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A horrible graphic novel with recipes in it 'Like Water for Chocolate' but only if Laura Esquivel hated food and people. Horrific.
A horrible graphic novel with recipes in it 'Like Water for Chocolate' but only if Laura Esquivel hated food and people. Horrific.
158 backers pledged $5,118 to help bring this project to life.
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DEMON BITCH: OFF THE WAGON PANHANDLING TOUR

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 1 or more About US$ 1

    Keep the Change!

    You throw it in my cup as I'm begging you for money on a street corner! You got my thanks and I'm sure I won't spend it on booze, but I can't anymore so there you go!

    Includes:
    • Hopes and Prayers!
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    Zorilita's 5"X7" "RAT KROTCH" Print!

    Zorilita's signed 5X7" "RAT KROTCH" Print!

    Includes:
    • Zorilita's 5"X7" 'RAT KROTCH' Signed PRINT
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    Rawdog's signed 5X7" 'Club" Print

    Get a signed copy of Lawrence "Rawdog" Hubbard print! It's disgusting!

    Includes:
    • Rawdog's 5"X7" 'Up at the Club' Signed Print!
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    "DB: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" PDF Boo

    The PDF version of this pile of shit! At a steal! Or something. Oh yeah, it's not a "boo", it's a book but I ran out of space.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
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    Pledge US$ 5 or more About US$ 5

    "DB: She Sucks" PDF Book

    Just in case if you missed out on the last Kickstarter because you were not cool or broke or possibly both, you can get it! No, I'm not signing it. The last time I did that, it was a bitch to scrub the Sharpie off of my monitor.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
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    "DB: Hellfire and Damnation" PDF Book

    I didn't run a Kickstarter for this one. In fact, I don't think I did anything for this one except use it for toilet paper once. Anyway, no need to get grossed out - it's all digital.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Hellfire and Damnation"
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    WHERE IT ALL BEGAN: PDF VERSION

    This is the first book where I started on my reign of hating people. Well, hating assholes. Here's the PDF version of "Personal Monsters: A Compendium of Monstrosities of Personality". It was terrible like me, so you'll enjoy it.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Personal Monsters: A Compendium of Monstrosities..."
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    Match Made in Hell

    Who knew that someone cool would hit me up and cause me to collab Demon Bitch with them? Please God no, don't do this to me! Eunsoo Jeong of Koreangry wanted to do a sticker. She really did. God, I hate Demon Bitch, you suck so much, why couldn't we collaborate on anything GOOD!? Oh well, it's KICKSTARTER exclusive and only when supplies last! It's HOLOGRAPHIC too because I don't have any fucking taste.

    Includes:
    • 3X3" Holographic Sticker collab with Koreangry
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    "Introduction of Shitbird" Tramp Stamp

    Since I couldn't sleep with fucking Shitbird screaming at my ear, I decided to make a series of 4" vinyl stickers because I wanted to share my pain with you. I hate you.

    This is the one commemorating the arrival of Shitbird into our lives because she's special in that kind of way. It illustrates in impeccable illustrative format of how racuous and shrill and jarring her calls are.

    Includes:
    • 4" 'Introduction of Shitbird' Vinyl Sticker
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    "MYASS!MYASS!MYASS!" Tramp Stamp

    A 4" vinyl sticker showing the "Call of Shitbird". It is a vignette of some of the calls she puts out into the wild. You can stick it anywhere, but not illegal, but you should it on the small of your back because your ass is probably smaller and less glorious than hers - at least that's what she says. She forgets that thigh meat is not the same as actual ass meat, and that it is riddled with pock marks and highly abnormal deposits of lumpy fat.

    Oh now, I'm just being mean.

    Includes:
    • 4" 'MY ASS! MY ASS!' aka "The Call of Shitbird" Vinyl Sticker
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    "$3=Jealousy" Vinyl Sticker TRAMP STAMP

    A 4.4" wide vinyl sticker showing the cold, cool logic of Shitbird. Because of $3 (due to interests owed), somehow according to her, that equals jealousy and more attractiveness over the person she actually wronged.

    In reality, she just went psycho on someone that just suggested her to pay her for her fair share in show tickets and she did offer to reimburse her for that drink, but oh well.

    Details, details.

    Includes:
    • 4.4" "$3 equals Jealousy" Shitbird vinyl sticker.
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    TOMMY THE MUSICAL

    An audio file of one of the stories from the "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses(BOTH USED AND VIRGIN BOOK)" of "The Saga of Egg Lady's Wedding." Read well in "Adult Library Storytime" Fashion of which really doesn't fit this story, because the story is gross. Anyway, it's short and sweet, so your ears won't bleed too much!

