The MOST IMPORTANT UPDATED you will EVER read
Good morning. We awoke to see the following comments... ones that echo so many we have seen before:
There should be no shame. Feel no remorse. This morning you woke up only seeking to find solace in the confounds of a crowd funding world. Like some nearly 900 others before you, you each made a pledge likely on some kind of whim... perhaps, even on some kind of self-inflicted dare.
Amusement. Outrage. Remorse.
For some they come in that order. For others they are acceding. For a handful, those emotions are stacked one upon the other like a conflicting club sandwich of sentiment served with a dill passion spear and a side of french fried culpability.
Perhaps that is because our first and understandable reaction is to view Endangered Orphans, like one online reviewer, as a game of self-preservation or even of malice towards our fellow Game Enthusiasts, presented metaphorically via Jesse's illustrated allegories of oppressed underdogs.
But those emotions would be misplaced. That assumption ill gotten. In fact, Condyle Cove is not a battleground of gratuitous gain. The hills, alleys, creeks and towns of the Cove are not cesspools of self-interests*.
The fact of the matter is the options thrust upon each of you while playing Endangered Orphans will provide equal opportunity for backers to rise to the aid of these Orphans just as much as the occasion to shove them from a cliff or drive them to Kiddie Corner where the jowls of sorrow and madness wait agape in the face of the Boogeyman.
No matter what our original motivation... no matter what joy or humor we may find in the dark and quirky presentation of this campaign, the Boogeyman can not cast the shadows of shame upon us when we stand united in the light of laughter and the neon glow of gaming brother and sisterhood. And together we are sending a clear message: We are, each and every one of us, anti-eating-Orphans. If eating Orphans is not wrong, then nothing is wrong.
And though we are on the precipice of the dreaded Kickstarter Valley... though backing has slowed and funding has leveled out... well, backers... we haven't a thing to say. Played a great campaign...all of you. But we're going to tell you something now we've kept to ourselves for years -- None of you ever knew our original model for the Orphans. His name was Skippy.
We'll never forget the last thing he said to us one winter before he/she vanished from our lives.
"Certifiable sirs" it said "sometime, when the Kickstarter community is down -- and the stretch goals seem insurmountable - tell them to jump on twitter and facebook and whatever social media has been invented at the time and have them tell their friends with expendable income and a credit card to dig in deep and spend some for the Skipster."
So join us in feeling not shame... but pride in what we create here together! And should we surpass our goals, this Kickstarter campaign will no longer be be known as Certifiable's campaign... but as the campaign where the world wide web declared in one voice: We will not go quietly into the comments section! We will not click away without a pledge! We’re going to contribute! We’re going to push on!
Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Secret Hitler, of Scythe, our family! We see in your eyes the same conflict that would take the heart of us. A day may come when the courage of Kickstarter fails, when we forsake these Orphans and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not these next 40 days!
Don't cry for us Crowdfunders... the truth is, the Orphans never left you! Oh, yes, we can make it now... the pain is gone! All of the bad feelings have disappeared!!!
So do not simply read this post and move on in doubt... Hold your head up high. Copy paste the link to this campaign. Send it on to any and all friends you may have... find a co-worker who left Facebook open on their computer and send it to their friends!
And the moment anyone says "I'm not sure Endangered Orphans for me... " You look them right in the text message... and you reply to them:
"Endangered Orphans is for all of us."
Thank you, dear friends. And may Orphans bless us all!
-Opie, Rick & Jesse
(you may stop the Youtube video. Or don't. It's a free internet.)