Share this project

Done

Share this project

Done
The authoritative guide to survival in the war between man and bear. From the creator of AXE COP and BEARMAGEDDON.
The authoritative guide to survival in the war between man and bear. PREORDERS NOW AVAILABLE!
The authoritative guide to survival in the war between man and bear. PREORDERS NOW AVAILABLE!
506 backers pledged $30,328 to help bring this project to life.

About

Bears Want to Kill You project video thumbnail
Replay with sound
Play with
sound

Bears Want to Kill You

$30,328

506

Every book written on bears has been a lie. People live under the false impression that bears can be avoided, that bear attacks are survivable, and even that bears are not immortal. Suffice it to say, people have a lot to learn about bears, bear safety, bear attacks and the impending war between man and bear. 

BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU will be the first honest book about bears ever written. No lies, no propaganda. It's the hard reality nobody wants to face. Can you survive a bear attack? Yes, but only until it kills you.

My name is Ethan Nicolle. My last name—while manly—is pronounced just like the girl name. It's always good to get that out of the way. I am known mostly for creating AXE COP with my little brother, Malachai. It was an amazing adventure that became a six-volume comic series and two seasons of an awesome TV show. And while I'd be fine with only being known as the Axe Cop guy, I've had an insatiable fascination with bears for quite some time.

Yes, I made a living for a few years playing with axes with a five-year-old
Yes, I made a living for a few years playing with axes with a five-year-old

I had this Bearmageddon idea I was obsessed with, so I made that my other webcomic. Without the luck of it going viral, It was a lot harder to get people to read it, so I started making bear safety memes in an attempt to generate viral interest... a sneaky way to market my other webcomic. 

I had a vision and I ran with it.
I had a vision and I ran with it.

 While the webcomic has grown steadily over the years, even getting a small film deal in China, the bear safety memes themselves have been shared millions of times and made the front page of sites like Imgur and Reddit. I got so into making these things, I made my own Onion-style parody news site called www.BearmageddonNews.com.

I took up shameless bear-memery in my spare time
I took up shameless bear-memery in my spare time

So the little marketing gimmicks for Bearmageddon became their own sort of separate phenomenon! The demand for a book escalated and I decided if I could get it backed, I would do it. The book is already in progress. Click here to sample two rough chapters from the book in progress. I am Kickstarting this project because:

A.) I want to try this Kickstarter thing! I'm super nervous right now.

B.) I don't actually have a pile of money laying around to publish a book. And even if I used a Print-on-Demand service...

C.) Part of the money will go towards my time making the book. If I only do this thing in my spare time it will take a lot longer than if I can get some financial backing.

It seemed it was time to make the authoritative satirical book on bear safety. I have about four chapters completed of a planned twelve. 

Below are the currently planned chapters of the book, though I have a feeling it will expand and mutate as I continue, only getting more awesome:

  • Chapter 1: An Introduction to Bears—The basics of bear biology, habits, wrestling moves, and how they plan to kill us all. 
  • Chapter 2: Basic Bear Attacks—The basic attacks of bears from the claw swipe to the spinning piledriver. 
  • Chapter 3: Advanced Bear Attacks—Advanced bear attacks that have been witnessed by very few including wizardry, tsunamis, and plagues. 
  • Chapter 4: How to Be Prepared——Ways to be ready before a bear shows up to kill you.
Bears are all about illegal moves
Bears are all about illegal moves
  • Chapter 5: Bear Stealth Techniques —Places bears are hiding you never even thought of.
  • Chapter 6: What to Do in a Bear Attack—When a bear is attacking you, these are your options.
  • Chapter 7: A Guide to Bear Fighting—Some of the common counter-attacks and fighting techniques to use against bears.
  • Chapter 8: Bear Spray and Other Lies—Dispelling the common myths and misconceptions about bears.
  • Chapter 9: Rare Bear Species—Rare and undocumented bear species, their origins, habits and potential threat. 
Bears love finishing with a good piledriver
Bears love finishing with a good piledriver
  • Chapter 10: Bear News; True Stories That Went Unreported—A collection of true stories about bears so unbelievable the mainstream media hid them from the public. 
  • Chapter 11: How to Defeat a Bear—The shortest chapter in the book. 
  • Chapter 12: Further Information—Additional materials and information. 

The book will be around 200 pages and packed with illustrations, charts and informative graphics.

REWARDS

E-reader edition
E-reader edition
Softcover edition
Softcover edition
Hardcover edition
Hardcover edition

 Get that puppy signed and drawn in!

