You’ve played the best, now conquer the WORST! Enter the Flaming Deathpits of the Minotaur Mage! An official DUNGEON BASTARD adventure!
We are FUNDED and TAKING ON stretch goals like a dwarf in a bar fight takes on a dozen drunken hobgoblins! We just unlocked The Genius Guide to the Godling and BATTLE MUSIC FOR BASTARDS!
We're in the FINAL HOURS and there are still some terrific backing options available:
*** Pledge at the $250 level and you could PLAY in the World's Worst Dungeon Crawl at Gen Con! ***
*** There's still ONE $350 pledge available out there. NAME A PC plus all the $250 level rewards! ***
*** Pledge at the $150 level and you might become the game's OFFICIAL DICE FLUFFER! ***
*** We will be making ADD-ONs available AFTER the campaign! ***
New Reward Reference Chart
We have a great set of rewards for backers. To help you break it down we've put together this handy reference chart.
Hey gamers, over the years I’ve given advice to thousands of players on how to KICK ASS (play a dwarf!) TAKE NAMES (inscribe them on your axe) and CRUSH DUNGEONS IN STYLE (hint: SWEATBANDS) but I’ve largely neglected to help those unfortunate souls sitting on the OTHER side of the screen – the DM.
Because being the DM is EASY. You just read some boring boxed text and send a couple of goblins into the room. A SECOND-GRADER COULD DO IT.
Some of my critics disagree. “EASY?” they say, as globules of rage fly across the room. “You think running an inventive, engaging, BADASS RPG adventure is EASY?”
That’s right. And I’m going to PROVE it by taking the World’s WORST Dungeon Crawl and making it AWESOME.
Based on decades of RPG experience, I’ve culled together the most odious PCs, plots, and encounters and built a Frankenstein’s MONSTER of BADASSITUDE. It’s called Flaming Deathpits of the Minotaur Mage: Descent into Doomfire! It has a hackneyed “Save the Princess” plot. It has pyromancer named “Steve.” It has ROLE-PLAYING.
Yeah, you’re right: it sounds like a total train wreck. And I’m going to climb that train, stoke its engines with 200cc’s of pure, undiluted DUNGEON BASTARD GUSTO and CRASH that thing directly into the BIGGEST, most NOTORIOUS gaming convention of them all: GEN CON 2013.
That’s right — I don’t do things HALFWAY, gamers. If I’m going to prove how easy it is to take the World’s Worst Dungeon Crawl and make it TOTALLY AWESOME, I’m going to do it LIVE, in-person, before a crowd of the world’s most hard-core gamers.
I hope to present this “masterpiece” of fantasy adventure not only as a published RPG adventure for you to enjoy with your fellow gamers, but also as a live event at GEN CON immortalized on video to help motivate and inspire your PERSONAL gaming group. Your contributions help create, publish and host the game and document it in the polished, professional style you’ve come to expect from the Dungeon Bastard. The result should be a lot more fun than “The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl” HAS ANY RIGHT TO BE.
The stretch goals continue to tumble like a half-elven thief in a cavern full of storm giants! Here's a snapshot of what we have so far:
- Play Dirty compendium of game mastering advice by John Wick
- The ENnie award-winning adventure Pleasure Prison of the B'thuvian Demon Whore from Expeditious Retreat Press.
- Bill Cavalier's Libram of Ineffable BASTARDLINESS. A collection of the Dungeon Bastard's finest wit, wisdom, and advice as seen on the series as well as Facebook & Twitter.
- JUST UNLOCKED: The Genius Guide to the Godling by Super Genius Games for all backers $25 and up!
We're also upgrading the cover and interior art on the World's Worst Dungeon Crawl PDF to full-color.
Backers pledging $50 or more will receive:
- TWO commentary tracks added to their physical DVD - one track by Bill and one behind-the-scenes creator commentary by writer and lead Tom Lommel.
- Bill Cavalier's BASTARDLY BATTLE CRIES: twenty individual MP3 tracks you can load on your smartphone and use to berate your DM whenever the game starts to suck or, conversely, YOU are particularly AWESOME (i.e. ALL THE TIME).
- Fat Dragon Games Copper Dragon Starter Bundle: a set of high-quality 2D printable terrain for your table top. This set INCLUDES Basic Caverns 1 & 2, Basic Dungeons 1 & 2, and Dungeon Perils!
