Everything included in the above reward plus a great big bear hug (of a duration not shorter than 10 seconds or longer than 1 minute) from the author. Purchaser must be able to provide own transportation to Seattle and also comply with any and all hygiene requests made by author, no matter how arbitrary they may seem.
Everything included in the above reward plus I will take you and your child to The Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle to meet some real live bears.
Of course, I can't promise the bears will actually hang out or pay the slightest attention to you. Sometimes they just hide out in their caves. I get it. I'm not always in the mood for company either. But it's a pretty great zoo with or without bears. But, as with the above reward, purchaser must provide own transportation to Seattle.
Oh look, here are the bears now! http://www.zoo.org/bearcam