Bear Safety Sticker Pack
Bear Safety Sticker Pack
Bear Safety Prints
Bear Safety Prints

 Also known as the poster pack.

I'll draw a bear in your book with my own real hands!
I'll draw a bear in your book with my own real hands!
"Majestic Piledriver" 16" x 20" Limited print run, signed canvas
"Majestic Piledriver" 16" x 20" Limited print run, signed canvas
Bearbituary
Bearbituary
Be a TOP TEN BEAR FIGHTER
Be a TOP TEN BEAR FIGHTER

 Or if you are a really big spender, you can have the book dedicated to you and committed to your memory.

Got questions? Feel free to post them in the FAQ's. If you are interested in custom original art as part of your order, please join my Patreon

STRETCH GOALS!

I'm thrilled to have made it into the FUNDED category. The truth about the initial 12k is it will cover my expenses at a a basic level. After I make all the bonus materials, buy all the shipping supplies and pay all the shipping, it'll be close to breaking even. Of course, I will have leftover books. I have to print around 800-1000 books to make it worth my while, so there will be future money to be made on those. But stretch goals determine the quality of those books.  

So, to start, the book at the 12k level will be a black and white interior. ACHIEVED.

Black and White, basic option
Black and White, basic option

If we hit 15k, I'll do a red and black ink interior. ACHIEVED!

15k: Red and black Ink
15k: Red and black Ink

If we hit 20k, I'll do full color.  ACHIEVED!

20k FULL COLOR INTERIOR
20k FULL COLOR INTERIOR

From there we'll upgrade the exterior.  

At 22k I'll do a FOIL STAMP on the hardcover (beneath the dust jacket) which will make it look extra snazzy. ACHIEVED!

At 25K I will add a fold-out insert with a map or chart of important bear information. ACHIEVED!

At 30K I will add a cool slipcase to the hardcover edition! 

Here's one idea...
Here's one idea...
Here's another idea!
Here's another idea!

 We can cross the design bridge when we get there, but for now, please share this with anyone you know who needs to know more about bears!

Thanks for getting me past my iitial goal!

Risks and challenges

The greatest risk I'm taking in making this book is bears. Bears are a very secretive species and, even though they will still inevitably win their war on mankind, they like to retain the element of surprise. Bears are going to do everything they can to stop this book from production. That is why most of the money I make on this book will go toward security and creating a bear-proof bunker to finish writing the book in. Stretch goals will include a bear-digestion-proof suit so that I can attempt to complete the book from inside a bear if it comes to that.

Other risks and challenges:
If this thing just barely funds, I will still have to do other work to pay the bills while I work on it, which will slow things down. I have never done a printing like this before and I will have to find space for the surplus of books depending on what kind of print run I end up doing, and how many are ordered. One of the biggest risks is trying to determine the actual price of things including shipping and not coming out in the red. I've heard that is one of the hardest things to get right. My hope is to over-fund, but the minimum goal is the least I'll accept to try something this crazy.

If I don't fund, I may attempt to finish the book in my spare time and print it on demand, but I really want to self-publish something!

The time estimations are for me to finish the book in about six months and to allow for about six months for printing because I'll be using a company that prints out of China and that takes time!

Learn about accountability on Kickstarter

Questions about this project? Check out the FAQ

Support

  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $10 or more About $10

    Digital Copy of Book

    You get a digital version of the book as soon as it is completed, easily read on your favorite device.

    Includes:
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    57 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  2. Select this reward

    Pledge $20 or more About $20

    PAPERBACK & DIGITAL BOOK

    You'll get a paperback copy of BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU along with a digital copy.

    Includes:
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    66 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  3. Select this reward

    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    SOFTCOVER, DIGITAL & STICKERS!

    The paperback and digital book plus a pack of Kickstarter-only BEAR SAFETY STICKERS!

    Includes:
    • Bear Safety Sticker Pack
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    41 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  4. Select this reward

    Pledge $35 or more About $35

    LIMITED ED. HARDCOVER PACK

    You'll get a SIGNED and NUMBERED limited edition hardcover copy of BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU, along with the digital version, exclusive sticker pack and YOUR NAME WILL BE LISTED AMONG THE FALLEN

    Includes:
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Ltd. Ed. SIGNED Hardcover Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Bear Safety Sticker Pack
    • Listed Among the Fallen
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    205 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  5. Select this reward

    Pledge $35 or more About $35

    SOFT COVER, DIGITAL and POSTERS

    The paperback and digital book plus a pack of Kickstarter-only BEAR SAFETY POSTERS!