- JUST UNLOCKED: BATTLE MUSIC FOR BASTARDS! Ten ORIGINAL tracks designed to INSPIRE YOUR GAME, directly from the talented hands of Mark Frey, who does ALL of our composing and arrangements for the series -- including the theme song!
Here's a preliminary sample track from BATTLE MUSIC FOR BASTARDS entitled Crossing the Bridge of the Dark Gnome Necromancer
We've also promised a Colin McComb VIDEO SMACKDOWN, a BADASS DUNGEON CRUSHER credit for backers $100+ and dedicated funding for 6 more months of Dungeon Bastard! In addition, the BACKERS will VOTE to put the slogan of THEIR CHOICE on Bill's shirt during the live event.
Here's just a SAMPLING of the rewards you're getting at the $100 level:
NEXT UP AT $30,000 we unsheath THE VORPAL SWORD!
At this level:
- Everyone backing at $50+ will receive Fat Dragon Games E-Z Dungeons DELUXE EDITION. Over 155 megs of dungeon terrain, tiles, traps, treasures and other items to dress up your game table!
- Backers at $100+ will receive a personalized MP3 audio eulogy mourning the (clearly UNFAIR) death of your PC or a full-on Dungeon Bastard haranguing mocking your DM for his inability to KILL YOUR CHARACTER.
Also, Bill will go mano-a-jerko with John Wick in a NO HOLDS BARRED wizard duel at Gen Con 2013. If you saw what the Bastard did to Monte Cook LAST year, you know that did not end well.
Here's the current stretch list:
What people are saying about my adventure
"I have every confidence that this will be absolutely the most terrible, awful dungeon crawl, ever." ~Monte Cook
"Whoever said playing roleplaying games won't turn you into a Satanist hasn't played D&D with the Dungeon Bastard." ~Kenneth Hite
"Just when you thought he couldn't get any lower, the Dungeon Bastard takes out his +5 Pick of Sucking and starts digging." ~John Wick
"So bad it will have the PCs falling on their swords and the players taking a battering ram to the exit door - which will be chained of course because that's the only way the Bastard will manage to get a group seated at the table." ~Jolly Blackburn
"Black holes don't suck this much. This thing whips out a +5 Vorpal Blade of Awful and slices open a Sphere of Fun Annihilation in the hope of ending its own pathetic universe in a suicidal implosion of stupid — and naturally fumbles at that." ~Matt Forbeck
~Sean K Reynolds
These guys are DICKS. ~Bill Cavalier
As you see to the right we offer some pretty cool rewards. In addition to the adventure itself and copy of the live Gen Con Indy 2013 event, we have Dungeon Bastard exclusive products like sweatbands and t-shirts and other in-game products with the help of our friends at Dragon Chow Dice Bags, Fat Dragon Games, and Super Genius Games.
By contributing to this campaign, not only will you benefit from my ultimate gaming wisdom, you'll receive a BADASS combination of gaming gear that will take your next gaming experience to a whole new level of awesome. For instance:
- You or your PC's name on my IMMORTAL WALL OF HEROES!
- An HD video download of The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl event (with special content and intro by Bill Cavalier, exclusive to Kickstarter backers*)
- B&W PDF of The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl ADVENTURE (with special intro by Stan!)
- A Dungeon Bastard exclusive! PDF download of The Genius Guide to Horrifically Overpowered Feats from Super Genius Games.
- ENnie award-wining PDF adventure Pleasure Prison of the B'thuvian Demon Whore based on the cult hit Fear of Girls.
- Play Dirty a collection of gaming advice from the DIRTIEST Game Master around, John Wick!
- The Genius Guide to the Godling from Super Genius Games!
- Bill Cavalier's Libram of Ineffable BASTARDLINESS a collection of the Dungeon Bastard's finest, most popular gaming wisdom and quotes from Facebook, Twitter, and the series.
- Physical DVD of The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl event (with special content and intro by Bill Cavalier, exclusive to Kickstarter backers)
- Custom sweat/wristbands (2-pieces) that say “LAWFUL” on the left arm and “BADASS” on the right arm.
- Dungeon Bastard Ultimate Dice Tower PDF (from Fat Dragon Games).
