Day 10: Here comes the sun!
A month ago today, I turned 29.
At my birthday dinner that night, a friend asked if I was dreading 30. But in between all the heartbreak and indecision of the past nine years, my 20s have often felt like an extended adolescence. I’ve been waiting for them to be over for about a year and a half.
“To hell with my 20s!” I declared. “I can’t wait to turn 30. Bring on accountability and direction in life! Bring on the wrinkles!”
My former roommate and dear friend had a mantra that he taped up on our apartment door the day we moved in together. “LOVE YOUR 20s” it read. For the longest time, my interpretation of it fell somewhere between Love your 20s – because once you’re 30, you’re got one foot in the grave and Love your 20s – because you’ll never be this happy/carefree/good in bed and Love your 20s – because after this, shit gets real. But I’ve come to realize recently that loving your twenties is a lesson not so much in carpe diem-ing your way through life, but learning to love who you are and honoring where you come from.
As I have expressed to many of you in the past week, launching this Kickstarter campaign has been an incredible lesson in accountability. For the first time since I began writing this book, I feel like I’m finally taking ownership not only of the project itself, but of my story and of my life – of the beauty and the sadness and the scars. Each one of you who has watched the video, pledged support, or shared your own personal story of loss has inspired me to continue, to go forth and be brave.
I spent the larger part of the past nine months wondering in solitude what I was doing all this for. But now, suddenly, I am no longer alone.
I have never been so humbled.