This seemed impossible. Exactly what I'd been avoiding nearly all my adulthood, since my daughter was born. The closed box in my mind was supposed to stay shut. Now I was going to open it.
I had to go back in time, look at the most difficult time of my life and bring it out into the open. I decided to do it for a friend's gallery show, 'A Little Show about Depression'. What could I talk about? I was in a quandary. I would not call myself as a depressed. I knew people who explain and talk of their depression and I didn't want to lay a false claim to this word that describes something so important and crucial to their daily lives. I went to my desk, picked up my pen and ink and thought, when have I had to deal with something really big and frightening and sad? Ah. Yes, when I thought about it I realised I did have a story, one I rarely talked about. Whoosh! Once I began to draw from memory I couldn't stop the pictures and moments from my past tumbling out.
The scene of my story was set with the evocative stage of the Isle of Dogs. What a classic juxtaposition to have a whirlwind romance struggling and failing against the sounds and sweat and smells of the construction of East London Docklands during the 1990s!
The Isle of Dogs. A beautiful, abandoned, cut off land in the centre the biggest capital in Europe. Once full of industry, fallen silent, it was now being called back to life by the financiers, by the wheelers and dealers, with a new tower shining above like the eye of Sauron.
This is a story about everyday challenge of becoming a young parent, getting married and living independently in a London that seems to have now vanished. Where I worked in community arts and felt free and adventurous, and how that closed in. It is a story of severe mental health, awareness of psychosis, living with these problems and surviving in my own way.
Most of all, this is a personal love story.
In which, as we all know, anything can happen.
Risks and challenges
The challenge is to get this project to print in the most elegant and touching way. How to I do this? On what kind of budget? I would like to use a local press and get 500 well produced hard bound copies that can be personalised for those who are into the project and want to support the tale-telling exercise, be a part of these memories, celebrate our human potential for struggle and survival. If I don't get enough pre-sales I will produce a paperback and use an affordable solution.
I am looking for advance sales that will help me just create a good book. I'm not expecting amazing press coverage or international fame just to share my expressive drawings and feelings. I hope this memoir will entertain and be compelling, but also be a companion to all those that go through difficult domestic experience or encounter mental health issues on their journey. I believe, in different ways, this applies to all of us.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (60 days)