Project image
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$1,164
pledged of $500pledged of $500 goal
58
backers
5days to go

All or nothing. This project will only be funded if it reaches its goal by Fri, March 29 2019 2:00 AM UTC +00:00.

Carina MagyarBy Carina Magyar
First created
Carina MagyarBy Carina Magyar
First created
$1,164
pledged of $500pledged of $500 goal
58
backers
5days to go

All or nothing. This project will only be funded if it reaches its goal by Fri, March 29 2019 2:00 AM UTC +00:00.

About

UPDATE: Stretch goal #1

This is amazing that it funded so quickly. To celebrate, I'm going to do what I thought I couldn't afford to do: Throw a party. What kind of party? That depends on how well we do with this stretch goal. If we can raise an additional $1,000 by the end of this Kickstarter, I promise it will be party with the following ingredients:

1) A major venue in downtown Austin that doesn't usually host standup.

2) New material from me and several other amazing comedians.

3) A live band to close it out.

That version of a party will have a cover charge ... for everyone except you, the backers.

NOW, I'm on the up-and-up, so if we don't make it to $1,000, there will still be a party, just a smaller one that's private, and only you, the backers, will know when and where it is. It will still feature comedy sets. It will still be a good time. So there's no risk, only reward here. 

Let's crowdfund this party, y'all!

I'll be honest, this is going to happen no matter what.

The recording happened last summer. We're in the final stages of editing. I already have a wonderful label and distributor. A release date has been set for this very month.

So why am I doing a Kickstarter?

Because I've noticed something about you people. You'd rather give money to people who haven't done something yet than buy something someone's already made. When did this happen? Why did this happen? How did this happen? I'm sure there's articles on Medium about that. I'm not here to solve human psychology. I'm here to make money on a project I'm proud of.

But wait! Come back. This ain't no scam. There are real benefits and real rewards for participating in this Kickstarter. (There is also one fake reward. Haha, comedy!) And, let's be honest, I'm counting on your support to help with some of that, what's it called? Marketing. 

Marketing yourself sucks. Try it sometime! Okay, some people are very good at it. I am NOT. I love talking about myself ... but only if it's negative. So that's where you, the Millennials, come in. I need your Kickstarter support to show the world just how desperately it needs a Carina Magyar comedy album. And I'll "pay" you each approximately $1 to do that.

Who is this project for? I'm glad you asked!

  • Friends who were going to buy the album anyway and want to save a dollar.
  • Strangers who are loose and free with their money.
  • Enemies who want to make me suffer.
  • Family members who are prone to feelings of guilt.
  • Other adults.

BUT CARINA. You literally perform all the time for free. Why would I buy an album of those jokes? Well, hypothetical person, because these jokes on this album are RETIRED, never to be heard again. (Most of them, anyway.) What a piece of digital history! 

Like any Kickstarter, nothing will happen if we don't meet the modest goal that basically just covers the out-of-pocket expenses of making the album. So really, it's more like a Groupon. Remember those? Remember when they were good? Let's recapture some of that Vintage Groupon Magic, all you '90s kids, and together we'll make the world a better place.

Thank you and I love you.

Risks and challenges

The main risk here is that my ego will be crushed from being unable to pre-sell enough copies to cover the cost of making it in the first place. I will cry and cry. But if this Kickstarter succeeds, you will definitely be guaranteed to get a download on March 29th. The other rewards, meh, I guess I could get lazy and not do them, but that doesn't sound like me, does it? DOES IT?

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Questions about this project? Check out the FAQ

Support

  1. Make a pledge without a reward

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  2. Select this reward

    Pledge $9 or more About $9

    JUST GET IT

    Get an email on the day of release (March 29th) with a digital download code at a discounted price. (Album will be $10 on day of release.)

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
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    Pledge $9 or more About $9

    GO TO IT

    STRETCH GOAL: We're throwing a surprise launch party! The size and nature of that party will depend on the level of funding we get, but if it's a small private party, you'll be invited! And if it's a huge, blowout party at a cool venue, you'll get free admission! Either way, there will be performances by me (doing non-album material) and as many of my amazing comedian friends as I can talk into it. IF YOU DONATE AT ANY LEVEL ABOVE THIS ONE, THE PARTY REWARD IS INCLUDED.

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • Free launch party invitation / admission
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  4. Select this reward

    Pledge $15 or more About $15

    WORK FOR IT

    Get a discounted album AND a jukebox story on the one- or two-word prompt of your choosing. (Jukebox Stories are short fictional pieces generated around your prompt. For examples, see my site at carinamagyar.com.)

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • Jukebox Story on a one- or two-word prompt you choose.
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  5. Select this reward

    Pledge $20 or more About $20

    READ IT AND WEEP

    I will read any joke you submit, to the best of my ability, on stage at the launch party. Could be a joke you wrote, could be one you found in an old Playboy, could be a Carlos Mencia joke that he stole from someone else.

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • Free launch party invitation / admission
    • I'll read your joke on stage at the launch party.
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  6. Select this reward

    Pledge $30 or more About $30

    STEP TO IT

    Digital download PLUS I'll buy your next two tickets to "Live at Coldtowne" shows you want to attend. (Tickets are normally $12 at the door, so this is a $24 value by itself.)

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • Tickets to Live at Coldtowne
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    Limited (6 left of 10) 4 backers
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  7. Select this reward

    Pledge $35 or more About $35

    CROSS-PROMOTION MAYHEM

    In addition to the album, you'll also get a copy of the children's book I co-wrote, "For the Kingdom," aimed at elementary school kids and those who still wish they were. See forthekingdombook.com for details. I'll pay for shipping.

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • Free launch party invitation / admission
    • Copy of "For the Kingdom" shipped free.
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    3 backers
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  8. Select this reward

    Pledge $500 or more About $500

    LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

    Not in Austin? Want to see me perform? I will come to you anywhere in the 48 contiguous states (sorry Canada, still working on my passport) and give you a full show (up to an hour long) in the venue of your choosing / control. You'll also get several other non-local awards and a special thank you on the album download page as my "international booking manager."

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • Jukebox Story on a one- or two-word prompt you choose.
    • I'll read your joke on stage at the launch party.
    • Copy of "For the Kingdom" shipped free.
    • Free 30-60 minute performance in a US venue of your choosing.
    • Listing as International Booking Manager.
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    Limited (1 left of 1) 0 backers
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    Pledge $5,000 or more About $5,000

    OWN IT FOREVER

    Digital download PLUS you get to name my next child. (I'm very sterile. This is a joke award. This is just you choosing to give me $5,000.)

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • Human child naming rights in perpetuity
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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    TALK ABOUT IT

    Be a guest on "Thanks, Academy!" That means you'll sit and watch one of Oscar's Best Picture winners at my home, and I'll record our reactions to it. Sorry, no Skype option, this has to be in Austin. Recording will be on a convenient weeknight in April or May.

    Includes:
    • Be a guest on the "Thanks, Academy!" podcast
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • Free launch party invitation / admission
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    Pledge $60 or more About $60

    BE ABOUT IT

    Digital download PLUS I'll name one of the tracks after you. That's right, a track on the album will be just your name. I'll pick the track, but it will be a good one with a complete joke on it, no funny business with hidden tracks or 2 seconds of silence. You're gonna have to hustle on this one, though. Track names are locked early.

    Includes:
    • Digital download code on March 29th.
    • A track is named after me.
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    Reward no longer available 3 backers
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