Developing and cloning baby aliens to assist humans with surviving life through advanced meditation and electronic brain retraining.
I'm hand-cloning baby aliens that can control your mind.
- Commander Gaijin, CEO of Gaijinitos Inc.
Developing and cloning Gaijinitos [translation: baby aliens] - personal cuddly electronic light-up aliens to help humans with surviving this modern world through advanced meditative brain training. This Collectable Electronic Plush project is seeking professional-strength seed money for manufacturing internal organs, skins, coloring, and identification tattoos. This is Brood 012.
Many have been bred in captivity already, and initial funding has come from these early adoptions. The dreadlocked Gaijinitos are able, through their lighted fingertips, to reprogram and resynchronize human neurons - they've been schooled in subtle axon brain retraining. While seemingly cute, beware their staring contests. Not only great dancers, but amazing jugglers.
Journey Towards Tranquility
How can an advanced being with alien technology need a kickstart? Well, back in 1999 a satellite substage deorbited and collided with the Commander's small observation ship, destroying it out above the Black Rock desert. Trapped earth-bound, he's observed that humans could use assistance on finding their way to inner peace. Various artists and helpful burners have donated time and expensive technology to start his cloning experiments. Previous breeding budgets have been way too tiny, but amazingly, with a Call Out into the Universe, Kickstarter appears.
Thank you, kickstarters all.
Through adoption, our pledgees are supporting a brighter future for our little handmade unique creatures. And since the current cloning process is fully handcrafted, by a limited number of specially trained technicians, the Commander counsels to grab one before they are, well, all loved away. Handmade collectibles, are, by their nature, rare. Electronic art, more so.
Why School An Alien?
It takes much work to actually clone aliens. Unbelievably crazy. And once you finally perfect the cloning, then there's the training! Galactic planning began in 1998, with the first experimentals functioning in 2001 and upper-education classes starting in 2005. You can't just allow adoptions with untrained aliens - it would be like having a blue whale over for dinner. We acclimate them to humans, allowing them to adapt, to understand the patterns of these creatures to which they'll live, though their intentions always are to make your world a better place.
Wait, What Was That About Mind Control?
When the humans fade from sleep into REM sleep, their brain energy waves fall into synchronous frequencies, from Alpha and Beta, down into longer Delta and Theta wavelengths. Many Gaijinitos are purposely trained to play within these rainbow frequencies, for human meditative moments. By varying the frequencies and pattern of lights emitted from their fingertips, fully trained Gaijinitos can assist their human companion's mind settle into more meditative wavelengths. Ocular communication - the new direct control of the restless human mind. Mind control? No, fine control.
More About Brood 012
Commander Gaijin is working with the artist brett spivey on creating thirteen Gaijinitos for Brood 012. From these thirteen will be cloned four siblings, matching, except in eye color. The total 65 Trainees will be made adoptable for pledges, via special Drunken Stork Delivery. For pledgees desiring specific customization, or for the budget-minded, we can breed clones with varying amounts of lights or controls. All pledges' adoption fees go towards producing Brood 012 and its rewards items, as well as being invested into tooling for future mass-market breeding.
More About The Future
Right now, all cloning is hand-skilled, but some tasks can better be parceled out to experienced professionals. For our future breeds, we intend to design and manufacture the internal wiring harness and control system into a single internal 'spine' element, to manufacture more variety in skins, to create silicone identification labels. As this advanced breeding progresses, more updates will be made available.
A Serious Funding Goal
We are proud to be working, building, and replicating in southern California. However, alien cloning is expensive, and real manufacturing is serious business (or as serious as one can be if your CEO is Commander Gaijin), we've set ourselves a tough kickstarting goal. We understand that your trust in our company is a crazy thing, here on the internet, but our work is solid - we mean what we say and we say what we do. With serious funding, we can truly take our little buddies to a higher level, with even further broods planned, if fortunate enough.
