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$198,111
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1,662
backers
Funding Canceled
Funding for this project was canceled by the project creator on Dec 18 2018
Purple Meeple GamesBy Purple Meeple Games
First created
Purple Meeple GamesBy Purple Meeple Games
First created
$198,111
pledged of $278,000pledged of $278,000 goal
1,662
backers
Funding Canceled
Funding for this project was canceled by the project creator on Dec 18 2018

The story of the Monument

Posted by Purple Meeple Games (Creator)
29 likes

Greetings, investigators!

If you click on the illustrations of the Script Book on the Kickstarter main page (or on this link), you can read some stories of the narrative game mode. In order not to spoil you, we didn’t add the effects to the sample texts; we’d only like to show the atmosphere, the literary quality and depth which could make Cultistorm special. There will be flash fiction stories not only for cultist encounters, but also for every investigators, cultist casts, relics, Great Old Ones and locations.

Let us introduce you the story of the Monument.

The story of the huge rock formation that rose on a cliff of Morblehead, a town in the vicinity of Salem was rather unsettling. The cliff bore the name of Morblehead Rock and the Monument appeared on it out of thin air. The locals have very vivid and unequivocal memories about the origin of the Monument, stories parents have passed down to their children for generations. You can ask anyone in the town, they’ll tell you almost exactly the same story.

It happened sometime in the beginning of the 1800s that a local fisherman discovered a seemingly bottomless, vertical hole among the rocks of the island. This hole had a wall which was as smooth as the surface of mirrors. As the news spread, many people arrived to see the mysterious place, there were even daring adventurers who tried to descended into the depth of the hole, but there were never enough rope to get them to the bottom or at least to allow a glimpse to where the gaping abyss ended. After a feverish few months, the excitement began to die down and life went back to normal. Locals named the hole “the gate of hell” and with that, they almost forgot about it. Not much later Peter and Stephen Smith, the teenaged twin sons of the respectable Morblehead blacksmith, rowed their boat to Morblehead Rock to have a good look at “the gate of hell” because they’d heard a lot about it in town.

However, only one of the boys returned from the adventure. Something unexplainable turned Peter’s skin completely yellow and it stayed the same papyrus hue for the rest of his life. He could never utter a meaningful word afterwards, all he could do was stutter. Hours after his return, when he stopped shaking and his fright was somewhat soothed, he wrote on a piece of paper what had happened to him on the cliff. According to his testimony, they didn’t notice anything menacing upon their arrival. They examined the edge of the vertical hole and its mirror-smooth sides. They threw some stones and twigs into the abyss, but they didn’t hear the sound of impact which would have signalled that the objects they’d thrown in reached the bottom of the pit. They were about to go, when Stephen heard a deafeningly high-pitched noise, he covered his ears with his hands and his face grew distorted from pain. Peter looked at his brother in confusion because he heard nothing at all.

The next moment, Stephen threw his arms towards the sky and chanted in an unintelligible tongue. It provoked such horrible sensations in Peter he’d never felt before. Stephen trembled, then ran as fast as he could towards the hole and threw himself into the bottomless abyss without the slightest sign of doubt. It happened so fast that Peter had no time to comprehend what just happened in front of his eyes. He ran after his brother and as he leaned over the edge of the hole, a blinding and burning ray of light shot from the abyss towards the sky, straight into Peter’s face. In this hellish light Peter saw inhuman faces and creatures, alien landscapes that radiated endless peace and terrifying emptiness at the same time. Peter couldn’t say how long the phenomenon had lasted, but since people in the town also saw the column of light, we can rely on their word that it went on for only a few minutes.

After Peter finished writing his testimony with trembling hands, the family and the gathered neighbours all ran to the cliff. The hole was gone as if it had never existed, however, in its place rose a tower of rocks with vertical walls. The family, the relatives and friends tried to blow the tower up, to break it, to demolish it, but however hard they tried, they couldn’t even scratch it. Two weeks later its shape started changing. First it was barely noticeable, but the change had begun even though for a long time the shape remained unrecognisable. In the following year the rock kept changing, it became more contoured and recognisable. It reached its current form one and a half year after the incident. Many scientists have visited it ever since, they drew sketches, tried to find similarities with the characters from ancient myths and legends, but since nobody proved successful.

