What am I funding here?
Maxwell Cain: Burrito Avenger is a novel inspired by classic American action films of the 1980s and 1990s. The story is designed to feel like watching a cult classic film. This book is filled with explosions, helicopter chases, beautiful women, fistfights on top of speeding vehicles, grenade launchers, sword fights, and corny one-liners worthy of an 80s action hero.
While designed to be a fun spoof on 80s action films, my goal was not to create a silly book but rather to write the most intense action story ever written. Readers should be able to spot Easter egg-style homages to famous action films, but the fast pace and violence in Maxwell Cain: Burrito Avenger should keep the reader gripping the pages with white knuckles.
What's the money for?
This Kickstarter campaign is to help the author pay for cover art, professional editing, and professional formatting for both ebook and paperback editions.
The rough draft of the story is already finished and currently stands at over 66,000 words prior to self editing and professional editing. My tendency as a writer is to increase the number of words during self editing because I leave description out of the rough draft, so that word count is likely to increase. The professional editor for this novel has worked on a wide range of novels and is already booked for December.
The cover art for Maxwell Cain: Burrito Avenger is designed to look exactly like a 1980s American action film movie poster. My goal is to have art so beautiful that people will want to hang enlarged versions up as posters in their bedrooms. Renowned artist Ivan Tao has already agreed to do the work and is booked for January. Examples of his professional work can be found at https://www.artstation.com/ivantao.
All backers will receive their digital copy of the novel at least 2 weeks in advance of the book being available for sale anywhere else. Backers are welcome to publish reviews as they wish upon receiving the novel and do not have to wait for the street date. The book is yours at that point to discuss to your heart's content.
A short appetizer
The first unedited chapter is included below to give backers a taste for what they can expect from the story:
The year is 2055. In the mega city of San Pajita along the California Coast, society has decayed to the point that police don’t have the resources to respond to every little gun fight. Somewhere in the heart of downtown, a man is staring at a burrito...
Before the Rage
Maxwell Cain had killed dozens of men. In fact, that was kind of the problem.
On a scorching day, in a small, cluttered office with air so thick and muggy he had to swallow it, Max watched the chief of police scarf down a carnitas burrito. Each slurping bite dumped an avalanche of rice and beans onto Chief McGarrick’s decrepit oak desk. Pork grease poured down the sides of the tortilla and aluminum foil in a waterfall and dripped onto a desk already so stained that the new grease added layers like an oil painting. The old man’s black uniform was still coated in breakfast droppings, but this early lunch was making a heroic effort to smother the evidence of the previous meal.
McGarrick was mad. Max could tell by the way the gray-haired Chief’s jowls shook as he spoke. “Cain,” Chief McGarrick burbled around a mouthful of food, “you really stepped in it this time. I’ve had reporters calling me day and night demanding to know the department’s official stance on what happened. And you,” McGarrick thrust the burrito toward Max and sprayed a wave of food in an arc across the desk, “can’t be bothered to give a shit.”
Maxwell Cain leaned back in his faded office chair with one arm draped over the backrest and one leg kicked out straight. Dark close-cropped hair and a clean-shaven face made of large cheekbones, a high nose bridge, and a powerful jaw matched with his piercing blue eyes gave him a rough and predatory look that others found intimidating. Max’s black police uniform was unbuttoned halfway down the front and thick, sweaty chest hairs poked through the gap.
The young cop continued to eye the burrito, even as his slobbering hog of a boss choked and gorged himself on it. The effect should have been disgusting but Max was hungry enough that his appetite persisted through the visual assault.
Max finally drew a breath to answer in a casual, almost bored tone. “A few dirtbags bought the farm. What’s the issue?”
“What’s the issue?” Chief McGarrick sputtered. One flabby hand waved a tv remote at a small screen built into the wall to Max’s left, and the bank surveillance video played again for the third time. Max watched as six robbers in black ski masks pointed their guns around a decorated bank lobby. One of the robbers grabbed a young man and stuck a pistol in the man’s ribs. The cashiers behind the desk started screaming and ducking, which only pissed off the robbers. They started firing into the ceiling.
