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The greatest work IN English literature, now in the greatest format OF English literature: a chooseable-path adventure!
The greatest work IN English literature, now in the greatest format OF English literature: a chooseable-path adventure!
The greatest work IN English literature, now in the greatest format OF English literature: a chooseable-path adventure!
15,352 backers pledged $580,905 to help bring this project to life.

ROMEO AND/OR JULIET: out now! And a NYT bestseller!!



Just a note to say that the sequel book to this CRAZY KICKSTARTER we all backed in 2012 is out now!  If you haven't ordered your copy yet you can do so at as well as see some great art from the book, including THIS:

By Becky Cloonan
By Becky Cloonan


By Mike Maihack
By Mike Maihack


By John Martz
By John Martz


By Kevin Jay Stanton
By Kevin Jay Stanton



Also I wanted to thank you all, beloved Kickstarter backers, for being such great supporters of this book!  Because of your enthusiasm, Romeo and/or Juliet debuted last week as a NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING BOOK.




and also amazing.  Thank you all so much!!  I did not think this was possible, but here we are: a New York Times bestselling book about horny Shakespeare teens.  WE DID IT, EVERYONE.

Just as a reminder, there is a special KICKSTARTER-EXCLUSIVE adventure that I wrote as a way to say thanks to y'all.  It connects To Be or Not To Be and Romeo and/or Juliet and it lives here, in our one backers-only post.  I hope you like it!

That's all for now - thank you again for this crazy adventure (LITERALLY) and I could not have done it without all your help.  <3 <3 <3

- Ryan 

Romeo and/or Juliet: Nick Gurewitch art!


Yesterday we had the choice to be a glove or not, and OF COURSE you all decided to be a glove!  Twitter actually tried to vote against it but there were more than enough of us here to SHUT THAT DOWN.



“Dang, I REALLY wish I was that glove,” you say.

Once in a very long time, the universe grants wishes. It doesn’t happen often, but you’re so in love with this woman, so fervent and obsessed, that your wish takes on the character of, for example, the wish of a parent hoping for their drowning child to be saved from a torrential flood. And because of that, a miracle happens: your wish is granted. That kid drowns now, incidentally.

You are now a glove!

A glove (from the Old English “glof”) is a garment covering the hand, with separate openings for each finger and the thumb. Gloves are typically worn to protect and comfort hands against cold, heat, friction, abrasion, chemicals, or disease. Gloves are an early invention, attested to as early as the eighth century BC, when they are mentioned in Homer’s Odyssey.

Gloves are not capable of sentient thought.


That ending illustration is by Nicholas Gurewitch, from The Perry Bible Fellowship! And to show you how above and beyond Nick goes (he is amazing) he actually illustrated a larger version of this piece, which he then mailed off to me as a gift. WHAT A GREAT GUY.

And that’s it! We played as Juliet and got a really great ending right off the bat, and then we played as Romeo and got turned into a gross creepy glove. THAT SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT, ACTUALLY??

Thank you all for voting along the way on what should happen next! There’s SO MUCH MORE in the book - seriously, we barely skimmed it, and there’s two more characters we haven’t even played yet - but our readthrough adventure ends here! I’ll be posting RAD ART as we count down the last few days on the Tumblr if you want to join us there.  I'll make a post here when that's all collected!

The book comes out one week from today, and if you haven’t ordered it yet, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE. :0  And if you'd like a taste for free, don't forget the Kickstarter-exclusive story I wrote just for y'all, a stand-alone adventure that connects To Be or Not To Be to the new book. It's my way of thanking you for making this all possible!

<3 <3 <3


and/or Romeo and/or Juliet

and/or Shakespeare too I guess

Romeo and/or Juliet: Balcony time FANCY


We left Romeo seeing Juliet on the balcony, and the consensus was for TEAM FANCY for how he should speak.  But that's just Shakespeare!  So I'ma give you BOTH:


“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?” you ask yourself again. You decide to answer your own question out loud.

“It is the east, and Juliet is the sun,” you explain to yourself. You hold out one hand in front of you. “Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou, her maid, art far more fair than she! Be not her maid since she is envious: her vestal livery is but sick and green, and none but fools do wear it. Cast it off!” Classy, Romeo!

At this point Juliet says something, but you can’t quite make it out. It seems like she’s talking to herself too?

“It is my lady,” you go on, staring at her, your one arm still upraised in front of you. “Oh, it is my love. Oh, that she knew she were! She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that? Her eye discourses. I will answer it!”

