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Hilarious true stories from a confused underqualified (and occasionally right) father.
Hilarious true stories from a confused underqualified (and occasionally right) father.
189 backers pledged $8,623 to help bring this project to life.

About this project

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$8,623

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With my blog, No Idea What I’m Doing: a daddy blog, I have brought some significant attention to my writing.

I have been featured on Good Morning America, The New York Times, and The Washington Post. My most recent essay in The Washington Post went viral. It was in the top most read articles on their main page for five days. It was republished in Singapore, Australia, on The Chicago Tribune, and in so many local papers that I lost count. I have been published in The Huffington Post multiple times this year. My writing has been translated into four different languages. My most recent publication on Scary Mommy was shared 357K times. I have also placed essays in The Good Men Project, Fast Company, and elsewhere.

Now, it's time for a book, and I'm coming to you to make it happen.  Titled "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things," it's a collection of my most hilarious essays, lists and advice on family and marriage. Many of these essays have been published in major publications or on my blog. 8 of them are new, and can only be found in this collection.

Like everything I write, this book is hilarious and thought provoking and real. It's going to reinforce family, fatherhood, and marriage, and help parents realize that, well, it's okay to have no idea what you are doing. We are figuring this out as we go.

Photo by Chris Piascik
Photo by Chris Piascik

Publishing a book will be an amazing opportunity to take my already proven message on parenting and marriage to a new audience. It will also help me fulfill one of my greatest life goals, to publish a book.

Please help me to continue to help other parents through my stories.

Best,

Clint

Budget

I'd like to make this book available to as many readers as possible. To do this, I plan to use a Lulu print on demand/e-publishing package. This way I can get all the editing and formatting done in one place, and give those who would like to hold my book in their hand the opportunity to do so.

  • $3,000 Lulu Publishing Package: Distribution, ISBN, Custom Cover, e-Format (Nook, iPad, iPhones & Others), Print Format, Interior Book Design and Layout, Copyright Registration, Promotional Materials
  • $3,000 Professional Editing: Line and Content
  • $2,500 Other: Kickstarter Rewards and shipping, Kickstarter service fee, Updates to Author’s Website for Promotion, Unexpected Costs

       $8,500 total

Table Of Contents

• Confessions Of A Stay At Home Dad

•The Day We Caught Our Kids Looking At Their Butt Holes

•Stop Eating Your Boogers And Be A Gentlemen (Only available here)

• True Love Is Not Heroics, But Rather Popping Your Partners Zit

• My Kid is a Weirdo And I Really Shouldn’t Be Surprised

• The Questions I’ve Been Asked Since Having A Newborn (and the answers I would love to give)

• The Sexiest Thing I Can Do Is Wash The Dishes (Only available here)

• “I will leave it up to you” Is The Wife Equivalent Of A Viet Cong Booby Trap (Only available here)

• This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (Only available here)

• My Daughter Is Not A Princess

• The Sexiest Thing I Can Do Is Wash The Dishes (Only available here)

• Things I Said I’d Never Allow My Children To Do, And All The Ways I’ve Caved

·Hell Is A Lot Like A Little Girl’s Birthday Party

·Things I Didn't Know About Breastfeeding: a man's prospective (Only available here)

·The Copycat Game Is For A-Holes

·Crazy Things Said While Up In The Night With Kids

·What I’d Like to Do To My Children Once They Are Adults

·"My Vagina Is Not A Trapdoor"(Only available here)

·The Baby Hates Me

·Crazy Decisions I’ve Made To Save My Carpet And Furniture

·My First Evening Alone With Three Kids (A Trip Through Hell)

·The New Baby Is Making Everyone Act Crazy… Including Dad

·An Open Letter To My Newborn

·The Interrogation

·And She Sent Me To The Store For Feminine Hygiene Products…

·The Day I Made A Dummy And Placed It In Our Living room

·The Day Mom Took Away All The Toys

·How My Wife Helped Me To Not Be White Trash

·Snoring, High Cholesterol, and Green Smoothies

·When Sexual Innuendo’s Lead To Hilarious Misunderstandings

·Sometimes Marriage is Gross

·My Wife And I Are Frenemies

·Why I Suck At Car Maintenance

·I Thought My Wife Was Crazy. Turns Out She Was Pregnant (Only available here)

·Baby Making Season

·Why Do My Daughter’s Teen Years Make Me Think About Murder?

·Ugh… My Wife Is A Vegetarian

·What Happened After We Heard Our Neighbors Having Sex

·I Thought I Was A Good Husband Until I Went Grocery Shopping

·The Day I Found My Neighbor's Grow License

Risks and challenges

Look, things can go bad. I'm not immune to setbacks. Obviously, the biggest setback is delays editing or cover art. The good news is, "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" is already is finished. Many of the essays are already reader approved. I've also mixed in a few new essays for those of you crazy fans who have read everything I've posted on my blog (you people are amazing by the way).

Other things, such as death, injury or personal tragedy could derail the project, as well. In such cases, there is not much I can do to put things back on track, mainly because I'd be dead. But let's think happy thoughts.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $1 or more About $1.00

    Huge thank you from Clint Edwards. High five! I love you!

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    Pledge $15 or more About $15

    Free "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" ebook! Rock on you tablet reading technology nut! I love you!

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    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    Free ebook copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things."+ Clint will personally thank you via Skype, and if you'd like, read your kids a story. That's right! Thanks to technology you will hear me read Pete The Cat... or whatever your kids are into this week.

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    Free Copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." Rock and roll you classic reader!

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    Pledge $30 or more About $30

    Free Copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." Rock and roll you classic reader! + his Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things," sticker. Put that on your car! Parents unite!

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    Pledge $35 or more About $35

    Free Copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." Rock and roll you classic reader!+ This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things," sticker. Put that on your car! Parents unite!+ + Mel and I may even name our next child after you. This is assuming we have another child (I really hope we don't. The three we have are making crazy). And we like your name. But it's possible! It. Is. Possible!

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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    Signed copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." If you like, I could make it sound like we went to the Bahamas together. "Hey, Jon Doe: That was a crazy night on the beach. Thanks for supporting my book. -Clint Edwards

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    Pledge $75 or more About $75

    Signed copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." + "Clint will personally thank you via Skype, and if you'd like, read your kids a story.

    That's right! Thanks to technology you will hear me read Pete The Cat... or whatever your kids are into this week.+ If you like, I could make it sound like we went to the Bahamas together. "Hey, Jon Doe: That was a crazy night on the beach. Thanks for supporting my book. -Clint Edwards

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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    Signed copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." + Clint will personally thank you via Skype, and if you'd like, read your kids a story. + your name in an essay! Yes, the book is non-fiction, but I often change names to protect the people I write about. One of those cover names could be yours!

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    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    Signed copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." + Clint will personally thank you via Skype, and if you'd like, read your kids a story. + your name in an essay! Yes, the book is non-fiction, but I often change names to protect the people I write about. One of those cover names could be yours! + Clint will write an original post for your blog or website.

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    Pledge $500 or more About $500

    Signed copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." + Clint will personally thank you via Skype, and if you'd like, read your kids a story. + "I Am Why We Can't Have Nice Things" T-Shirt.

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    Pledge $1,000 or more About $1,000

    Signed copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things." + E-copy of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things.+"Clint will personally thank you via Skype, and if you'd like, read your kids a story. + "I Am Why We Can't Have Nice Things" T-Shirt+your name in an essay! Yes, the book is non-fiction, but I often change names to protect the people I write about. One of those cover names could be yours!

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Funding period

- (30 days)