Funded! This project was successfully funded on August 12, 2012.

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A dark comedy about miscommunication, passive aggression, zombies, and other relationship hurdles.


I've loved movies all my life, and I've long wanted to get my feet wet in the world of directing. Unfortunately, there was always a negative voice within me saying that I wouldn't be up to the task – that I wouldn't succeed.

I'm the one on the left. That negative voice is on the right.
I'm the one on the left. That negative voice is on the right.

So this summer, I'm telling that voice to pipe the heck down. I have written the short film (and my directoral debut), You're Dead To Me. I am also acting as producer. This short will serve as a learning experience for myself and the many talented people in my crew (all of whom are working pro bono, bless their hearts), and I intend to submit the final product to film festivals.

"You're Dead to Me" One-Sheet Teaser
"You're Dead to Me" One-Sheet Teaser

"SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS?"

A young couple, Tom and Judy, sit arguing in a coffee shop as closing time approaches.
A young couple, Tom and Judy, sit arguing in a coffee shop as closing time approaches.
A frustrated Judy wants to break off their relationship...
A frustrated Judy wants to break off their relationship...
...much to Tom’s bewilderment.
...much to Tom’s bewilderment.

As Judy accuses Tom of being oblivious to the circumstances, he becomes increasingly defensive. Finally, the source of Judy’s annoyance dawns upon Tom. Raising his previously out-of-view left hand, Tom asks...

"Is this about the zombie bite?"
"Is this about the zombie bite?"

You'll have to see the film to know what happens next, but the situation (ahem) deteriorates.

"WHAT IS MY CASH GOING TOWARDS, ANYWAY?"

–Equipment Rentals. We want the production value to be as close to top-notch as is humanly (or inhumanly) possible.

–Liability and Rental Insurance. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. That, and it's mandatory to rent equipment and secure locations in LA.

–Securing a Location. I'm shooting at a real coffee shop, so I throw some scratch their way for their generosity / Internet / electricity usage.

–Art Department and Make-Up Materials. I want the zombie effects in this film to look good. Like, Tom Savini good. I got just the man to do it, too (More on cast and crew in a bit).

–Food and Coffee. We're all working for free, and the shoots will be late-night (during the coffee shop's closed hours). Least I can do is ensure that we all have full stomachs and open eyes.

"WHO ALL IS ON THIS COCKAMAMIE PROJECT?"

Dillon Oleata (Tom)
Dillon Oleata (Tom)

Dillon is a Los Angeles-based performer who founded A Box of Scraps, a comedy troupe whose YouTube page has received almost a million views.

Cole Quirk (Judy)
Cole Quirk (Judy)

Cole is a comedienne in UCLA's MFA program for Screenwriting with a strong background in improv and sketch comedy acting.

Max Siegel (Director of Photography)
Max Siegel (Director of Photography)

Max is a longtime photographer and UC Berkeley Film graduate who is currently earning an MFA in Cinematography from Chapman University.

Frank Balzer (VFX Artist)
Frank Balzer (VFX Artist)

Frank is a VFX makeup artist for the Reign of Terror Haunted House and is an owner of Above The Line Effects, a VFX house in Canoga Park, CA. He has extensive experience in both film and live performance pieces.

Francesca Parise (Storyboard Artist)
Francesca Parise (Storyboard Artist)

Francesca is an artist and photographer living in West LA. She majored in Film at UC Berkeley and has experience storyboarding for independent films and videogames. She can also bench-press 350lbs (I know, I was surprised too).

Patrick Owens (Writer, Director, Producer)
Patrick Owens (Writer, Director, Producer)

I'm the dude typing this right now – fourth wall breakage!

"YA GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY?"

I've worked on film sets and in post-production offices, and I'm thrilled to finally have the chance to start putting my own creative visions onscreen. If you can help me out, I'll make sure that your good deed goes rewarded (unlike that jerk who said, "No good deed goes unpunished." The hell was he talking about?)

Thanks for your support. You rock,

Patrick Owens.

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    *(Less than a movie ticket)* A Thank-You card signed by the cast and crew and a signed crew photo, and a "Special Thanks" in the film's credits. THANKS TWO BUNCHES!

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    *(Less than two cocktails at a swanky bar)* Every reward from the $10 pledge, plus a digital copy of "You're Dead to Me" upon completion. THANKS OODLES! YOU ROCK.

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    *(Less than that disappointing videogame you bought)* Every reward from the $25 pledge, plus a signed 11''x17'' "You're Dead to Me" final one-sheet poster and a digital copy of the film's original soundtrack. THANKS A MILLION! YOU'RE CLEARLY A VERY SMART, ATTRACTIVE PERSON :)

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    *(Less than what you spent on that date that didn't even go very well)* Every reward from the $50 pledge, plus a DVD copy of "You're Dead to Me" and a signed sketch of you done by Francesca, our storyboard artist. THANKS A BILLION! YOU HAVE SUPERB TASTE IN ART.

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    *(Less than a pair of decent shoes)* Every reward from the $75 pledge, plus an "Associate Producer" credit and a "You're Dead to Me" crew T-shirt in whatever size you like. YOU'RE SUCH A HIGH-ROLLER, YOU COULD BE AN OLD-FASHIONED BICYCLE! Get it?

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    *(Less than a tacky leather jacket)* Every reward from the $100 pledge, plus a "Producer" credit, a link to a video of the cast and crew personally thanking you, and an invitation to a cast-crew dinner in the Los Angeles area (travel costs not included). HOLY GUACAMOLE! DO YOU LIKE MEXICAN FOOD? LET'S EAT MEXICAN FOOD!

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    *(Less than the final cost of a music festival pass)* Every reward from the $200 pledge, plus an "Executive Producer" credit and an original story board page. YOU'RE COOLER THAN FONZIE IN A FREEZER. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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    *(Less than that home gym you'd stop using after a month)* Every reward from the $500 pledge, plus a prop from the set! Plus, you'll be sent a video of the two lead actors singing any song you request (≤6 mins in length). Yes, we're serious. LET US SING THE PRAISES OF YOUR AWESOME-NESS. REJOICE!

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Funding period

- (24 days)