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A documentary about Patrick Haggerty, who wrote, sang, and released the first gay-themed country music album in 1973.
A documentary short about Patrick Haggerty, who wrote, sang, and released the first gay-themed country music album in 1973.
A documentary short about Patrick Haggerty, who wrote, sang, and released the first gay-themed country music album in 1973.
217 backers pledged $25,420 to help bring this project to life.

About this project

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These C*cksucking Tears

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Patrick Haggerty today, guitar in hand.
Patrick Haggerty today, guitar in hand.

ABOUT THE FILM

In 1973, Patrick Haggerty, the son of a dairy farmer in rural Washington State, released the first and only gay-themed country music album. Lavender Country became a lifeline of information to rural gays but with only 1000 copies made, the album soon disappeared and became a gay urban myth.

Forty years later and much to Haggerty’s surprise, Lavender Country was rediscovered, re-released, and is now being lauded by critics as “resonant and wonderful...a rare act of bravery and honesty.”

Left, Patrick running for state senate with the multiracial New Alliance Party in the 80s. Right, Patrick during the Lavender Country Days
Left, Patrick running for state senate with the multiracial New Alliance Party in the 80s. Right, Patrick during the Lavender Country Days

THESE C*CKSUCKING TEARS revisits Haggerty -- now in his 70s and singing "old songs to old folks" at senior living facilities -- as he deals with the resurgence of a musical dream long since given up for dead. The documentary explores his unlikely personal journey, how he and a group of Seattle radicals co-opted an American artform ready-made for storytelling to tell their own story, and Patrick's relationship to a music industry where “you can come out as gay but you still can’t get up and sing about it.”

Patrick revisiting the house he grew up in, now abandoned.
Patrick revisiting the house he grew up in, now abandoned.

WHY WE NEED YOUR HELP

Making a movie - even a short - is an expensive endeavor. 

The films principal photography, crew, and travel has already been paid from our pockets, and happily so. But we're not done yet, and it's time to ask for a little help. Your donations will directly pay for the finishing of the film and the outreach needed to get the story out there, including:

  • Editing
  • Graphics
  • Archival Footage and Research
  • Post Production, including Color Correct, sound and music mixing.
Behind the scenes
Behind the scenes
Patrick jamming with the Lavender Country band.
Patrick jamming with the Lavender Country band.

WHY SUPPORT THIS FILM?

In 1973, Patrick and his compatriots in the Seattle gay community couldn't turn to a record label or a wealthy benefactor - they had to raise the money themselves, little by little. And while it wasn't easy, the friends, family, and supporters who chipped in became an integral part of the album's DNA, part of it's message. It was Kickstarter before there was Kickstarter!

Our campaign to raise finishing funds from friends and supporters will help us build a community of supporters in the same spirit that patrick did for the original album 40 years ago.

With a song called “Cryin’ These C*cksucking Tears,” the album could have been a one-note joke, a simple F-you to Nashville. Instead, Patrick and his band made an album that is nothing less than a chronicle of gay life at a time - not just the political atmosphere, but the personal and emotional challenges of being gay 40 years ago. It's a creative work that deserves to be remembered, and we hope this film will help make that happen.

It’s also a very timely story - Nashville has experienced a wave of gay and lesbian artists and song writers coming out of the closet to find more acceptance than ever before. But on the whole, that’s where the acceptance ends. It’s amazing how an album that is over 40 years old is STILL the absolute cutting edge in the music industry - country or otherwise - reminding all that there is still work to be done.

Patrick Haggerty in drag, in his hometown of Dry Creek, WA. 1959. There's a story there.
Patrick Haggerty in drag, in his hometown of Dry Creek, WA. 1959. There's a story there.

THE REWARDS

Here are some more details about the rewards offered for your support! 