    Includes:
    • Audio reading of "The Saga of Egg Lady's Wedding"
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    Pledge US$ 10 or more About US$ 10

    "What Do We Get For 10 Dollars?"

    The PDF of the newest book and of "She Sucks". Just because in case you bought the other shit from me but not this one. At least you can feel better about yourself. I sure as fuck don't.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
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    HOME DEPOT MARRIAGE

    An audio file of one of the stories from the "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses(BOTH USED AND VIRGIN BOOK)" of "The Saga of Egg Lady's Wedding." Read well in "Adult Library Storytime" Fashion which is too good for her! Oh yeah, you get the PDF of the current book, "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses (BOTH USED AND VIRGIN) so you can see how different the audio file is from the written story.

    Just like Hollywood!

    Includes:
    • Audio reading of "The Saga of Egg Lady's Wedding"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
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    MANO E MANO v1

    You're by yourself in your lonesome. You really wish you had friends, but you don't because you are an unlikeable asshole. What do you do? Go pin yourself because it fucking makes you feel valid and validated on so many levels.
    It is the 2" soft enamel pin of the "Demon Bitch Stabbed".

    Fuck.

    Includes:
    • 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed"
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    MANO E MANO v2

    You got a pork tenderloin. You are watching Martha Stewart.

    That is all.

    It is the 2" soft enamel pin of the "Demon Bitch Sperm" that happens.

    Includes:
    • 2" Soft Enamel pin of "Demon Bitch Sperm"
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    The Trio of TERROR (PDF)

    ALL THE PDFs - just in case you missed one and shipping is a bitch. Or you might live in a fucking hoarder house where those little shit dogs of yours pee on your computer tower or something. (True story from my friends that worked in IT.)

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Hellfire and Damnation"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
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    "I'm Pregnant!"

    Not me, and not her either. Done in 2" hard enamel, she uses a baby in order to get free rent with her boyfriend of which she rampantly cheats on! Oh yeah, it's a "gas baby" so that's all right as she didn't want it anyway so it was for the best!

    Includes:
    • "I'm Pregnant!" Demon Bitch Hard Enamel Pin
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    "I Went to College!" Tramp Stamp Package

    Awesome! You got all the vinyl stickers for Shitbird! We have "Introduction to Shitbird", "MyASS!MYASS!MYASS!", and "$3=Jealousy" because you are the "it" person and not Pennywise.

    You have the brilliance of Lisa Frank. Seriously. A brilliant, neurotic, shell of a genius.

    Includes:
    • 4" 'Introduction of Shitbird' Vinyl Sticker
    • 4" 'MY ASS! MY ASS!' aka "The Call of Shitbird" Vinyl Sticker
    • 4.4" "$3 equals Jealousy" Shitbird vinyl sticker.
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    DEBBIE'S RIGHT LUNG TRANSPLANT

    I put a screaming bird in one hand, and a sperm pin in the other.

    I hate you.

    Includes:
    • 4" 'Introduction of Shitbird' Vinyl Sticker
    • 2" Soft Enamel pin of "Demon Bitch Sperm"
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    DEBBIE'S LUNG TRANSPLANT

    Since I couldn't sleep with fucking Shitbird screaming at my ear, I decided to make a series of 4" vinyl stickers because I wanted to share my pain with you. I hate you.

    This is the one commemorating the arrival of Shitbird into our lives because she's special in that kind of way. It illustrates in impeccable illustrative format of how racuous and shrill and jarring her calls are.

    Includes:
    • 4" 'Introduction of Shitbird' Vinyl Sticker
    • 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed"
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    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    1 backer
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    Trio of TERROR (PDF)+1

    ALL THE PDFs - But with 'Personal Monsters' because you wanted to get ALL the books. Yeah fuck you all. What I do for money.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Hellfire and Damnation"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
    • PDF of "Personal Monsters: A Compendium of Monstrosities..."
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    22 backers
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    3 TRAMP STAMPS AND A FRIED CHICKEN

    So, we got vinyl stickers and the special one. Remember when you were a little girl and life was less sad? Less horrendous? And remember when TINDER didn't exist?

    Well fuck, I remember those times too and I'm an adult where not everything has to be hot pink.

    Now I'm crying over my lost innocence, fuck you. :(

    Anyway, you get the three "tramp stamp" stickers and Eunsoo Jeong's awesome "Match Made in Hell" HOLOGRAPHIC sticker because she is great.

    I'm going to go cry now and eat Lindt chocolates due to childhood regression.

