What the HELL is it Now? - One Baby Boomer's Opinion
The frustrating things about Women, War, Religion, Sex and Politics. And how I would fix everything.
This project will only be funded if it reaches its goal by Sun, July 29 2018 11:51 PM UTC +00:00.
This project began as a response to a book that a lady friend of mine was writing. Her book was basically about how men are idiots and have no clue about how to please a lady. While that may be somewhat true, I thought it was very condescending. After I read her manuscript I felt that a male-written "rebuttal" book was in order, and this is the result.
My book started out being about male and female relationship issues, but as I was writing, I thought of a whole bunch of other issues that bug me. It now has 35 topics!
Besides "complaining" about a bunch of issues, I offer some advice, encouragement and some solutions. A few times I go into a "sermon" mode which I hope is not too preachy. (I've always thought being a preacher would be cool since you have a captive audience and you get to share your thoughts.) A few of my solutions are a little crazy, but every change in our society has started with just an idea - even some crazy ones. I think some of my ideas are unique. They would save some time and money. And maybe even some lives.
I think you will enjoy my sense of humor. Most of my friends do - once they get to know me. If I had what it takes to be a stand-up comedian, or if CBS were to hire me to take over the Andy Rooney segment on "60 Minutes," these would be some of my bits.
The writing is done. I'm currently doing more proof reading, making minor edits and getting it illustrated. I've hired a young artist from Chicago who has promised to have an illustration for each chapter completed by September 1st.
Ideas can change the world. You can read all of my ideas for only $10.
Here is a little bit about me...
OK. I WOULD THINK THAT THE VIDEO AND WHAT YOU HAVE READ SO FAR IS ENOUGH INFORMATION FOR YOU TO DECIDE IF YOU WANT THE GET BOOK FOR A MEASLY $10.
BUT IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE, HERE IS THE LIST OF THE CHAPTERS THAT YOU COULDN'T READ IN THE VIDEO, ALONG WITH A SHORT TAGLINE:
1. Stupid Adam - Since Adam was a wuss and ate the apple that Eve found, we are doomed.
2. At least I'm getting free dinners - The incredible old fashioned attitude that lots of women still have.
3. What are you, a whore? - Let's be realistic here. What are the actual economic dynamics of dating?
4. Aren't you done with sufferance yet? - Come on! We've heard all this before.
5. Everything is up to women anyway - Who really controls a marriage proposal?
6. Why didn't Hillary dump Bill's ass? - She could have been President.
7. War. What's it good for? - The world's biggest waste of money.
8. Patriotism or stupidity? - Why the army likes to recruit stupid people.
9. Would it fun to be a Muslim man? - Would it really be fun to have a woman who couldn't talk?
10. Gun control - The 2nd amendment needs some amending. The NRA needs to stop being such a cry baby and be reasonable.
11. Rich people - Why they don't give a s**t about anyone else.
12. How to fix the economy - My simple solution for making everything more affordable.
13. Out of the woodwork - Women are like lemmings! They just line up when some guy is accused of sexual advances.
14. Get some pepper spray - Take care of that jerk now!
15. How to avoid being shot by police - The very simple no brainer solution to avoid being beat up or killed by a cop.
16. How to know if your religion is OK - This is another no brainer, but unfortunately people with a phony religion have no brains.
17. How to enjoy life - The answer is very simple and needs repeating.
18. My solution for world peace - A bit radical, but you wouldn't really care after it was implemented.
19. The Mars and Venus thing - Intriguing book, but offers no solution.
20. My best lesson in college - A college cafeteria incident that summarizes all of humanity's problems.
21. Trump - that rich spoiled brat - Not your model human being. Total lack of charm and humility, plus he really needs teleprompter lessons.
22. Eminent Domain - City government can take away your beautiful home if they want to build a shopping center.
23. 200 miles per gallon! - There are some wonderful things that are being kept from us, all because of greed.
24. So, what's your agenda? - We all have an agenda - even if your goal in life is not to stir the pot and do nothing.
PLUS 11 Short Chapter Ideas - one page each or less
1. Give more power to the police!
2. Immigration - a letter to the Mexican government
3. Speeding up justice
4. Prison reform
5. Income tax
6. Traffic congestion
7. Government employee benefits
8. National isolation
11. Area 51
After reading these chapter titles, you might think I'm grumpy all the time. But I'm really not. I'm quite a mellow guy. There are lots of calm, relaxed moments in my book. Here is a video of me reading a poem that is included in the book, that shows you how mellow I am:
Besides the above poem, the book contains the words to two songs I wrote about women. One of those women was my wife of 25 years and the other woman was the recent one who dumped me and inspired me to write my book. I will send all contributors a link to them on Vimeo, should you wish to hear them performed.
FOR THOSE WHO STILL WANT TO KNOW EVEN MORE AND GET A GLIMPSE OF MY LOGIC - HERE ARE SOME SHORT SNIPPETS FROM THE BOOK. EACH CHAPTER IS ABOUT 4 PAGES.
(Warning - I sometimes use bad words in the book. I don't like to use them, but sometimes a word that you can't say on TV is needed for the right emphasis. I have bleeped the really bad ones in these samples)
Chapter 1 - Stupid Adam
You all know how this story goes.
In the beginning God created everything and it was good. He created man and then He created woman. She was sort of an afterthought. Adam liked Eve very much and they were really happy living totally off the land without a care in the world. They were both naked and the woman didn't even bitch about not having enough shoes. God gave them one very simple instruction about a particular tree. They were to leave it alone. But Satan tempted the gullible Eve into eating the forbidden fruit on the tree. Nothing happened right then, but Eve told Adam about it.