$50 - The Official THESE C*CKSUCKING TEARS T-shirt. With snuggling cowboy hats on the front (courtesy of esteemed Seattle artist Pat Moriarity) and the album title on the back. Snazzy!
$50 - The Official THESE C*CKSUCKING TEARS T-shirt. With snuggling cowboy hats on the front (courtesy of esteemed Seattle artist Pat Moriarity) and the album title on the back. Snazzy!
$100 - A subscription to RFD Magazine, the historic and unapologetic reader-generated gay rag that has been serving the rural queer community for 40 years. A piece of history, still going strong!
$100 - A subscription to RFD Magazine, the historic and unapologetic reader-generated gay rag that has been serving the rural queer community for 40 years. A piece of history, still going strong!
$100 - The next issue of UGLY THINGS Magazine - the revered, book-length "ultimate rock & roll read, bringing you wild sounds from past dimensions, from times when rock & roll was young, daring, dangerous and vital.
$100 - The next issue of UGLY THINGS Magazine - the revered, book-length "ultimate rock & roll read, bringing you wild sounds from past dimensions, from times when rock & roll was young, daring, dangerous and vital.
$150 - A large-scale, hangable print of original Lavender Country artwork created by esteemed Seattle artist Pat Moriarity!
$150 - A large-scale, hangable print of original Lavender Country artwork created by esteemed Seattle artist Pat Moriarity!
$150 - A framed, limited edition print of "The Closet Cowboy," created exclusively for the Lavender Country reissue by esteemed Seattle artist Pat Moriarity!
$150 - A framed, limited edition print of "The Closet Cowboy," created exclusively for the Lavender Country reissue by esteemed Seattle artist Pat Moriarity!
$200 - a GIFT PACKAGE FROM GOT KINDA LOST RECORDS, includes copies of the labels extremely hard to find Special Edition Releases, plus buttons, glossies, and other fun stuff.
$200 - a GIFT PACKAGE FROM GOT KINDA LOST RECORDS, includes copies of the labels extremely hard to find Special Edition Releases, plus buttons, glossies, and other fun stuff.
$250 - A VINYL LAVENDER COUNTRY ALBUM, released by Paradise of Bachelors and SIGNED BY PATRICK HAGGERTY HIMSELF!
$250 - A VINYL LAVENDER COUNTRY ALBUM, released by Paradise of Bachelors and SIGNED BY PATRICK HAGGERTY HIMSELF!
$1000 - Gift Package from indie record label Paradise of Bachelors, Includes every (20+) album they've ever released, including greats like Hiss Golden Messenger, The Weather Station, and Steve Gunn. You want this!
$1000 - Gift Package from indie record label Paradise of Bachelors, Includes every (20+) album they've ever released, including greats like Hiss Golden Messenger, The Weather Station, and Steve Gunn. You want this!
$3000 - An original C*cksucking Tears-inspired Art Quilt, handmade by director Dan Taberski. No joke! I'll design it with your input! They take weeks to make! My most recent pictured above. Cozy! Cool!
$3000 - An original C*cksucking Tears-inspired Art Quilt, handmade by director Dan Taberski. No joke! I'll design it with your input! They take weeks to make! My most recent pictured above. Cozy! Cool!

THE FILMMAKERS

 DAN TABERSKI - DIRECTOR, PRODUCER

Dan Taberski is a director, producer, writer, and creator of television, film, and digital content. Under Idiot Box Productions, he created hit kids show Destroy Build Destroy for Cartoon Network, co-created the ridiculous comedy game show Craft Corner Deathmatch, and co-created the feminist digital comedy series Our Bodies, Myself. In addition, Taberski has executive produced comedy/game programming for Bravo, CNBC, Comedy Central, Fuse, Sundance, MTV, SyFy, and History. Prior to launching  Idiot Box, Taberski spent five years producing and directing field segments for The Daily Show w/Jon Stewart, and before that worked on economic policy in the Clinton White House under Gene Sperling.

CHRISTY LAMB - PRODUCER

Christy Lamb is an accomplished film/video Producer and Art Director. Her credits include indie film/tv/commercial production for Scripps Network, Rain Media, National Headquarters. Lamb recently completed principal photography on short film, HOV, as Producer. Lamb has also recently completed work as 2nd AD, Script Supervisor and AP on WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS, a short horror/dark comedy. She worked as Art Director on the short, Bad at Dancing which premiered at Berlinale in February and will be premiering in New York this fall. Previously, Lamb served as Executive Director of Dance Films Association, co-producing the Dance on Camera Film Festival with the Film Society of Lincoln Center and developing, CUNNINGHAM 3D (dir. Alla Kovgan), THEN SHE FELL (working title, dir. Lucas Smith) and ANOTHER TELEPATHIC THING (dir. Jonathan Demme). Lamb currently works in freelance film/tv production and also writes and produces content as Co-Founder of her production company, Venn Industries.

DAVID MEHLMAN - EDITOR

David Mehlman is an award-winning filmmaker and editor whose documentaries have screened internationally and on television. He was supervising editor of the 2007 Oscar-winning short subject documentary, Freeheld, that also won a Special Jury Prize at Sundance. He edited and sound designed the 2005 Academy Award-winning animated short documentary, The Moon and the Sun. He co-directed and edited the upcoming feature documentary, Left On Purpose. Other recent film and television credits include Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory (Oscar and Emmy nominee), Iconoclasts, My So-Called Enemy, IFC Media Project, Small Town Security, Chuck Jones: Memories of Childhood; and MTV True Life: I’m a Gun Owner and I’m a College Baller, which he directed, produced and edited. David received a master’s degree in Documentary Film and Video Production from Stanford University. He founded Shadowbox Films 1998.

