Funding Suspended Funding for this project was suspended on August 13, 2013.
Photo-main

Blurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurb.

Thank you for the research data.

Naysayers really ought to lighten up, especially when they can't tell what is and isn't satire. Play it safe next time and keep quiet. If you gave constructive critique, good on you for being helpful to people. To the people who thought the project could go places, well, perhaps it should be a real project some day. The concept was real, and used for authenticity. A concept created to ridicule would not be as subtle as a legitimate concept with an obnoxious and amateurish pitch. Maybe it's better to lead by example with quality work than to humorously critique, but there's time for that later. This was faster.

There's a few other things to address. This stuff actually flustered some people. Fantastic.

Anonl, burning money is illegal. Besides, you already seem to have a predisposition to it at your site. Did you know you could do garbage collecting as an actual job and not just a hobby? It pays pretty well. You'd have more money to burn.

Oh, and guy who tells people to go back to English 101 because they missed ellipsis spaces? It's "self-deprecating", not depreciating. I'm not a car. English 101, indeed.

On the topic of "successful visual novel Kickstarters", the problem which, at least in part, precipitated this project as a response: wow. Why are these given money exactly? Poorly drawn pseudo-anime character art is apparently what the doctor ordered.  

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/758714218/driftwood-the-visual-novel

Someone called this professional. You were trying to help, but please no. Kids, if you're gonna learn a lesson from Driftwood, it should be what NOT to do. Here's a project started by a guy with a hilariously Wapanese handle who looks like he didn't just shop at the Broheim Boutique, but intends to major in Douchebag Hipster Fashion at #SWAG #YOLO University. The fusion of the frat/hipster/Abe Lincoln look is simply unparalleled. The art is, let's say, slightly poor, which means it's about 9/10 pretty good by EVN standards. What really gets me is that the only screenshot uses a photo as the background. It's not even filtered. At least pretend to care. The top reward tier is the guy's Katawa Shoujo sweatshirt. I won't get into the taste implications of that, but thankfully nobody ordered a used sweatshirt for $750. Also, does anybody know how to read? The story is not just SET on Martha's Vineyard, the guy is FROM Martha's Vineyard. Do you not know where that is? It's where rich people live, dingus.  

"Martha's Vineyard is an island located south of Cape Cod in Massachusetts, known for being an affluent summer colony." Go look up affluent in the dictionary right now, little buddy.

"A study by the Martha's Vineyard Commission found that the cost of living on the island is 60 percent higher than the national average and housing prices are 96 percent higher. A study of housing needs by the Commission found that the average weekly wage on Martha's Vineyard was “71 per cent of the state average, the median home price was 54 per cent above the state’s and the median rent exceeded the state’s by 17 per cent.”"

Oh, wait, all those donations were probably just his from neighbours.  

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/851478113/errant-heart-a-visual-novel

This is more professional. It's still questionably drawn pseudo-anime, and the coloring needs work, but it's more professional. Is that really a compliment though, looking more professional than Driftwood? A four-year-old in a business suit could handle that.

We're stunned by the amount of people who don't know how budgeting works. We purposely picked a number higher than others, but not ridiculously so. 100k would've been too obvious, for example. That said, and people later discussed it as being entirely feasible, 15k is not much for creating and commissioning professional grade work. 15k might be too much for this farce, but not for visual novel projects in general. Be considerate if the work is good. Oh right, there's a fat fucking example of something that asked for five thousand more than that to start and got nearly 300,000 dollars.  

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/fredrin/megatokyo-visual-novel-game

Well shit, I'd better go back in time a decade or so and start a crappy webcomic so when I get back to the present day, I have a fanbase of people who don't know how to grow up and let go of shitty things they were exposed to as a 13 year old. Put down the Linkin Park CD, homie.  

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/obscurasoft/coming-out-on-top-a-gay-dating-sim-video-game

This was another example of how to do things correctly. Fair enough, but let's get one thing straight (pffft), it's successful because it's catering to homosexuals. There are not many games (oh wait, VN, "games") specifically for gay people, although give it a bit and probably every game EA makes will be.