Much to humanity's chagrin, Adam was a wuss! Instead of obeying God and telling Eve to put the apple back, he joined Eve in eating the forbidden fruit. Well, holy crap! God finds out about this, gets really pissed, puts a curse on Adam and Eve and all the rest of humanity to come. And since then, men and women haven't had it very easy.
This would not be the only time that a man would do something stupid - especially when something is presented to him by a naked woman.
Chapter 3 - What are you, a whore?
I've found that one of the most variable elements of dating is who will pay for the meal. A lot of women see a date as a joint venture, while some are adamant about sticking to the traditions from the previous century. In other words, the don't think they should spend a dime and that the man should always foot the bill. Well, that latter idea has got to go. Let me point out something:
It is sort of an understanding that on the third date a couple will have sex. Or not. If the physical magic doesn't happen by the third date, then a couple can conclude that it never will. Hopefully the expenses were shared, but most men are glad to pay for the first three dates. But if there isn't any sex happening, any man with self respect will insist on going Dutch treat. If he continues to pay for stuff, then he has become a really stupid sugar daddy.
If the man and the woman have sex on the third date, and the guy continues to pay for all the costs of the date, then the woman has basically become a whore. Most women see sex as doing a favor for the guy and so she is offering her body in exchange for the value of the meal, or whatever.
Now if the woman continues to date the man without having sex with him, and still never chips in, then she is being a really bad whore.
But if the woman has sex with the man AND cheerfully chips in all the time like a modern liberated woman, then you have a truly wonderful, mutual relationship, and she is being a very fair lady - who is not a whore.
Chapter 10 - Gun control
Look, the 2nd amendment came about because the imperialistic and jealous people of England had red coats marching all around, and the colonists needed to protect themselves. And back then you only had a musket with one shot and then it took a long time to load another round. If Uzzis or Tommy guns were around then, I bet the 2nd amendment would have had some specific language about them - such as "Only the military will be allowed to have rapid fire automatic weapons. Those weapons are for war use only. Using them to hunt ducks is really unfair to the duck."
Chapter 15 - How to avoid being shot by police
The solution is so simple. Here is the answer: STOP MOVING AND SHUT UP.
If you resist being arrested and shout "You f**king pig!" that does not improve your situation. That is being so stupid, it may be part of the reason you may get shot. A very fed up policeman with hemorrhoids may not be reasonable at all times, and he or she probably thinks that it's not such a bad thing to rid the world of such a total dumb s**t.
Chapter 17 - How to enjoy life
Isn't it amazing how some people who are missing limbs or who are blind or even have a terminal illness can enjoy life? The cup half full or half empty thing says a lot about our attitude. To be joyful or pessimistic is a choice we totally get to make. We alone adopt our demeanor.
There's a saying that says that you should always smile - it will make people wonder what you have been up to.
As for my own advice on how to enjoy life, one of the key things is to hang with happy positive people. If you have grumpy souls in your circle of friends, wish them well and say good bye. Think of that one bad apple that can spoil a whole barrel.
Additional idea #2 - Immigration - a letter to the Mexican government:
"It is obvious that your country really sucks since so many of your people are willing to risk their lives to illegally move into the United States and take all of our low paying jobs. How about skipping a few siestas and get your s**t together like a responsible nation? What the hell is wrong with you guys? It's your duty to eliminate all the corruption, drug cartels and gangs that has turned your country into a big s**t hole. Please make your country a nicer place to live!"
Additional idea #3 - Speeding up justice
Our justice system is a joke. A trial is nothing more than a theatrical show put on by blood sucking lawyers with no scruples. They can lie about anything, trying to prove innocence, even if their client is guilty. And the trial can go on for months! Under my plan each murder case would only last 30 minutes. The trial would not utilize any lawyers. It would just be the accused taking a polygraph test in front of an odd number of jurors. The accused would be asked a standard set of questions based on the alleged crime. 20 minutes should be enough. Then to determine the verdict, the jurors without any discussion, would give a thumbs up or thumbs down. A simple majority of thumbs down, would mean a guilty conviction and end the trial. Then the appointed sentence for the specific crime would be read. Hmm, guess you could even eliminate the judge too.
Additional idea #9 - Unions
Just like Walt Disney, I don't think that unions are a good thing. Unions establish an adversarial relationship between employers and employees. It should be the government's job to monitor working conditions and wages, and then slap on huge fines to employers who aren't being fair to their employees. 100% of those fines would be given to the employees. This would force employers to be nice. As a trade-off for having this system in place, employers could fire anyone they wanted without any reason.
And so, aren't you just a little curious to read the full text of all my opinions?
July 14 - I've removed the $5 reward of a Kindle version of the book, because it is now on Amazon. Just go to Amazon and search for John Primm.
And finally here is one last video - it's one of the songs in the book. The unnamed lady is the one whose own book inspired me to start my book. I wrote this before she dumped me. The actual dump that I knew would eventually come really hurt, but this song made it easier for me to deal with it. You've got to be able to laugh at the stuff that once hurt.
Risks and challenges
The only risk to you is that you won't like my book. If you don't like it, sorry about that. You never know. I've been disappointed by some Kickstarter projects I supported, but that's life. I almost guarantee it will make you laugh in some places. There might even be $10 worth of laughter.
The book will be shipped as soon as the drawings are inserted and the books are printed.
I've set what I think is a modest goal of having 250 backers who each buy a book for $10. I chose 250 because according to some research I did, the average self-published book only sells 250 copies. But if that goal isn't reached, I will still self-publish the book and you should be able to purchase the book on Amazon. If there are more than 250 backers, that would be very cool. I'll be very glad to have written something that actually gets read by people outside of my own family.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter