More story, more illustrations, more skull details!
Today's the first day in almost TWO WEEKS (tomorrow's the half-way point!) that I post an update that doesn't involve unlocking a stretch goal, which seems a little ridiculous to say since as I'm writing this we're already 10k higher than where we were at this time yesterday. Thank you for continuing to tell all and sundry about this project and hamletbook.com! You are awesome!
And we're close to unlocking cover-artist Noelle's special, Kickstarter-only "Hey I got you this book for Christmas, it'll arrive in May!" ecard (we're at $237k and it happens at $250k), and after that it's plush Yorick skulls! I forgot to mention it yesterday, but if unlocked, these adorable skulls will be going out to the $60 tiers and above. They're going to be TOTALLY NUTS. You can up your pledge if you want to get in on this potential action: visit the project page and click on "Manage Pledge"!
Story-wise, we as Ophelia had teamed up with Hamlet and made a list of ways to kill a man, and we'd narrowed it down to four possibilities which I went ahead and nicknamed for you, my Internet Pals:
- METALBENDING: Stabs, as it's the simplest and there's swords here, like, everywhere.
- WATERBENDING: Drowning, as you think you can make it look like an accident.
- AIRBENDING: Blast Him Into Space because Hamlet insists on it.
- BOOKBENDING: And also the stupid book one because again, Hamlet insists on it.
Voting results suggest the following: we believe airbending can save the world.
Blast Him Into Space
AWESOME. I'm glad you chose this option!!
"AWESOME." Hamlet says. "I'm glad you chose this option!" So wow, it seems everyone is down with this course of action, Ophelia!
Okay so space travel hasn't been invented yet (IF IT EVER WILL BE, I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I AM FROM HISTORY TOO) so this is going to be a bit - tricky? You and Hamlet spend most of your time trying to invent rocket ships, but this is with old-timey technology which is like, tarps and stuff, so needless to say it doesn't work.
However, a few months into your research you begin to think that if you can't reach the stars, second best isn't so bad, and so you and Hamlet get Claudius drunk and put him in a giant wicker basket attached to a hot air balloon which is a thing you did at least manage to invent! Then you send him so far up he suffocates to death in the thin air, and then the balloon explodes due to the low atmospheric pressure, and then when his body hits the ground it explodes too, so I guess the saying is wrong after all and really, revenge is a dish best served at slightly below body temperature, dropped from a great height, and observed from a safe distance.
Hooray! We got another ending, this one illustrated with panache and flair and blood squirts by KC Green!
Since it's game over, our choices are to go back and make another choice, or to start over again! This gives us a staggering SIX CHOICES:
CHOICE A NEW HOPE: Go back and choose stabs
CHOICE THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Go back and choose drowning
CHOICE RETURN OF THE JEDI: Go back and choose the book thing
CHOICE THE PHANTOM MENACE: Go back and play as Hamlet
CHOICE ATTACK OF THE CLONES: Go back and play as King Hamlet
CHOICE REVENGE OF THE SITH: Go back and restart as Ophelia
Help decide our path by voting in the comments, awesome Kickstarter backers! You're our only hope!
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ONE FUTURE BOOK, PLEASE: You'll get a DRM-free digital copy of To Be Or Not To Be as soon as it's completed, that will last as long as we've got electricity and computers. This is the fastest and cheapest way to get the book!Estimated delivery:
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ONE PHYSICAL AND FUTURE BOOK, PLEASE: You'll get a SIGNED paperback copy of To Be Or Not To Be AND a digital copy. For non-US donors, please donate at least $30 total to accommodate shipping.Estimated delivery:Add $10 USD to ship outside the US
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TOTALLY SWEET: The physical and future book (signed book and digital copy!) plus some Kickstarter-only temporary tattoos! One is of T-Rex saying "Sup?" and the other is of Utahraptor saying "WHATEVER". Don't you want these on your skin? Probably?? For non-US donors, please donate at least $35 total to accommodate shipping.Estimated delivery:Add $10 USD to ship outside the US
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AMAZINGLY RAD: You'll get a SIGNED limited edition hardcover copy of To Be Or Not TO Be AND a digital copy. For non-US donors, please donate at least $60 total to accommodate shipping.Estimated delivery:Add $10 USD to ship outside the US
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SUPER AMAZINGLY RAD: Everything in AMAZINGLY RAD (signed hardcover book and digital copy) plus some Kickstarter-only temporary tattoos! One is of T-Rex saying "Sup?" and the other is of Utahraptor saying "WHATEVER". Don't you want these on your skin too? Probably you do?? For non-US donors, please donate at least $65 total to accommodate shipping.Estimated delivery:Add $10 USD to ship outside the US
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IS IT ALLOWED TO READ ONE BOOK MORE THAN ONCE, WHAT IF IT'S NOT: 3 paperback copies of the book, signed. Please give at least $15 extra in shipping for non-US orders.Estimated delivery:Add $15 USD to ship outside the US
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I WANT TO PUT THINGS ON MY BODY AND WALLS: Everything in the "TOTALLY SWEET" pack (signed book, digital copy, rad tats) AND a giant, gorgeous poster featuring an annotated flowchart for the entire book. You'll be able to go through the story just by staring at your wall. That's what living is all about, my friend.Estimated delivery:Add $15 USD to ship outside the US
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BEST BUDS FOREVER: a signed paperback copy of To Be Or Not To Be, PLUS a signed hardcover version too. And you get all the goodies in "SUPER AMAZINGLY RAD" tier twice! That means two bookmarks, two copies of the prequel, twice the tattoos, and so on. I hope fighting over who gets the hardcover version will not destroy your friendship :( Add $15 to ship outside the US.Estimated delivery:Add $15 USD to ship outside the US
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SUPER I WANT TO PUT THINGS ON MY BODY AND WALLS: Like I WANT TO PUT THINGS ON MY BODY AND WALLS (book + poster + rad tats + digital copy), but with a hardcover copy of the book instead. International donors please donate at least $100 total to accommodate shipping.Estimated delivery:Add $10 USD to ship outside the US
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GIANT ADVENTURES, GIANT POSTERS: Everything in SUPER I WANT TO PUT THINGS ON MY BODY AND WALLS (hardcover book, rad tats, digital copy, poster) but with the poster printed both regular (large) sized and TREMENDOUS-SIZED. You'll get 4 posters that combine, Voltron-style, to form a poster that is larger than your body in every dimension except thickness. International donors please add at least $15 to accommodate shipping.Estimated delivery:Add $15 USD to ship outside the US
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WHAT ABOUT ME THOUGH: Everything in the Super I Want To Put Things On My Body And Walls pack (hardcover book + poster + rad tats + digital copy), PLUS I'll write and sign and sketch a dinosaur in a separate pamphlet book containing a 100% all-new gamebook adventure starring YOU. Just tell me a bit about yourself and what sort of adventure you'd like to go on! You are now a patron of the arts with a custom minibook written about your wacky times! Put that on your epitaph, baby.Estimated delivery:
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PATRON OF THE FRIGGIN' ARTS: Everything in the Super I Want To Put Things On My Body And Walls pack (hardcover book + poster + rad tats + digital copy), PLUS I'll write a Dinosaur Comic on the subject of your choosing that will appear on the site. Just don't make it a terrible subject ("Sam eats poops, I saw it, I was there") and we'll be good. You will have the power to create an actual comic on any topic you choose. This will make you a literal patron of the arts. This is amazing. Also it would make a nice present for someone I'm pretty sure.Estimated delivery:
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ULTIMATE CHAMPION IN ALL POSSIBLE TIMELINES: Everything in the WHAT ABOUT ME THOUGH reward level, plus I'll paint a painting of T-Rex that you'll get to have in your house. This is a thing you can make happen. NOTE: I am not a very good painter is the thing. Thank you for supporting the book and in exchange I will make you the best painting I can but let's both go into this with our eyes open.Estimated delivery:
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ULTIMATE CHAMPION IN ALL POSSIBLE TIMELINES 2000: Everything in "ULTIMATE CHAMPION IN ALL POSSIBLE TIMELINES", plus your painting will be on a sexagonal canvas which makes it better and more valuable, plus you and I will have a nice conversation on the phone during where I'll ask you what T-Rex should be doing in the painting, and then we'll just talk about our feelings, during which time you will be given SEVERAL opportunities to choose where the conversation goes next.Estimated delivery:
- (30 days)