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The Official book to not surviving the invasion of the Space Monsters Read more

Glen Burnie, MD Fiction
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This project was successfully funded on March 26, 2014.

The Official book to not surviving the invasion of the Space Monsters

Glen Burnie, MD Fiction
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About this project

Deep space telemetry has discovered a nebulous cloud of what appears to be space debris heading towards Earth. The space debris is the good news, so if you were already on the edge of your seat you had better prepare for the good stuff. The space debris is actually home to a collective of alien races who have discovered that Earth is full of delicious looking Humans. They are coming to eat us, and our chances of survival are basically nonexistent. 

Since you're going to die anyway, this field guide has been assembled with things you can do to make yourself taste better. This way you can be sure to get eaten first, and you won't have to worry about trying to survive the hellish nightmare that is about to become our reality. The field guide breaks down behaviors that will attract different races of aliens, so you can choose exactly how you are devoured when the time comes. This way you can stand with your head held high and say "come and get me, monster!" instead of scrambling for your life and clutching some empty hope that somehow you will get through this invasion. 

Hi. My name is Russell Holly, and I have never done anything like this before. I'm a technology blogger who has always wanted to try a bit of science fiction, but has never gotten far enough to hit the publish button. I'm also about as artistically inclined as a sea slug, and have never been able to create art to go along with my story. That's actually not fair, I don't know anything about the artistic capabilities of sea slugs. If you are a sea slug and are reading this, please accept my most humble apologies.

The GETRI Incident Report
The GETRI Incident Report

 Update - I've added a new reward, thanks to the efforts of Liam Spradlin (https://plus.google.com/u/0/+LiamSpradlin/

Risks and challenges

This book represents a life long dream of mine, and with your help we can make something cool happen. This book will be a satirical journey into the terrible behaviors we see on a day to day basis, and making it clear that the best way to get devoured by a horde of aliens with a serious case of the munchies is to keep doing these terrible things. I'm putting my heart and soul into this, and I hope you are willing to help.

Right now I need a lot of things, but the first thing I need is an artist. Someone I can hand money to and allow them to turn the words in my brain into amazing visual references for you. I'm talking graphs, charts, visualizations of exactly how the space monsters will invade your body and devour you bite by bite, and of course a pretty cover. Gotta have a pretty cover, it's in the rule book. After talking to a lot of fantastic artists, I've decided to work with Aaron Wood, who you may know as JustOneScarf Design on Etsy (https://www.etsy.com/shop/Justonescarf). Aaron's work has drawn me in for the last two years that I have been digitally acquainted with him, and his excitement when he heard the details surrounding this book came so close to my own that I know he'll be a perfect fit.

The ideas for this book have been rattling around in my brain for two years now, and I am confident that with an artist I can turn this noise in my brain into a book for your enjoyment. I'm going to release the digital version of the book completely DRM free, and the physical version of the book will be printed paperback. I'm going to be printing the physical copy of the book through LuLu.com, and while I have yet to choose a copy editor because of how early in the process this is I have several who are all too willing to help for a reasonable fee.

It wouldn't be a Kickstarter without stretch goals! Right now the book will have a color cover but be black and white on the inside. If I reach $6,000 I will change that to color for all of the artwork in the book. If I reach $10,000 I will make a hardcover version of the book available to those who would prefer that over paperback.

Thank you all for even just reading this far. I look forward to delivering something fun for all of you. Except you, Lucas. You know what you did.

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Rewards

  • You selected
    Pledge $10 or more

    57 backers

    A digital copy of the book, delivered with the hope that your eBook reader, smartphone, tablet, or computer will still have power when the Space Monsters arrive.

    Estimated delivery:
  • You selected
    Pledge $20 or more

    27 backers

    A physical copy of the book that can be summoned at any time, regardless of your access to power or Internet, but could still be destroyed by fire, water, wild animals, or my friend Tim after I kick his ass in Halo. Seriously Tim, I'm still pissed and you still owe me a book. Jerk.

    Estimated delivery:
    Ships anywhere in the world
  • You selected
    Pledge $40 or more

    30 backers

    A signed copy of the physical copy of the book, as well as a digital copy of the book. I figure this way you have your bases covered as best you can, and in the event that you survive the first wave you might even be able to use my signature as barter for something. I have terrible penmanship, so you can just tell them it's someone famous.

    Estimated delivery:
    Only ships to: United States
  • You selected
    Pledge $40 or more

    10 backers Limited (15 left of 25)

    A signed copy of the physical copy of the book, as well as a digital copy of the book. This option is for backers who are not in the US, but would still like to meet the Space Monster horde with dignity and maybe a pile of napkins so whichever horrifying beast you choose to appeal to can clean up afterwards. You're so polite and thoughtful!

    Estimated delivery:
    Ships anywhere in the world
  • You selected
    Pledge $75 or more

    10 backers Limited (15 left of 25)

    Proof of your death at the hands of the space monsters in the form of an official GETRI Incident Report. This report will be written specifically for you, and printed on high quality paper.

    Also includes signed copy of the physical copy of the book, as well as a digital copy of the book. You won't ever read either of them, because you'll be so busy showing everyone proof of your death that you'll use up all the time you have left.

    Estimated delivery:
    Ships anywhere in the world
  • You selected
    Pledge $100 or more

    9 backers Limited (1 left of 10)

    Two signed copies of the physical version of the book, as well as access to my Hangout schedule so you can check in on me and see how the book is coming. No guarantee that what you will see in those Hangouts will be pretty, and there's a reasonable chance that I will yell at you if you make noise while I am in the zone.

    Joking aside there's a reasonable chance the people in the Hangouts with me will be mentioned occasionally in the book. After all, gotta have victims right?

    Estimated delivery:
    Only ships to: United States
  • You selected
    Pledge $1,000 or more

    0 backers Limited (3 left of 3)

    Direct involvement in the book, as well as up to five signed copies to do whatever you want with. This is your best chance for survival, because you can keep one in a plastic baggie and use the others to make a fire or defend yourself in situations where that might be necessary.

    You'll be invited to private Hangouts, have access to my entire workflow, and have a say in several key points in the book. You'll also be in a special section of the book, which I will dedicate to important people.

    Estimated delivery:
    Only ships to: United States

Funding period

- (30 days)