You lower your arm and step forward. You suddenly realize that being surprised after dark by a dude trespassing in her garden might not be something she responds well to. You creep back into the bushes.

“I am too bold,” you say, raising your arm up again. “ ’Tis not to me she speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp. Her eye in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night.”

Juliet leans, resting her cheek in her hand.

“See how she leans her cheek upon her hand,” you say to yourself. “Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek!”


And just in case you were wondering what all that FANCY LANGUAGE means, here’s the NON-FANCY version!



“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?” you ask yourself again. You decide to answer your own question out loud.

“Oh, it’s Juliet,” you say. “She’s east of me, so I’m metaphorically treating her as the sun. And what a sun! She’s a sun SO SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE that even the moon is jealous of her. She should kill that moon. Also, she should stop being a virgin. I should help her stop being a virgin.”

“Virgins are losers,” you say. You don’t know this, but in Roman mythology the goddess of the moon is the same person as the god of virginity (Diana!), so this horny metaphor you’ve been building is actually working out pretty well. Work in birthing and hunting and you’ll hit all of Diana’s interests, Romeo!

At this moment Juliet says something, but you can’t quite make it out. It seems like she’s talking to herself too!

“There’s Juliet,” you say, staring at her in secret from the bushes outside her window. “I love her and want to kiss her. Also, I can’t hear what she’s saying right now BUT WHO CARES, because her eyes alone do talking enough for me.” You pause, lost in her eyes.

“Screw it,” you say. “I’m talking to her.” You step out of the bushes and instantly lose your nerve.

“Naw,” you say, retreating back into the shrubbery.

“Still! Those eyes, man,” you say to yourself. “I’m serious. It’s like the two prettiest stars in the sky went on break and asked her eyes to fill in for them until they get back. Wow, imagine if her eyes were in the sky, and therefore the stars would be INSIDE HER HEAD??” You pause again, considering it.

“That’d be pretty crazy, actually,” you conclude. “Her cheeks would be LIT UP. They’d be so bright that night would seem like day. Birds would get all messed up.”

Juliet leans, resting her cheek in her hand.

“Frig, man, I sure wish I was that glove,” you say.


Both fancy and romancy options end up with the same two choices, so what’ll it be, Romeo??

  • OPTION BE IN LOVE: Keep staring at her! 
  • OPTION BE THAT GLOVE: Actually wish to be that glove!

Vote in the comments if you dare, and the book ships out in nine days, so be sure to preorder it if you haven't already!! :0



Romeo and/or Juliet: Balcony time!!


Yesterday we were creeping in the bushes outside Juliet’s house and had to decide what balcony to inspect. The most popular choice was obviously the MYSTERY BALCONY, which it turns out is the one with Juliet on it! GOOD WORK, EVERYONE. But one of those balconies also had Juliet’s naked dad on it and I’m sure we wouldn’t want to miss that, so:


You look up to the balcony. A light is on inside!

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?” you whisper, holding one hand out in front of you.

A naked old dude steps out from the light onto the balcony. He’s smoking a cigar. His naughty bits are dangling in the breeze. Aw gross, I think that’s her dad!

“AW GROSS, I THINK THAT’S HER DAD,” you say, moving away to investigate another balcony. “NICE WEEN THOUGH.”

  • Examine the nearby stone balcony 
  • Examine some other balcony instead  

So NOW, let’s make the choice we already made for MYSTERY BALCONY. Also here the book tells you this mysterious “Lady Capulet” is actually named “Juliet”, but I’ve already done that with all this talking about the book, so uh, try to act surprised??



You look up to the balcony. A light is on inside!

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?” you whisper, holding one hand out in front of you.

A lady in a nightgown steps out from the light onto the balcony, brushing her hair. She’s… super hot! It’s the same lady, Romeo!

And here I want to pause to say, honestly, I thought you’d find out this woman’s name by now. I really did. But that hasn’t happened, and I guess I have nobody to blame but myself. Anyway, her name is Juliet. Juliet Capulet. Surprise! IT’S THE WOMAN WHOSE NAME IS ON THE COVER OF THIS BOOK. And I get that my just telling you now introduces a continuity error here, but just forget it. Nobody will ever notice you suddenly know who she is, unless they’re forced to study this book in great detail, and even then I’m sure their teacher will just say, “Oh Romeo probably saw her name on the house directory on the way out. That’s a thing houses have so it’s not a problem, the end!”

Alright, so Juliet’s here! You’re staring at her from the bushes you’re hiding in, and you are REALLY feeling like talking her up to yourself. How you wanna play this, Romeo?

  • OPTION FANCY: Talk her up fancy-like 
  • OPTION ROMANCY: Talk her up normal-like



Romeo and/or Juliet: post-kiss shenanigans


Yesterday Romeo and Juliet smooched (YES) (FINALLY) and we had the choice to finish that smoochtime as either of them.  Romeo won (I BLAME TUMBLR) so I guess we don't get to be Juliet for at least a little while.  FINE; WHATEVER, SECRETLY I LOVE JULIET TOO


The chimes stop, the band quiets, and the woman you met literally three minutes ago, whom you’re already kissing on and whose name you don’t even know, pulls back a little.

“You kiss by the book,” she says, and you’re instantly wishing you’d cleaned up before you headed out tonight. The books stacked beside your bed right now include Kiss It Better! What YOU Can Learn from the World’s Greatest Kissers, Reminiscing About Kissing: Sixty-Six Years of Sexy Smooches, Basorexia!, and How to Press the Bacteria-Rich Outer Edge of Your Digestive Tract Against the Bacteria- Rich Outer Edge of Someone Else’s Digestive Tract and Exchange Fluids.

“Oh hah hah, that’s weird,” you say. Before she can say anything, a woman in a nurse outfit walks up and says, “Hey, your mom wants to talk to you.”

“Yes, Angelica,” she says, and takes your hand. “Sorry,” she says. “My parents are really controlling. I’ll be back soon. Promise.”

She leaves, and you turn to the nurse lady. You’re still a little stunned from meeting that woman and how SUPER RAD your kisses were though, so when you try to say, “Who was that woman?” it accidentally comes out as “What … is her mother?” which is barely even grammatical.

She smiles. “Her mother’s the lady of the house,” she says. “Lady Capulet. And I’ll tell you what, whoever puts a ring on that is gonna be loaded.”

You take a step sideways in shock, which is what humans do in real life when they encounter information they were not expecting. The woman leaves you, unconcerned.

“I, Romeo Montague, cannot believe that she’s a Capulet,” you say to yourself, unbelieving. “She’s my worst enemy! How could this have happened? How is it possible that I would meet a Capulet, at a party hosted by the Capulets, here at Capulet Castle, situated as always at One Capulet Lane??” 

 Benvolio and Mercutio emerge from the crowd. “Let’s bounce, bro,” Benvolio says. “Always leave a party early. That way, you don’t have to help with cleanup.  

 “OBVIOUSLY,” you say. “But we just got here! Also, I think I’m in trouble.” Benvolio is already pulling you to the exit. You’re almost out of the castle when the nurse lady catches up to you and asks you what your name is. 

 “Romeo Montague,” you say. She gasps and brings a hand to her mouth. “It’s okay,” you say, trying to calm her down. “Yes, we crashed the party. But we’re leaving now, okay? We don’t want any trouble.” 

 “Daaaaang,” she says, taking a few steps backwards. She still seems shocked, but whatever. 

You and your friends leave the party. Benvolio and Mercutio are talking to each other, laughing, gossiping, making fun of the people there. You don’t hear a word of it. All you can think about is that woman, this mysterious Hottiebabe Capulet. You don’t even know her name! For all you know, it could actually be “Hottiebabe Capulet.” On the other hand, it could be something less attractive, like “Stinkums Dentalplaque Capulet.” 

“I have to go back,” you say out loud. Your friends look at you in surprise. 

“What?” they say. “Romeo, wait!” 

You realize you’re already running back towards Capulet Castle. “How can I leave while my heart’s rooted here?” you shout over your shoulder. You hear your friend shouting after you (something about having sex with ghosts, and also fruit? Probably you misheard that, right?) but you don’t stop, and before long you’ve hopped the castle fence and made your way to the castle proper. It’s quiet: looks like the party’s ended. You’re crawling around in the bushes trying to figure out which room is hers. There are several balconies attached to the house. Could be any one of them, actually! 

  • OPTION STONE: Examine the nearby stone balcony 
  • OPTION WOOD: Examine the nearby wooden balcony 
  • OPTION SURPRISE ME: Examine some other balcony instead


Vote in the comments and we'll go with the winner tomorrow!  The book comes out in less than two weeks :0