About this project
In Loving Memory of Jamie.
To create an album of music based on my journey through grief and finding hope, after losing my 18 month old son, Jamie. I will donate the album to The charity Red Nose, to distribute, for free, to any bereaved parents who wish to use it. It will be available for sale to the General Public, with all proceeds going back into Red Nose (formerly known as SIDS and Kids). This album will be available Globally.
To find out more about this wonderful organisation, click on this link.
The album will be comprised of 12 songs, all relating to the subject of losing a child. It's designed as a helpful tool for bereaved parents, should they wish to explore this avenue of healing. My hope is that it will not only provide some comfort and understanding to the parents, but to the many others involved in the process (Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Friends etc). Many of the songs are generic, so it could prove helpful for anyone suffering any kind of grief.
In 2010, I faced the worst fate a mother can comprehend- my 18 month old son died suddenly and unexpectedly in his sleep. It was completely unexpected and devastatingly painful. No mother ever expects to lose her child; to be the one to put the lid on their child’s coffin. However, I was suddenly faced with the harsh reality that this does indeed happen… and it happens more than we would care to conceive.
After losing my son, the weeks and months churned by, and I did my best to trudge through my grief and trauma. I found so much solace within the charity Red Nose. They offered my husband and I free counselling during our darkest moments following our child’s sudden death. They offer bereavement support to anyone who has lost a child, through any circumstance. Our SIDS counsellor Marybeth, even attended the morgue and the funeral with us, for moral support, which was so greatly appreciated at that time. Especially when my family is in the UK and my husband had lost both of his parents. That’s why I want all the proceeds from the album to go to them.
I found much of my healing in music, both in playing and listening. I have always loved music and I believe that music has a healing power. As I took my own journey, I was saddened to find a huge lack in music written by and for bereaved parents. Most of the emotionally compelling songs, were about relationship breakups or loss of a spouse or parent. I wanted to hear firsthand from another parent who had been through this turmoil and heartache. I wanted to be soothed by music that really understood my pain and I wanted to feel like I was not alone. I also needed to hear that there was a ray of hope… that someday, life could be okay/normal again. At this time in my life, I sincerely felt like my life was over- like there was no reason to carry on with my life’s purpose. Small rays of hope were all I had to cling to at this stage.
On the 20th July, I will launch this campaign, in the hope of raising $25,000, which will enable me to create this album.
All proceeds from the album will be donated to Red Nose.
The funds from this campaign will pay for the hire of a professional studio, equipment hire, sound engineering, hire of professional musicians, time with a professional Music Producer who will help me refine, produce and mix, assist in marketing costs, production and supply and any additional costs that will go into setting up the sale of the album online. All proceeds of the sales will go back into Red Nose.
Any additional/leftover funds from this campaign will also go back into the charity.
I have 12 songs ready to be recorded and I hope to be able to produce them in the quality they deserve, to give back to Red Nose.
Below are some examples of my songs. I would like to be able to take time in the studio to Mix and Master them to their full potential to share with Red Nose.
1. Sleep Little One
This is a demo called Sleep little one, written as a lullaby to my precious son, Jamie. It was at the time in my journey when I realised I had to somehow let go. I wrote it in this lullaby style to signify my belief that we might one day meet again.
Crossroads is a song I wrote about not giving up hope at a time that feels completely hopeless. I came to realise that it's when we are at our lowest points in life, that it is actually a great opportunity for us to rise and to shine.
This is a song called Butterfly, about butterflies coming to visit me after Jamie passed away. I recorded this with the music producer Mike Caen in a couple of hours, doing the bare minimum we could with it. It’s a raw version of just piano and vocals, which gives you an idea of the meat of the song. However, if I was to get this funding, I could do so much more with this track. I would like to add bass and a blues beat to it. I feel it could benefit from some live Saxophone and Violin in places too.
This project is so important to me; I feel it could be one of those “small rays of hope,” for other bereaved parents. I’d like to think that by sharing my experience in this way, we may break the taboo of speaking about grief. If I can do this for even one other newly bereaved parent, then this project will have been completely worthwhile.
Risks and challenges
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