    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    10 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  6. Select this reward

    Pledge $55 or more About $55

    3 PAPERBACK COPIES

    Three paperback copies of Bears Want to Kill You.

    Includes:
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Only United States
    3 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  7. Select this reward

    Pledge $55 or more About $55

    One of Each!

    ONE OF EACH: Signed BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU hardcover AND paperback, two bear safety sticker packs, one poster pack, digital edition, AND be named among the fallen.

    Includes:
    • Ltd. Ed. SIGNED Hardcover Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Bear Safety Sticker Pack
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Listed Among the Fallen
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Bear Safety Poster Pack
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    71 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  8. Select this reward

    Pledge $125 or more About $125

    Original bear drawing in the hardcover

    You get a signed AND illustrated page in BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU hardcover AS WELL AS ONE paperback, two bear safety sticker packs, one bear safety poster pack, the digital edition, AND be named among the fallen.

    PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Patreon members get their drawing on a separate piece of illustration board and can request anything they want in the drawing. All others will get a bear illustration inside of the book.

    Includes:
    • Bear Safety Sticker Pack
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Ltd. Ed. SIGNED Hardcover Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Drawing inside the front cover
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Bear Safety Poster Pack
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    Limited 24 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  9. Select this reward

    Pledge $225 or more About $225

    Majestic Piledriver Canvas Print

    Get the limited edition "Majestic Piledriver" nature painting, printed on canvas, wrapped on a wood frame, signed and shipped to your door.

    You also get a signed AND illustrated page in BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU hardcover AS WELL AS ONE paperback, two bear safety sticker packs, one bear safety poster pack, the digital edition, AND be named among the fallen.

    PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Patreon members get their drawing on a separate piece of illustration board and can request anything they want in the drawing. All others will get a bear illustration inside of the book.

    Due to the size and shape of this item shipping is a bit more spendy, especially on internatonal orders.

    Includes:
    • Bear Safety Poster Pack
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Listed Among the Fallen
    • Drawing inside the front cover
    • Ltd. Ed. SIGNED Hardcover Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Bear Safety Sticker Pack
    • Majestic Piledriver Canvas Print
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    Limited 12 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  10. Select this reward

    Pledge $300 or more About $300

    BEARBITUARY

    Immortalize yourself! Get your own special “In memory of” blurb that breifly describes the horrible way you were slain by bears (written by Ethan Nicolle) in the actual book! (approx. 240 words, no photo) along with signed BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU hardcover AND two paperbacks, two bear safety sticker packs, bear safety poster pack, and digital edition.

    Includes:
    • Bearbituary personalized write up
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Ltd. Ed. SIGNED Hardcover Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Bear Safety Sticker Pack
    • Bear Safety Poster Pack
    • Drawing inside the front cover
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    Limited 9 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  11. Select this reward

    Pledge $1,000 or more About $1,000

    TOP TEN BEAR FIGHTERS

    Be featured with a photo in a one-page story in a section in memory of the top 10 most daring and impressive bear attack victims, part of the actual finished book. Comes with signed BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU hardcover AND three paperbacks, two bear safety sticker packs, a bear safety poster pack and digital edition. SHIPPING INCLUDED

    Includes:
    • TOP TEN Bear fighter story (limit 9)
    • Bear Safety Sticker Pack
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Ltd. Ed. SIGNED Hardcover Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Bear Safety Poster Pack
    • Drawing inside the front cover
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    Limited 3 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  12. Select this reward

    Pledge $5,000 or more About $5,000

    DEDICATED HERO

    This book will be dedicated to you as the person most likely to survive a bear attack but still died. You will get everything in the TOP TEN BEAR FIGHTER portion as well as a chat on the phone about your featured bear encounter story, which will be a two-page spread with photo, plus the dedication page at the beginning of the book. Comes with TWO signed hardcovers and 5 softcovers to share with friends and family, as well as five sticker packs. and three poster packs. SHIPPING INCLUDED

    Includes:
    • Bear Safety Sticker Pack
    • Digital Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Ltd. Ed. SIGNED Hardcover Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • Paperback Edition of Bears Want to Kill You
    • #1 BEAR FIGHTER
    • Bear Safety Poster Pack
    • Drawing inside the front cover
    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    Limited 0 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.

Funding period

- (30 days)