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The greatest work IN English literature, now in the greatest format OF English literature: a chooseable-path adventure!
The greatest work IN English literature, now in the greatest format OF English literature: a chooseable-path adventure!
The greatest work IN English literature, now in the greatest format OF English literature: a chooseable-path adventure!
15,352 backers pledged $580,905 to help bring this project to life.

UNLOCKED: the B to the F ebook is now included at the $25 tiers and above! Plus more story

Kickstarter has just switched from "days" to "hours". There's a little over 70 hours left on this campaign! :0

Now's the time to let everyone know about this. You can use for easy sharing, and since we've crossed our goal (remember? way back on the first day! you guys are THE BEST) there's no risk. It's all super appreciated!

Last day when I wrote we were at $370k: today we're $384k and well on our way to that final stretch goal at $400k. The $375 stretch goal we just unlocked is another free digital book to everyone pledging at the TOTALLY SWEET ($25) tiers or above! This is my B to the F book, where I reviewed the super-crazy novelization of Back to the Future page-by-page. I wrote this in parallel with To Be Or Not To Be (you know, that classic writing technique of Taking A Break From History Times To Write About A Time-Travelling Teen) and while it is available for sale separately y'all gonna get this bad boy for free. It has lots of jokes and if you like jokes then you can read this book for some of them!

I've updated the list of rewards with this, so be sure to check it out!

Storywise I chose some random numbers and letters, and we ended up having to choose between OPTION R2D2 (Be Hamlet, become convinced by Ophelia's plan, then be Ophelia again and put the plan in motion) and OPTION C3P0 (Try to convince him by just talking to him). And the winner by popular acclaim is... the thermocapsulary dehousing assister!!

(That's R2.)

Be Hamlet, become convinced by Ophelia's plan, then be Ophelia again and put the plan in motion

Wow, now you're catching on!

Okay, you're Hamlet! And you decide, as Hamlet, that Ophelia is making a lot of sense. I mean, it is a little weird that she's suddenly so into murdering people, and isn’t it also kinda weird how you're going to kill a dude because your Ghost Dad asked you to even though this ghost can interact with the physical realm and if he can do that why doesn't he just kill him himself? Wait - this plan doesn't really make a lot of sense, does it? This is crazy! This whole plan is crazy!!

Hamlet kicks you out, and you are now Ophelia again. Hamlet says "Hey Ophelia, um, I'm not sure we should be killing Claudius after all. Maybe my dad can just do it himself."

"I thought you were down with this revenge thing!" you say. "Don't you want revenge?"

"Well um, that's the thing," he says. "Revenge is great and all but I get the impression that maybe there's more productive things for me to be consumed by -" and now you're Hamlet again and you finish his sentence with " - but actually, now that I think about it hah hah let's stab that jerk in the brains!" and now you're back to being Ophelia again and I honestly think you're abusing your reader privileges here so let's be Ophelia from now on, okay? Besides, you've got Hamlet pretty well set up for a while. He is down to murder a dude.

The only option here is "Hit the books" so let's do that!

Hit the books

You pass Hamlet some books off your bookshelf. One is a book on poisons. The other is a book on sneaking around. "Here, read these," you say. "At the end, you should be good at poisons and sneaking around."

"Got it," Hamlet says.

"In the meantime, I'm going to read these books on how to stab people and how to get away with things. At the end, I should be good at getting away with stabbing people."

"Nice," Hamlet says.

"Then we'll switch!" you say.

"Super rad!" Hamlet says!

There are two options here! Leave your vote in the comments and we'll pick this up tomorrow, in one of the few hours left to us (it is just a coincidence that this Kickstarter ends on December 21st, 2012, HONEST)

OPTION EISENSTEIN: Training montage!!
OPTION DEMILLE: Don't bother with a montage, just skip to several weeks later when I'm fully trained


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    1. D Arrrrrr on

      EISENSTEIN montage it is!

    2. Missing avatar

      David Petersen on

      Who wants a montage of reading-books-ville?
      I'll go with the better option, Master DEMILLE

    3. Missing avatar

      dora on

      Who skips a montage? Uncultured swine.
      The classiest option is clearly Eisenstein.

      Ryan, how much do you think the audiobook will cost when it's all said and done?

    4. Ryan Huff on

      Pffft! Now that I know I can vote for a super secret Einstein option I'm totally going with Einstein!

    5. Bob B. on

      Are you ready for an Eisenstein?

    6. Terence Chandler on

      O....M...G.....I've been reading the updates all day, and it took Sir O'Dwyer's comment for me to realize that it is NOT in fact Einstein; and that actually very few of the posts are Einstein. I mean, I thought it was kind of a weird pair up: Einstein vs Demille....but I barely gave it a second thought. I'm chalking it up to the B^F reference that threw me.

