Hi I'm Joe. I had an idea for a book. A few years ago some storytellers were gathered around a campfire at a storytelling festival. They each decided to tell a story in their native tongue. That story was told in Cherokee, Spanish, Russian and Sign Language... and then it came to me. I usually draw my stories but I didn't have a tablet so I decided to tell the story in my true native language of Pittsburghese. I had to educate them on the language first, and they seemed sincerely fascinated. Somewhere I imagine there is a storyteller in Russia opening her performance with "How yinz guys doin n'at?"
This book features the story of the Three Little Pigs translated into Pittsburghese! I it is probably the first book of it's kind translated into our colorful language. It is a book for Yinzers everywhere, a chance to share your love of our unique language and culture with children, adults, visitors, Steelers fans and yes even a great way to taunt Browns fans!
It even includes a "Yinzernary" for those not familiar with the language by eager to learn!
The foreword, or perhaps forewarned, is written by beloved Pittsburgh filmmaker Rick Sebak, who knows quite a bit about Pittsburgh and Pittsburghers.
You can even get the Book on CD as one of the perks, as read by Pittsburgh comedy icon Jimmy Krenn. It also includes how to speak Pittsburghese lessons.
The Three Little Pigsburghers is the end product of countless ahrs of hard werk, Arn City Beer and one too many Pimanti Brudder samiches!
Thank you for the opportunity to share my work with you, as a storyteller, a writer, and pretty good drawer.
Risks and challenges
The book is written, illustrations are started! Soon it will be off to the editor, designer and then printers. I have allowed extra time for printing but there can often be delays when printing a book. I have tried to account for this but sometimes unforeseen circumstance can cause further delays. I will do my very best to get these out in a timely manner. I am hoping to host the launch party at the ToonSeum, however if the numbers are overwhelming we may have to move to a larger location.
Please make sure when we request t-shirt size you get that to us in a timely manner, we cannot print until we have all the sizes and that too can cause delays. I learned a lot from the Quack N At shirts I printed last year! Hopefully I can implement much of what I have learned to make this a smooth process.
Why are you doing this? (Is this some sort of community service hours for a conviction or something?)
I am doing this because I love Pittsburgh! I love everything about it! The people, the buildings, the food, the art, and the language. This book is a love letter to our city. Although I imagine it would be a pretty ineffective love letter as it is mostly about pigs.
Pittsburghese is a dialect and language unique to the Pittsburgh and Pittsburghers, locally known as Yinzers because of their frequent use of the term "Yinz." "Yinz" is the equivalent of the southern Ya'all. "Yinz Guys" is equivalent to "All Y'all!"
The New York Times once referred to Pittsburghese as the Galapagos Islands of the English language. Of course the New York times also endorsed Wendell Willkie and Thomas Dewey for President of the United States.
Pittsburghese is a beautiful language far more beautiful than lesser romantic languages. Oh sure, 'tu sei la ragazza più bella del mondo' has a certain nice sound to it, but "Yinz wanna go dahn to primanti brodders and grab a couple of arns?" has a much more romantic charm.
Yes this is for real. I have wanted to create this book for a very long time. But due to the rigorous demands of my work schedule, and a general laziness, I never got around to it.
Now thanks to meditation, a strong work ethic, a laser like focus on the task at hand and a new experimental medication for ADD made from badger musk and only available from the Target Pharmacy in Malyasia, I have decided now is the prefect time to write and illustrate this book.
Jimmy Krenn is the nicest guy in all of Pittsburgh. He will do anything for a good cause. Unfortunately for me this isn't really that good a cause. So as far as he knows the proceeds from this book are going to a shelter on the Northside for dyslexic dogs diagnosed with god complex. (think about that for a second, it's actually much funnier than it sounds the first time.)
Rick Sebak, is actually the nicest guy in all of Pittsburgh. Not that Jimmy Krenn isn't a nice guy but I mean, come on! It's Rick Sebak! Jimmy would be great to sit around with having a cigar and sharing jokes, but Rick Sebak would take you to Kennywood and share his Potato Patch Fries!
Rick and Jimmy both did this because they are collectively the nicest guy in Pittsburgh. They are the Pittsburgh Wonder Twins of Awesomeness (which is kind of an oxymoron but whatever). If you were to combine the two of them on any project at all, like, oh I don't know, say, a book? That project would be assured of being the greatest thing ever produced in the history of all time.
Well, I am glad you asked. A lot of it will go into actual production cost to produce the book, CD and T-shirts. About 5 percent will go to the ToonSeum, a non-profit museum of comic and cartoon art.
Still more of this money will go into important research to help build a fully operational Mark V Iron Man suit for me to wear at Comic-Con and to smite my enemies. I am very big on smiting, and let me tell you an Iron Man suit will laydown some serious smote!
The rest will go into a special fund to help me, Joe Wos, not have to grow up an get a real job. Seriously, I've been unemployed for 7 years! I am a volunteer at the ToonSeum. Of course I don't call it unemployed, it's called choosing a career in the arts.
I have written and performed over 100 different stories as a cartoonist and storyteller. I have been a performer on stage illustrating stories live for the past 30 years nationwide. I have worked as a cartoonist since the age of 14.. I.. I.. I am stalling. No, I have never written a book.
This is my first book. But I promise it's a good one. Really. I am having someone else edit the spelling for airers and everything! It's going to be real good!
Sure go ahead.
In this book I will be revealing the secret vices of Pittsburgh's most powerful and prominent citizens!
I have photographic evidence to support all of my claims! This book will be enough to take down the Pittsburgh Illuminati! Of course should they choose to support this book on Kickstarter, I could leave certain information out of the book. No one needs to ever know for example that: Mr M. was spotted on Liberty Avenue outside the ToonSeum attempting to ###### with ###### but ##### the ##### in ###### before ##### came by and ##### the ###. You know you are, and I certainly hope you will be supporting this book at a very high level.
If all of those mentioned show their "support" then this book will be about the Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wuff instead. Which is probably much better given the title.
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- (32 days)