- Bill Cavalier will follow you on Twitter for 1 year, where you will serve as his special FIELD RESEARCH AMBASSADORS FOR MAXIMUM BADASSERY.
- HALF-ELF THIEF rewards.
- BONUS: Not one, but TWO commentary tracks added to their physical DVD - one track by Bill and one behind-the-scenes creator commentary by writer and lead Tom Lommel.
- BONUS: Bill Cavalier's BASTARDLY BATTLE CRIES: twenty individual MP3 tracks you can load on your smartphone and use to berate your DM whenever the game starts to suck or, conversely, YOU are particularly AWESOME (i.e. ALL THE TIME).
- BONUS: Fat Dragon Games Copper Dragon Starter Bundle: a set of high-quality 2D printable terrain for your table top. This set INCLUDES Basic Caverns 1 & 2, Basic Dungeons 1 & 2, and Dungeon Perils!
- BONUS: BATTLE MUSIC FOR BASTARDS! Ten ORIGINAL tracks designed to INSPIRE YOUR GAME, directly from the talented hands of Mark Frey, who does ALL of our composing and arrangements for the series -- including the theme song!
- B&W printed copy of "The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl" adventure book.
- Set of 3 Bill Cavalier POWER GAMER d6s (always roll a 6!).
- Official Badass Dungeon Crushers' Association membership card.
- Badass Dungeon Crushers Association window cling.
- HALF-ORC FIGHTER rewards.
Risks and challenges Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
What’s going to make this the World’s WORST Dungeon Crawl? Let’s start with experience: I’ve been playing RPGs since I was 14. I’ve been attending GEN CON since its Milwaukee debut. That’s A LOT of gaming. I’ve playtested rules systems, written “dungeon duel”-style Con events, and helped host NASCRAG – the longest-running independent RPG tournament at GEN CON. I know what works, what doesn’t work, and what doesn’t even qualify for unemployment.
Second, I know a dirty secret regular RPG authors would NEVER tell you: your game can be fun DESPITE the scripted adventure. That’s my goal here. To take a trite premise and a hackneyed plot and prove that NONE OF THAT MATTERS when you game THE DUNGEON BASTARD WAY.
Finally, there’s the reflexively amplifying nature of trying to create the World’s WORST Dungeon Crawl: anything that goes wrong inherently makes the adventure EVEN WORSE. You've heard of a "WIN-WIN"? This is a FAIL-FAIL-WIN!
That’s not to say I’m deliberately trying to tank this thing. On the contrary, I take pride in delivering a QUALITY PRODUCT – whether that’s the written adventure or the final video of the live event. I’ve worked with professionals in the field, and I share their professional standards.
I have the experience, equipment, and team in place to make the World’s WORST Dungeon Crawl TRULY AWESOME. Anything can happen when you roll the dice, but the results are stacked when you’re carrying a +5 long sword.
Gamers, to truly make this the World's WORST Dungeon Crawl, you have to use HOMEBREW rules. That being said, if you've played any variation of the world's most popular fantasy roleplaying game, you should find it fairly straightforward to use this adventure.
The final product will be the standard 32 pages. This includes adventure background, detailed characters, artwork, encounters, tips on running the game the DUNGEON BASTARD way, and more.
This is a REAL ADVENTURE. Yeah, it's got halflings with goofy names (NOTE: REDUNDANT) and the plot is COMPLETELY predictable, but the intent is to make a dungeon crawl so over-the-top cliched, it blows the hinges off the Secret Door of Suckitude and drops you down a sliding chute to the Treasure Chamber of Awesome. So trust me, you won't find a Star Trek room or a bunch of Justin Bieber references. I may be the Dungeon Bastard, but even I wouldn't do that to you.
The con schedule is still pending approval, but we are targeting Sunday morning from 10am to 1pm. YEAH, I EXPECT YOU TO GET OUT OF BED AND SHOWER.
This will be a single table with six players. We will randomly select some of our elite backers at the $250 MAXOTAUR level to join the game. However if you pledge at the CHROMATIC DRAGON level ($500) you are guaranteed a seat in the game.
Yes it will -- we want a crowd there. HOWEVER, seating may be limited because WE WANT A CROWD THERE. Therefore if you pledge at the $150 Dwarven Paladin level we will guarantee you entrance to the event and at the MAXOTAUR level ($250) we give you a ringside seat.