      Anyway - my vote is definitely EINSTEIN. (Which if nothing else should be counted as EISENSTEIN, which means MONTAGE!!! Hell to the yeah!!!)

    7. Arthur O'Dwyer on

      The current tally as I counted it (modulo some votes that were unclear) is:
      Eisenstein: 109
      DeMille: 16
      Einstein: 18

      It seems unlikely that Einstein will catch up to Eisenstein, but IF IT DOES, I think that means that we get a THIRD option in which Ophelia and Hamlet train SO FAST that they both end up younger than the other.

      So I'm voting for EINSTEIN and the TWIN PARADOX SECRET BONUS LEVEL. Who's with me?

    8. Kate Merriweather on

      Eisenstein: Gotta Be a Montage

      Will the montage have a song that can be listened to concurrently during the reading of the montage scene? That would be pretty cool.

      Found it interesting that SERGEI EISENSTEIN wrote a defining essay called the Montage of Attractions. In this essay, first published in 1923, Sergei Eisenstein develops and describes a new editing form, the theory of the “montage of attractions” that would define his work as a director and film theorist... For Eisenstein, "attractions" are any elements of a film the psychological effect of which can be measured, and the job of montage is to arrange those "attractions" in such a way as to produce new meaning, a new thing.

      So many ways that the montage has been worked into films and other forms of creative media. We must homage the montage!

    9. Jamie Tang on

      I don't know what a training montage is & we don't have that much time left for episodes so I'll go with Option DeMille

    10. Kojiless on

      Sorry if you already commented on this, but is the B to the F bonus ebook available to those who pledged a total of $25 or more, or just to those who pledged in the $25 tier or higher? (asks a man who falls into the $20 tier + $10 international shipping slot). I remember the ecard being available to those who pledged $30 or more (shipping included) and was wondering if this worked the same.


      (Oh, and definitely training montage)

    11. Missing avatar

      Stephen McNeil on

      Wax on!
      Wax off!

    12. Missing avatar

      Laura Hennen on

      OPTION EISENSTEIN! Whooo training montages!!

    13. Zarf


    14. Luke Bean on

      Aughhh why is Eisenstein an option, that was just begging for a million painful comments confusing him with Einstein

    15. Missing avatar

      Andrew O on

      How did Eisenstien discover space was curved? In a montage!

    16. Rolando on

      Option Eisenstein!

    17. richlayers on

      Eisenstein! Let's draw this out as much as possible!

    18. Missing avatar

      Iguana Baritone on


    19. Ally on

      Yessss, finally I have backed and can finally vote! :D

      Though it seems it won't be too necessary, since I'm gonna have to go with the majority here and vote for EISENSTEIN. Skipping stuff is for boring things and training montages are way cool!!

    20. Taylor Martin on

      Everyone loves training montages and I'm part of everyone! EINSTEIN!

    21. Missing avatar

      Zeke Willey on

      I just want to be a part of what will probably be the biggest landslide vote so far. Montages forever! EISENSTEIN.

    22. Missing avatar

      Amanda Stock on


      *cues Rocky music*

    23. rawspork on

      Do you ship Strickland/Rooney OTP?

      Demille? Nein,
      Instead, Eisenstein!

    24. Missing avatar

      Wymar on

      Mineral montage!

    25. Missing avatar

      Chris Coleman on

      Eisenstein. It's montage time.

    26. Missing avatar

      Susan Schomburg on

      i'm pretty sure, that what we need right a MONTAGE.

    27. Missing avatar

      bluedyn on

      Montages rule!

    28. Missing avatar

      Christopher Secrest on

      We need a montage, set to 80's music.
      You're the best, AROUND!

    29. Missing avatar

      George Harris on

      80s power ballads are super fine!
      That's why I'm choosing Eisenstein.

    30. Missing avatar

      Ian Vassilaros on

      I'm all about the Eisenstein. But you know what ELSE I'm all about?

      Getting this whole not-in-the-book-currently path we've chosen in the book. Add it in, Ryan.

      You know you want to.
      Everyone else is doing it.
      Just once won't hurt.
      You can quit after the first time.
      It'll make you feel good.
      You want to be popular, don't you?

      Juuust a little peer pressure. :)

    31. Missing avatar

      Ian Castruita on

      Eisenstein all the way. Montage the heck out of that training.

    32. Robin VanGilder on

      Einsten, obvs.

      Gotta have a montage.

    33. Nick-el on

      I read B^F when you blogged it. I bought B^F when it was released on Amazon. I'm still excited to get B^F now.

      Bring on the final stretch goal!

    34. TooMuchDew on

      Give me a Sergei Mikhailovich Eizenshtein-style montage Ryan-san, I croaked… after straining my vocal cords to the tune of Joe (Bean) Esposito's "You're the Best!"