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As a parody of biblical events it will be full of satire, innuendo and outrageousness This is a book of fiction about a book of fiction

I am rewriting the description of this book because my first description wasn’t clear.

I am not a believer in much of anything the bible has to say. It may have made sense to people who only lived to be 30, couldn't read or write, who needed to believe that there was some kind of reward for living a horrible existence on this hell hole but that is no longer necessary.

I am so tired of the “believers” shoving their beliefs on me that I decided to rewrite the bible using science, common sense, absurdism, and intellectual stupidity... just as this book deserves. At least it will be a fun read... thanks.

Seventeen of the many things I will explain in the book: 

God did not create heaven and earth in six days 

Adam and Eve were hominoids (monkeys).

Lot’s wife did not turn into salt.

Noah’s ark was more of a raft than a boat and he only took his family and a few cows.

The Nile did not turn to blood. It was an algae bloom.

Joseph and Mary were gypsies and Mary was no Virgin.

Jesus did not rise into heaven... his body was stolen and eaten by Zombies.

Moses wrote the 10 commandments 

Judas was a law abiding citizen and didn't want to harbor a fugitive.

Jesus was nailed through his heels and wrist to the cross for maximum pain and suffering.

Sodom and Gomorrah were just a couple of hedonistic resort towns

Jesus was born in a barn not because the Inn was full. It was because the Inn charged money.

Hell nor the devil came into being until 300 years after Jesus died.

The star the three Magi (not wise men) followed was a comet. 

Jesus wasn't celibate.

The 13 apostles were of Middle Eastern descent and therefore not named Simon. (More generally known as Peter), Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealot, Judas Iscariot, Matthias.

Jesus spent the lost years in Persia and India.

Help me create the book that has been needed for so long. I am going to take a hiatus from my day job (writing web content) to complete this project. I have set a goal of $3,000 to offset my expenses, get a great cover and the ISBNs. Can you help?

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Anything less than a serious injury or death will not delay this project. I write on a daily bases. This project is already under way and the outline is done.

I have researched and contacted book printers and am confident they can produce the books to my satisfaction.


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