Finally, at the bottom on the video, a man in black appeared. Max was proud to see himself stand straight and tall as he entered the scene and fired one-by-one at the six robbers. Sprays of blood redecorated the lobby with crimson fountains. A few of the robbers tried to shoot back but Max ducked and dodged behind wooden desks as he returned fire. The desks erupted in showers of splinters, but Max kept shooting and the robber’s heads kept exploding.
At last the only robber left was the man pressing his gun into the hostage. Max watched as his video-self stood from behind the desk and walked forward ten paces. The robber was shouting something and shaking the hostage, who was screaming in terror.
Max fired through the hostage’s upper right chest and into the heart of the robber standing behind him. The robber flew back against the wall and the hostage spilled across the floor. Without breaking his stride, Max continued forward several more steps before pumping another round into the struggling hostage-taker’s head. With a shower of blood and brains, the final bank robber lay still.
“The bank was just lucky I happened to be making a deposit,” Max said offhandedly.
“You shot a hostage!” McGarrick thundered. “He lost a lung!”
“So get a doctor to clone him a new one. Should take, what, a week? Anyway, you should be giving me a medal, not keeping me from lunch. I took out six scumbags in one go and saved the public a lot of misery.”
“Those scumbags,” McGarrick growled, “would have had to pay a huge fine for the robbery. That fine could have gone to pave over some of our cracking roads or build shelters for the thousands of homeless bums out there. Or have you forgotten how rough the economy is right now?”
A look of anger finally broke through Max’s casual smirk. “Paying a fine from money ripped from the hands of citizens is no deterrent, Chief. The drug lords in this town don’t give two shits about paying some measly fine when their little bagboys get picked up, they just factor the cost into their prices and pass it along to the customer.”
McGarrick’s flabby mouth firmed into a hard line. No doubt the look was supposed to be one of authority but was spoiled by the grease which gave his jowls a shiny gleam. “Cain, you know how overcrowded the jails are. We had to shut most of them down for lack of funding.”
“And isn’t that a funny thing,” Max said. “With all the fines the city is pulling in you’d think we’d have more than enough cash to go around. Where’s all that money going, I wonder?”
“Max, this isn’t the Wild West. You can’t just go around shooting perpetrators. These men had each paid at least a dozen fines before this incident and were fully rehabilitated.”
“Yeah, real model citizens,” Max scoffed.
“And now,” McGarrick went on without replying. He had decided to just ignore Max. “Now you’ve dropped this steaming pile of PR mess into my lap and I’ve got to sort it out. Activists are out there right now calling for charges against you. They’re calling you “Bloody Rain Cain.” However, in light of your years of service—”
“And the fact that I’m the most decorated officer on the force with the highest rate of efficiently ending threats from violent criminals,” Max cut in.
McGarrick stampeded over him to finish, “—I’ve decided to let you off by just firing you.”
The thick air in the office filled with a new layer of tension.
“You’re firing me?” Max demanded. “I’m the best cop in the department.”
“You’re the most violent cop in the department,” McGarrick corrected him.
“That’s what I said.”
“Max, you can’t just shoot criminals and expect to be let off every time. There are consequences for actions. And I’m not willing to cover your ass on this one. It’s you or me, and frankly, you haven’t given me much respect over the years.”
“You haven’t given me much reason to respect you,” Max spat. He stood and yanked his gun from his holster faster than McGarrick’s eye could follow and slammed the weapon down on the desktop right in a pile of rice and beans.
“And your badge,” McGarrick snarled.
Max hesitated. The gun was one thing, but the badge would hurt. With delicate care he pulled his gleaming badge from his chest and placed it gently on the desk in the only clean spot he could find. Then his piercing blue eyes rose and stabbed into McGarrick’s watery brown gaze.
“You’re gonna miss me, McGarrick. Violence is gonna smother this town in an avalanche of blood and all your fines and fees won’t do a damned thing to shelter the citizens under your protection. When that happens, remember that you pissed all over one of the few officers still working to make a difference. Take my badge. I hope you choke on it, you putrid sack of grease.”
Max’s black boots thundered across the oak floorboards as he stormed out.
Risks and challenges
The rough draft of the novel is already complete and the three professionals being hired are already booked and awaiting payment. The only risk is that one of the professionals or the author have an unforeseen life event which necessitates time away from work, but in that event the work will be handed off to others to complete and every effort will be made to stay within the time limit for delivery of the product.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (30 days)