    Includes:
    • 4" 'Introduction of Shitbird' Vinyl Sticker
    • 4" 'MY ASS! MY ASS!' aka "The Call of Shitbird" Vinyl Sticker
    • 4.4" "$3 equals Jealousy" Shitbird vinyl sticker.
    • 3X3" Holographic Sticker collab with Koreangry
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    Pledge US$ 22 or more About US$ 22

    MARGOT ROBBIE v1

    Margot Robbie is sexy and so is this reward. You get the 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed", plus the two PDFs of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" and "Demon Bitch: She Sucks". Fuck her.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
    • 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed"
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    Pledge US$ 22 or more About US$ 22

    MARGOT ROBBIE v1

    Margot Robbie is sexy and so is this reward. You get the 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed", plus the two PDFs of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" and "Demon Bitch: She Sucks". Fuck her.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
    • 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed"
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    MARGOT ROBBIE v2

    Margot Robbie is sexy and so is this reward. You get the 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Sperm", plus the two PDFs of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" and "Demon Bitch: She Sucks". Just because.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
    • 2" Soft Enamel pin of "Demon Bitch Sperm"
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    Pledge US$ 24 or more About US$ 24

    GO STEADY v1

    So, some dude wants you to go steady and it's great because you want a commitment, but then you notice he wants you to go and wear a stirrup and saddle... wait sorry, this is for kids.
    You get the pair of two of the new pins. "Demon Bitch Stabbed" and "Demon Bitch Sperm", either way, you got a pork sword to handle it, and you don't need the tenderloin.

    Includes:
    • 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed"
    • 2" Soft Enamel pin of "Demon Bitch Sperm"
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    Silver-Plated Shit Pendant

    I'm kidding it's not a piece of shit, or is it? It actually is! Made by Oscar Ayotzintli for the last Kickstarter, this talented man loves Demon Bitch (not that way or he'll be dead by now!) Made out of unbreakable materials like silver plating, this shit will NOT tarnish (believe me, I tried) and the 24" chain will not fuck with your skin! Sexay!

    Includes:
    • 24" chain silver-plated Demon Bitch pendant
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    "DB: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" Book

    A signed paperback copy of 90 pages of bullshit with recipes!

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
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    Sticker Shock!

    Get a copy of the book "DB: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" with the sticker of Koreangry and Demon Bitch hanging out!

    Includes:
    • 3X3" Holographic Sticker collab with Koreangry
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
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    I NEED A BOOKMARK! RAWDOG STYLE!

    You get a paperback copy of the "Alcoholics and Anonymouses' book and a 5X7" of Rawdog's 'Up at the Club' print! Both are signed with our respective signatures. This'll be valuable someday! Like, more than 10 bucks!

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • Rawdog's 5"X7" 'Up at the Club' Signed Print!
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    I NEED A BOOKMARK! ZORILITA STYLE!

    You get a paperback copy of the "Alcoholics and Anonymouses' book and a 5X7" of Zorilita 'RAT KROTCH' print! Both are signed with our respective signatures. This'll be valuable someday! Like, more than 10 bucks!

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • Zorilita's 5"X7" 'RAT KROTCH' Signed PRINT
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    Pledge US$ 35 or more About US$ 35

    STARTER WITH A TRAMP STAMP v1

    So, I decided if you guys wanted the newest sticker of Shitbird, so be it. I'm doing 5 different versions, each more worst than the last because quanitity is not quality or some shit like that.

    You get a signed paperback of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" plus the 4" sticker of "Introduction of Shitbird".

    You're welcome.

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • 4" 'Introduction of Shitbird' Vinyl Sticker
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    STARTER WITH A TRAMP STAMP v2

    So, I decided if you guys wanted the newest sticker of Shitbird, so be it. I'm doing 5 different versions, each more worst than the last because quanitity is not quality or some shit like that.

    You get a signed paperback of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" plus the 4" sticker of "MY ASS! MY ASS! MY ASS!" aka "The Call of Shitbird". This reminds me of the WWF and not the one with Hulk Hogan.

    You're welcome.

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • 4" 'MY ASS! MY ASS!' aka "The Call of Shitbird" Vinyl Sticker
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    STARTER WITH A TRAMP STAMP v3

    So, I decided if you guys wanted the newest sticker of Shitbird, so be it. I'm doing 5 different versions, each more worst than the last because quanitity is not quality or some shit like that.

    You get a signed paperback of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" plus the 4.4" wide sticker of "$3=Jealousy", because we all need to see the logic of how someone can fuck someone else over and gaslight them.

    You're welcome.

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • 4.4" "$3 equals Jealousy" Shitbird vinyl sticker.
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    Pledge US$ 39 or more About US$ 39

    GO STEADY v2

    So, a guy asks you out and wants to go steady. Then you realize he's a nut and you gotta jam his pins into his eyeballs for self-defense. It doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl. You gotta take care of yourself honey, so you do you. #selfcare You got dose darts of love! You got the "DB: Stabbed", "DB: SPERM", and the "I'm Pregnant!" pin because you are a filthy liar!