DAMON HOYDYSH - DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY

Damon Hoydysh is a producer, director, dp, and editor. He founded Highline Studios in 2004 and since then has created and produced over 200 successful productions for clients around the world. A self-taught filmmaker with a degree in Political Science from University of Colorado Boulder, Damon got his start in production making extreme whitewater kayaking and skiing films. Damon began his career in New York City working for Ralph Lauren, Miramax Films and then Freud Communications. Since founding Highline Studios, he has worked with a diverse range of clients from Fortune 500 companies, leading consumer brands, blue chip art galleries to elite media organizations. Recent campaigns include Speedo, Nissan and General Mills. An avid traveler, Damon loves the challenge of taking Highline Studios on the road for production whether it be to rural China, the sand dunes of Algeria or the canals of Venice, Italy. He is a surfer, explorer, canyon junkie and enjoyer of all things California with his wife and his vizsla Mae.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $5 or more About $5

    "The Country Queer"

    A HEARTFELT THANKS on the These C*cksucking Tears facebook page and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES on the campaign's progress!

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    Pledge $15 or more About $15

    "The Ramblin' Man"

    Exclusive Access to Patrick Haggerty's very own "GAYEST NOT-GAY COUNTRY SONGS" SPOTIFY PLAYLIST.

    Plus - A HEARTFELT THANKS and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES on the campaign's progress!

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    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    "The Boy Named Sue"

    An exclusive DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FINISHED FILM.

    Plus - The SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, A HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    "The Cheatin' Heart"

    The official LAVENDER COUNTRY T-SHIRT, featuring artwork by Seattle-based artist Pat Moriarity.

    Plus - the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $75 or more About $75

    "The Coal Miner's Daughter"

    A DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE ORIGINAL 1973 ALBUM LAVENDER COUNTRY.

    Plus - the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    "The Tight Fittin' Jeans"

    A one year subscrition to RFD MAGAZINE!! Since 1974, RFD has been a history making, reader-generated gay rag targeting the rural LGBT community - and was one of the original ways Lavender Country found it's audience.

    Plus - the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    "The Silver Haired Daddy"

    The next issue of UGLY THINGS MAGAZINE - the revered, book-length "ultimate rock & roll read, bringing you wild sounds from past dimensions, from times when rock & roll was young, daring, dangerous and vital." Editor Jeremy Cargill was instrumental in rediscovering Lavender Country, and Ugly Things is always jam-packed with more unearthed music discoveries

    Plus - the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $150 or more About $150

    "The Okie from Muskogee"

    Your choice of a large, framable LAVENDER COUNTRY ART PRINT designed exclusively for Lavender Country by astoundingly talented animator and friend of Lavender Country, Pat Moriarty!

    Plus - the ALBUM DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $150 or more About $150

    "The Closet Cowboy"

    A framed, limited edition color "CLOSET COWBOY" PRINT designed exclusively for Lavender Country by astoundingly talented animator and friend of Lavender Country, Pat Moriarty!

    Plus - the ALBUM DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $200 or more About $200

    "The Country Bumpkin"

    First donor at this level gets a GIFT PACKAGE FROM GOT KINDA LOST RECORDS, the indie record label of Jeremy Cargill, who was instrumental in the 'rediscovery of Lavender Country. Includes copies of the labels extremely hard to find Special Edition Releases, plus buttons, glossies, and other fun stuff. If you like to discover hidden music gems on par with Lavender Country, this one is for you!

    Plus - the ALBUM DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    "The Rainy Day Woman"

    A VINYL LAVENDER COUNTRY ALBUM, released by Paradise of Bachelors and SIGNED BY PATRICK HAGGERTY HIMSELF!

    Plus - the LAVENDER COUNTRY ART PRINT, the ALBUM DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $1,000 or more About $1,000

    "The San Antonio Rose"

    First donor at this level gets a GIFT PACKAGE FROM PARADISE OF BACHELORS, the esteemed indie record label that rereleased Lavender Country in 2014. Included with be EVERY ALBUM ever released by the label (20+), which includes greats like Hiss Golden Messenger, The Weather Station, and Steve Gunn. A music collectors dream!

    Plus - the LAVENDER COUNTRY ART PRINT, the ALBUM DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $2,500 or more About $2,500

    "The Gambler"

    An Associate Producer credit on the project and Special event screening invitation to the film's premiere in New York City! (travel costs not included)

    Plus - the LAVENDER COUNTRY ART PRINT, the ALBUM DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $3,000 or more About $3,000

    "The Rhinestone Cowboy"

    An original and exclusive C*CKSUCKING TEARS-INSPIRED ART QUILT, HANDMADE BY THE FILM'S DIRECTOR DAN TABERSKI. If you've seen his quilts you know the level of detail and artistry the film promises. One of a kind reward!

    Plus - the LAVENDER COUNTRY ART PRINT, the ALBUM DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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    Pledge $10,000 About $10,000

    "The Outlaw"

    Executive Producer credit on the project and Special event screening invitation to the film's premiere in New York City! (travel costs not included)

    Plus - the LAVENDER COUNTRY ART PRINT, the ALBUM DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, the OFFICIAL T-SHIRT, the DIGITAL DOWNLOAD OF THE FILM, the SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, a HEARTFELT THANKS, and EXCLUSIVE UPDATES!

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Funding period

- (30 days)