Here's the worst thing you'll ever see though.  

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/gender-bender-dna-twister-extreme

27.6k. Are you fucking shitting me? I'm struggling to find words. That is the power of pandering. You can pre-order it on Desura for 24.99 though! That's real cute, you mentally deficient toddlers.  

So with those two you got the G and T out of LGBT. Looks like I've just found the real ticket to success. I won't just go back in time and make a webcomic, it'll be for lesbians and bisexuals. Come 2013 I'll run a Kickstarter for a visual novel. Maybe I'll throw in some feminist stuff for appeal. I look forward to my Scrooge McDuck money pool and being able to pay Bill Gates to shine my shoes.

So, we might do this right instead of joking around in the future. Don't wait up though because it wouldn't be for money, so it's not a priority. VNs are hardly lucrative. Then again, it's not exactly difficult to outclass the typical genre fare. If you're not making low-budget porn, poorly written tripe that can't hang with real big boy books, or just cliche weeaboo fodder, you might actually make a VN worth reading. We might visit you on that lofty peak sometime.

Risks and challenges Learn about accountability on Kickstarter

Actually, I've already been kidnapped by the ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue me?

FAQ

6
Backers
$86.00
pledged of $15,000 goal
1349728859605.medium
  • First created · 0 backed
  • Has not connected Facebook

See full bio

  • Pledge $1 or more
    You selected

    1 backer

    Digital Handshake ― Through patented "Digital Handshake" technology, a handshake will be sent through the intertubes straight to you! Results may be unstable. Don't blame me if you're asleep when it's delivered. (if you dreamt about shaking a hand, that was totally it though).

    Estimated delivery:
  • Pledge $15 or more
    You selected

    4 backers

    Standard - Digital ― You get a digital copy of the game. You'll receive a Steam key as well, if the project has enough votes on Greenlight.

    Estimated delivery:
  • Pledge $25 or more
    You selected

    1 backer

    Standard - Physical ― In this tier, you'll get a boxed copy of the game (still retains digital download and Steam key, if available) with an additional digital soundtrack.

    Estimated delivery:
    Add $5 USD to ship outside the US
  • Pledge $50 or more
    You selected

    0 backers

    Special Edition - Physical ― For this tier, you get a bigger box. Oh, and inside it will be a soundtrack CD and a small poster.

    Estimated delivery:
    Add $10 USD to ship outside the US
  • Pledge $100 or more
    You selected

    0 backers

    Super Special Masked Rider x Masked Rider Zero: Birth of Ferbus Movie War Core II' XX #Reload Accent Core Plus R Champion Hyper Turbo Alpha EX R1 Neo Howling Blood Unlimited MAX 64 Advance Edition ― It's super special. When it's delivered, you can tell it "that's why you are here with me."

    Estimated delivery:
    Add $10 USD to ship outside the US
  • Pledge $250 or more
    You selected

    0 backers

    The Black Hound - Bestial ― Fear the game's TRUE FORM. It is also FINAL and ULTIMATE. ― The Bestial edition comes with: ◘ Soundtrack CD ◘ Large Poster ◘ Character Cards ◘ Keychain ◘ T-Shirt ◘ Black Hound themed thank-you card ◘ ...and, most importantly, a hard-bound bestiary containing not only creature concepts and descriptions, but also detailed explanations of all magically related systems in the setting. The book is added to this reward only once we've reached the $25,000 stretch goal, so please spread the word about this game that sounds like something you'd want! Actually, just spread the word even if you don't want it.

    Estimated delivery:
    Add $10 USD to ship outside the US
  • Pledge $10,000 or more
    You selected

    0 backers

    MYSTERY BOX ― It's a mystery box. You know you want the mystery box. Inside might even be a mystery box! I can only promise that inside is not a tiny Peter Molyneux.

    Estimated delivery:
Funding period

- (30 days)