellow human being with incredible value. this is the only package with INCLUDES POSTAGE to give you as much value for your precious dollars as possible as thanks for such huge, big hearted support.
INCLUDES: the love & cigarettes complimentary playlist link - the love & cigarettes campaign exclusive ebook, full of poems not seen in the paperback version - TWO x the book in tangible form exclusive prose artwork download to frame & grace your walls or gift away - & your choice of either TWO x therapeutic yoga alignment sessions with me valued at $200 OR a professional photography session valued at $200 with me. & of course a credit to you within the pages for your loving support.
THE PLAN MOVING FORWARD
As some of you would know, self publishing entails many of its own challenges in terms of expense & upfront costs—which birthed the purpose of this campaign.
It opens the door for everyone to have the opportunity to be a part of the process of bringing this book to life in tangible form, whether it's big or small it really doesn't matter.
You use the campaign as a pre-order or contribute to the project in a way that just pushes her flowery pages of love just that bit closer to the print button!!!
it feels right to make the love-filled pages of this book available in every corner of this universe! the book will be available internationally. it's important to keep in mind that postage may incur an additional charge for international supporters outside of Australia. my very little team & I have done what we can to keep postage prices to a minimum.
Australian supporters will have the beautiful luxury of cheap postage as it was created here. Also please be mindful that postage is not inclusive in the package prices, it's an add on only, EXCEPT for the "ALL I CAN LOVE" package where postage is covered for you.
Forever grateful from the bottom of my heart to all of my international supporters. I LOVE YOUU!!!
If the campaign goal is reached I plan on making the book more accessible!
excludes wholesale & retail purposes. at a successful conclusion of this campaign I am hoping to make this happen!!!!!
thank you thank you thank you in advance for helping make my little package of love & contradictions a tangible reality.
I have poured out everything I have to curate the realest most human expression of a time of true falling apart, love, painful opening & contractions.
straight from my heart to your hands! I hope you feel held when you read it.
ALL MY LOVE
Note: you will not be charged until the campaign resolves (successfully).
Risks and challenges
there is minimal risk that i can foresee. the books are completely finalised - bar adding in the names of the generous, big-hearted humans supporting her production & i cannot wait to deliver her love-filled & contradictory pages to you.
as soon as the campaign resolves final touches are then added & the print button gets pressed! (EEEEEK)!
we aim to package her up in sparkles & petals to get her in your sweet loving hands by September!
I am deeply hopeful this wont be the case, but if the campaign is not successful the money you kindly gifted will be immediately refunded to you.
in the insanely incredible event that the campaign goal amount is reached & more pre-orders are requested than the goal amount there will be more push for her pages to be accessible both online via my website & external wholesalers & in stores + gift shops. this will be just MAGICAL!
ALL MY LOVE
JESSI xxLearn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (40 days)