Peter rowed over to the cliff every day long after the incident and he watched the shapeless material of mysterious origin take its current shape. After his death, Peter’s relatives read in his diary that he thought his brother had been devoured by unfamiliar, ancient gods, and he thought to recognise Stephen’s face in the inhumanly strange face of the rock. What is more, sometimes he thought to have heard his laughter from somewhere below the foundation of the Monument. Peter was convinced that his brother got to a good place and in some strange way this unexplainable tragedy could turn out to be a blessing one day.

We hope you liked the story. You’ll find almost 400 more similar stories in the Script Book complementing the narrative gameplay.

Dada Fisherman, Alluidh, and 27 more people like this update.

Comments

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    1. Missing avatar

      Leif Stensson
      Superbacker
      on

      Another detail: "Morblehead, a town in the vicinity of Salem". There appears to be an actual town named *Marblehead* in the vicinity of Salem. Is that just a mistake, or are you trying to anonymize the name by changing a letter? In the latter case, that feels more like comedy writing than Lovecraft.

    2. Missing avatar

      Chris Poor on

      I agree. I love love love the idea of this game, and the attempt to include Lovecraft in the game in more than just a weird monster mini way, but the writing is being sold as the core of the game, and while the ideas are good, the execution breaks the immersion. Needs to be carefully edited by a native English speaker, or these stories will be skimmed and summarized after a few games.

    3. Amber DuBois
      Superbacker
      on

      400 stories, similar to that? Oof.

    4. Missing avatar

      Leif Stensson
      Superbacker
      on

      Sorry to say this, but the quality of the writing isn't very good. I suppose nobody expects literary masterpieces in a game, but if you're making a special point of the fact that you include these kind of stories and use them as examples in the KS campaign, that level of writing doesn't give an especially good impression.

      As a few people have already pointed out, there are some grammar errors, but there are also numerous awkward places where the story might be trying to imitate Lovecraft's style of evoking mysterious images, but which instead just end up odd and immersion-breaking. It's also a bit disjointed, mentioning new things without explanation, and jumping abruptly between topics, despite the writing style suggesting someone (possibly an academic, going by the phrasing "*we* can rely on their word") is retelling a story they have found out about quite a while after it happened.

      Some examples of things you might want to fix:

      - "a local fisherman discovered a seemingly bottomless, vertical hole among the rocks of the island" -- the word "vertical" doesn't really seem to add much to the description (deep holes would have to be somewhat vertical, otherwise they would be tunnels rather than holes)... and how is the hole "among the rocks"? That makes it sound like the hole is an object lying on the ground together with the rocks. It also makes it sound the hole is fairly small, like a few decimeters across, if it's able to be hidden so it had to be "discovered among the rocks", but later in the text, is sounds like it's several meters across. Also, "the island"? Previously, the text just mentioned a town, but now it's an island? Is the town on the island, or is the town on the coast and the island outside of town?

      - "Locals named the hole “the gate of hell” and with that, they almost forgot about it. Not much later Peter and Stephen Smith, ..., rowed their boat to Morblehead Rock to have a good look at “the gate of hell” because they’d heard a lot about it in town." -- How did they manage to hear a lot about if the locals had almost forgotten about it?

      - "alien landscapes that radiated endless peace and terrifying emptiness at the same time". -- Usually, "at the same time" in this kind of context would be used to indicate that two seemingly contradictory things were happening despite being contradictory, but there's no contradiction between peace and emptiness.

      - "The hole was gone as if it had never existed, however, in its place rose a tower of rocks with vertical walls." -- "Vertical" again? Towers quite normally have vertical walls, and walls generally are usually vertical. If they were *not* vertical it would be worth mentioning, but here "with vertical walls" just dilutes the text with more words without adding any meaning.

      - "The family, the relatives and friends tried to blow the tower up, to break it, to demolish it, but however hard they tried, they couldn’t even scratch it." -- The story says it's set in the beginning of the 1800s; what did they use to try to blow up the tower? Dynamite wasn't invented until the late 1800s, and anyway, why would explosives be readily available in a small coastal town? (And why doesn't the story say anything about why the locals wanted to destroy the tower? Sure, maybe they were afraid or something, but wouldn't that be exactly the kind of thing a Lovecraft-style story would mention?)

    5. Justin Rockwood
      Superbacker
      on

      I assume this is a sample? There are several grammatical errors that should be fixed. But the story is interesting. :)

    6. Daniel Ebeck on

      This, along with every other piece of text I’ve read, both on KS and your website, needs to be seen by a professional editor. The stories are good, but the quality of English isn’t. It’s apparent that the writers are not native English speakers. This needs to be addressed before production.

    7. Andres on

      any news about the translation of the stories?