So much of my story stems from a feeling that I don't belong. Faith has never felt comfortable on me. For fear of failure or disappointment, I've always held it to some degree at an arms length of doubt away. And yet it's always been an inescapable anchor; truth found in a story that I desperately want to be true. In the Gospel of Mark, a man whose son has just been healed replies to Jesus:
"I do believe; help my unbelief."
Consistently, this feels like the truest expression of my faith.
What this album, and what I suppose most of my songs are about, is pressing into the limits of my own doubt to see if "the gospel" I claim know is real. What has given it such an imminent, new weight is the season of fatherhood. Can I look at you, my daughter, and say with sincerity that, in the moment where it feels like life has taken everything from you, that you still ought to trust in the hope that the final word will be love; a love that looks like a father running back to his child?
Yes. But perhaps you can help me with my unbelief.
I know this EP has been a long time coming. We started tracking in Dave's studio in September of 2017, and were finished with the recording phase by mid-October. But the mixing and mastering were put on hold that winter while Dave's family dealt with serious health issues.
In December, we welcomed our daughter Sophie into the world.
Then in the summer of 2018, with Dave's family on the mend and with our feet somewhat under us as parents, we were ready to begin mixing and mastering.
The record was officially finished in October of 2018, but in the midst of full-time ministry and our daughter's first year, the copyrighting, artwork, advertising, merchandise, printing, scheduling, and other work that goes into actually releasing a record had to be postponed.
That brings us to 2019. The first half of this year has been a continual exercise of finding time in the margins to bring this record fully to life. With so much time between recording and release, I decided this spring to breathe some new life into the project with a single.
"Always Be" is certainly thematically connected to the EP, but I wanted it to be distinct because of who it's for. Pessimistically, I wanted to capture this song over any other in a way that I could be proud of and that Sophie could keep even after I'm gone.
I could not have done any of this without the help of several people, including my wife Caroline for her design work and constant encouragement throughout the process, Frank Harvey for his work on design and merchandise, Sawyer Macres for videography, Tina Rhea and Becky Hostetler for their help in facilitating the release show, Tyler Cuchiara for his other-worldly drum skills, and of course Dave Wilton for not only bringing his unique sonic expertise, but a true emotional and spiritual understanding of the heart behind the songs.
I'm incredibly thankful and proud to share all the work we've done.
Where Your Money Is Going
This campaign is not about making a profit. It's entirely dedicated to recouping a small portion of the cost of the recording process, plus the costs associated with copyrighting, streaming, advertising, and merchandise production. Anything over and above what is asked for will be put toward more music and media for you to enjoy and share. I am incredibly grateful for your generosity.
Reward Level Samples
Risks and challenges
The album is finished. The single is well under way. There's not much risk of failure here. Hopefully that gives you some confidence :)Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (30 days)