    Includes:
    • "I'm Pregnant!" Demon Bitch Hard Enamel Pin
    • 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed"
    • 2" Soft Enamel pin of "Demon Bitch Sperm"
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    Pledge US$ 40 or more About US$ 40

    BLING BLING!

    Get that necklace and pin again! Feel how it is like in a Kickstarter again! Just like the first time!

    Includes:
    • "I'm Pregnant!" Demon Bitch Hard Enamel Pin
    • 24" chain silver-plated Demon Bitch pendant
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    Pledge US$ 40 or more About US$ 40

    Denise's Choice

    This is like the critically acclaimed, 'Sophie's Choice', but you don't end up dead, so that's a relief. A special reward for "The Sapphire Directive" writer!

    So you get the 3 PDFs of that horrible cunt Demon Bitch, plus the silver-plated piece of shit necklace! That thing will last you the apocalypse.

    You'll get the PDFs right away when the check clears, but you may have to wait a little for the pendant as that's physical like Olivia Newton-John.

    Includes:
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses!"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
    • PDF of "Demon Bitch: Hellfire and Damnation"
    • 24" chain silver-plated Demon Bitch pendant
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    Pledge US$ 40 or more About US$ 40

    FUCK UR EX

    Do you fucking hate your goddamn ex? This doesn't have to be an ex boyfriend/girlfriend or even a husband/wife. This could even be your mom! Holy shit! And I made a fucking mom joke and I went there!

    So, send me a pic of your ex when the pledges go through, and I will draw Demon Bitch doing something absolutely disgusting because why the fuck not. She always is. If you want another character, go and specify that too. Make sure you email this to me as this is a fucking digital reward.

    Let me know if you want to add this to an existing reward and we will do this.

    No, enema bag requests - unless if I'm doing that to humiliate the characters. Thanks.

    Includes:
    • Photoshopping your EX out and putting DB or her "friends" in!
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    Pledge US$ 42 or more About US$ 42

    SPANK BANK v1

    You get the book. Then you get the "Demon Bitch: Stabbed" pin.

    You feel me?

    You read this at night when you are all alone.

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • 2" Soft Enamel Pin "Demon Bitch Stabbed"
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  41. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 42 or more About US$ 42

    SPANK BANK v2

    You get the signed copy of the book. Then you get the "Demon Bitch: Sperm" pin.

    Get the tissues, not the butter.

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • 2" Soft Enamel pin of "Demon Bitch Sperm"
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  42. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 45 or more About US$ 45

    READING RAINBOW WITH A TRAMP STAMP TRIO

    If I wanted to visit a tattoo parlor, I would NOT be getting tats of this fucking sticker. No way.

    You get a signed paperback of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" plus the 4" stickers of "Introduction of Shitbird" and "MY ASS! MY ASS! MY ASS!" aka "The Call of Shitbird", 4.4" wide sticker of "$3=Jealousy", because we all need to see the logic of how someone can fuck someone else over and gaslight them.

    All of these are stuffed in my little package of Hell.

    You're welcome.

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • 4.4" "$3 equals Jealousy" Shitbird vinyl sticker.
    • 4" 'Introduction of Shitbird' Vinyl Sticker
    • 4" 'MY ASS! MY ASS!' aka "The Call of Shitbird" Vinyl Sticker
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  43. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 50 or more About US$ 50

    The Double Down!

    Signed paperback books that was "DB: Alcoholics and Anonymouses (BOTH USED and VIRGIN)" and "She Sucks" sent to you anywhere in the world! Bad for your heart as fried chicken sans stabbings!

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: She Sucks"
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  44. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 50 or more About US$ 50

    LEVAR BURTON HATES ME W/ TRAMP STAMPS

    If I wanted to visit a tattoo parlor, I would NOT be getting tats of this fucking sticker. No way.

    You get a signed paperback of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses" plus the 4" stickers of "Introduction of Shitbird" and "MY ASS! MY ASS! MY ASS!" aka "The Call of Shitbird", 4.4" wide sticker of "$3=Jealousy", because we all need to see the logic of how someone can fuck someone else over and gaslight them. Oh yeah, we will be also throwing in Eunsoo Jeong's fucking awesome sticker called, "Match Made in Hell".

    The things I do for love, but I won't do that.

    Includes:
    • Paperback Copy of "Demon Bitch: Alcoholics and Anonymouses"
    • 4.4" "$3 equals Jealousy" Shitbird vinyl sticker.
    • 4" 'Introduction of Shitbird' Vinyl Sticker
    • 4" 'MY ASS! MY ASS!' aka "The Call of Shitbird" Vinyl Sticker
    • 3X3" Holographic Sticker collab with Koreangry
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