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£192
pledged of £300pledged of £300 goal
14
backers
6days to go

All or nothing. This project will only be funded if it reaches its goal by Sat, July 27 2019 8:30 PM UTC +00:00.

£192
pledged of £300pledged of £300 goal
14
backers
6days to go

All or nothing. This project will only be funded if it reaches its goal by Sat, July 27 2019 8:30 PM UTC +00:00.

About


For years, we ran Edfest with absolutely no money. Nobody paid to get in, nobody gets paid to play and nobody gets paid to work. This was always the dream, to have an old-style free festival where all are welcome and wealth is unimportant.  

However, we can't get any better like this.  

Since it's inception, Edfest has gone from strength to strength. From it's half-arsed disorganized beginnings, Edfest has become a three-quarter-arsed semi-organized celebration of the weird and the wonderful. Last year, there were three stages with around twelve hours of music each, comedy, workshops, interactive areas, a cinema, a bar, toilets and a motherfucking airshow. 

   Let's get one thing straight: I do not aim to make any profit from this. It is, at the end of the day, a slightly out-of-control party in my back garden. However, I do want it to be the best out-of-control party anyone has ever been to, and I want to keep on doing it. There is only so long I can keep asking bands to play out of the goodness of their (surprisingly large) hearts, and there is only so much debt I can plunge myself into. So I'm asking for your help. Well actually, I'm asking for about £5. Five pounds. That's it. Going by the amount of acts we have confirmed for this year, that's 20p per performance. That seems like a fair price to me - but money shouldn't be a barrier. If you can't pay, don't pay. No one will refuse you entrance. There will be donation buckets at the event for those who fail to get an advance ticket, but again - if you can't pay, don't worry. 

With this money, we can start paying the bands - at the very least for their expenses - we can hire portaloos, we can make the interactive areas bigger and better. We can invest in more outdoor lighting, an actual sound engineer, a bar. 

 Or at least buy the bands some fucking beer. 

 So please, if you think five quid is a good swap for seven past festivals and many more to come, then help me out and together we can make a brighter future. Sorry, Edfest. I meant a brighter Edfest. Or buy a T-Shirt, poster or any of the other gunk and you'll have the triple pleasure of creating a better night out for yourself, validating my stupid life choices and being able to brag to your children in the future when festivals have died out and fun is illegal. 

 Cheers, Ed



Risks and challenges

Essentially, Edfest will continue to some level with or without funding, but with your help we can make it better, in direct proportion to how much money is raised. Our first priority is to recompense the bands, then to bring the event up to festival status by investing in portaloos and lighting rigs. After that, we can start turning Edfest into a world of it's own, with interactive areas, decoration and activities. A swimming pool, projectors etc.
Basically, if you donate raise fuck-all, I will use it to buy the bands some drinks. if you donate fuck-tons, I will use it to create the best event since Fyre Festival..

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  1. Make a pledge without a reward

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    Pledge £5 or more About $6

    Ticket

    Splish Splash! Come in, the water's lovely! Honestly, it's fine when you're in. Five pounds gets you a lovely wristband and guaranteed entry to the best festival this side of the seven seas.

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    Pledge £8 or more About $10

    Poster

    A beautiful copy of the art from this year's festival, lovingly printed with squidink onto a scarred, rotting flap of whale skin. Or maybe just regular paper. We'll see.

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    Pledge £10 or more About $13

    Sunglasses

    Need to protect your eyes whilst staring into the incandescent beauty of Ed? Want to look your best whilst sunning on the beach? These 'designer' sunglasses are perfect for every occasion, although if you wear them indoors you're still a cunt.

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    Pledge £12 or more About $15

    Lighter

    The perfect implement for sparking the fuse on your cannon, or simply lighting up a huge pipe-bowl of whitby shag.

    NB. does not work underwater.

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    • Lighter
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    Pledge £15 or more About $19

    Leather Wallet

    The perfect place to stow your hidden treasure. Tired of your ill-gotten gains slipping overboard every time you veer starboard? This beautifully inscribed wallet will keep your doubloons out of harm's way.

    Includes:
    • Wallet
    • Ticket
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    Pledge £20 or more About $25

    T-Shirt

    Embarrassed in the pool? Afraid of people seeing your bare skin? Hide your disgusting body with this stylishly designed garment. Honestly, people will just think it's a fashion choice, rather than a pathetic attempt to hide your shame.

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    About $25
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    Pledge £25 or more About $31

    Face Tattoo

    For £25, the lead singer of The Seminal Fluids will have your name temporarily tattooed onto his chest, displaying it for the whole crowd to see during the set. For £50, he'll get your face as well. We haven't told him about this yet.

    Includes:
    • Ticket
    • Humiliation
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    About $31
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    Pledge £30 or more About $38

    Mermaid Tail

    For the cheap cheap price of £30 you can own a piece of cinema history. That's right, the actual mermaid tail worn by Ed in the trailer for this year's festival. Do with it what you will, we won't judge.

    Includes:
    • Ticket
    • Mermaid Tail
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    About $38
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    Pledge £55 or more About $69

    The Treasure Trove Bundle

    All of the merch from this year's festival all together in one handy chest. Perfect for making a shrine to Ed or just increasing your swag score by 300%.

    Includes:
    • Ticket
    • T-Shirt
    • Sunglasses
    • Poster
    • Lighter
    • Button Badges
    • Wallet
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    Pledge £100 or more About $125

    Entire Seminal Fluids set dedication

    The Seminal Fluids will perform their entire set focused entirely to you. Every song will be dedicated to you, we will thank you repeatedly for your support. You will get a prime spot in the audience and we will lock eyes with you throughout the songs. We might even force you to come up on stage and take a bow.

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    • Ticket
    • Humiliation
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    Pledge £350 or more About $439

    Ed & Jake get a genuine Edfest Tattoo

    If you (or you and a group of mates) manage to raise enough money, Ed and Jake will both get an Edfest tattoo. Neither have had a tattoo before and one will have to suffer the humiliation of having his own name tattooed on him whilst the other has to suffer the arguably worse indignity of having his egotistical mate's name tattooed on him.

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    Pledge £1,000 or more About $1,255

    Send Ed to China

    One for the haters - if you're sick and tired of Ed bollocking on about this shit for six months of the year then pay a fat grand and he promises to fuck of to China for (at least) a year. No Ed, no Edfest. Simple as that.

    Includes:
    • Ticket
    • Sending Ed to China
    • T-Shirt
    • Sunglasses
    • Poster
    • Lighter
    • Button Badges
    • Humiliation
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    Limited (1 left of 1) 0 backers
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    About $1,255
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