We offer adoption services for Eyes-only or Eyes&Hair-only Gaijinitos with only the eyes, or the eyes and hair, light up - these do not have the training that their advanced siblings possess, but are more affordable for some budgets. The Twins, a limited clone, are a double set of opposite-shaded Gaijinitos - very rare. Also, great UV reactive and Glow in the Dark tees, stickers, and a secret unlock code to the world-famous screensaver - Commander Gaijin's TripWonkers. There's even some extremely rare delivery appearances by the Commander himself, if the pledgee was to be present at Burning Man 2012 (Burning Man ticket not included).
- [ed. - the Commander considers himself very fortunate to have survived ticketing, and hopes to see you on the playa!]
Examples of Previous Breeds
Project Rewards Concepts
Commander Gaijin's TripWonkers Screensaver [with special unlock code]
Awesome Cartoon Gaijinitos Stickers [8.5" x 11" indoor/outdoor vinyl sheet, final cartoon art under construction]
"Is That An Alien In Your Back Pocket?" Tees [A, B, and C] - printing on backs, no inks on front. Shirt and Ink color choices TBD.
Higher Education Training
Eyes - Green, Cyan, Blue, Clear, Aqua.
Fingers - Previous breedings have included white, purple, pink, blue, red, rainbow tips, UV, and full-color spectrum insanity. Color choices TBD.
Patterns - [Standard] specific Alpha, Beta, Delta, and Theta wavecycles with solid, fading, and sequenced; or [Alternate] full-color spectrum insanity (these Gaijinitos not recommended for meditative purposes).
Skin Tones - Previous breedings have been solid colors, but some have traces of rare animal hybridizations or holographic patterning. Color choices TBD.
The Twins - Two: one black, one white. A yin and yang, inseparable.
We do apologize for asking extra for shipping fees for some Pledge Reward items that have to leave the United States. In consolation, please consider how wonderful it is that, first, we get to communicate in such a free manner with all the easily pushed electrons of the internet, though it turns out a little extra cash is needed to actually move mass and volume around the globe.
- Tee Shirts: us$10
- Baby Aliens: us$55
International folks, thank you for adding these fees, and for your understanding. We will try to use USPS Priority or FedEx wherever possible, but not all parts of the Earth are such fully connected.
Some of us grew up on Warner Bros cartoons. We all know drunken storks are the most inexpensive, most-almost reliable baby delivery services available. With Stork Delivery, a drunken stork will get you one of the baby aliens, bringing a quirky randomness to delivery contents. For orders with specific alien customization, we use a more reliable delivery method that ensures less randomness with your adoption.
Our drunken storks use the Gaijinito Nursery Grabber Crane Claw to select from the baby alien nursery incubator. Each Gaijinito in the nursery has been educated for life amongst humans and are ready to be adopted. They hope for the day when the drunken stork chooses them to come live with you.
[Artist Conception Animation]
No, Really, Why Random?
Each one of the Trainee Gaijinitos is unique, and we haven't figured out a better way to promise them individually as rewards. To offer more specific choices to our supporters at the upper reward levels seemed like a viable option. Think of it as birthing-before-ultrasound? We hope some unknowing brings a slight thrilling apprehension as well as eventual elation and joy.
Thank you for your interest in Gaijinitos, we are here to make your life fun.
- Commander Gaijin, CEO and brett spivey, alien artist
Have a question? If the info above doesn't help, you can ask the project creator directly.
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Access to exclusive pledge updates and bad karaoke, plus your name or handle on the Commander's Wall of Fame with his everlasting love, and all that this implies...Estimated delivery:
Pledge $3 or moreYou selected
Commander Gaijin’s TripWonkers screensaver secret code to remove the Commander‘s ramblings. Mac or Windows.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $15 or moreYou selected
Awesome cartoon Gaijinito vinyl 8.5" x 11" indoor/outdoor sticker sheet.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $30 or moreYou selected
Tee shirt [version A, below].Estimated delivery:
Pledge $60 or moreYou selected
Tee shirts [version A and B, below].Estimated delivery:
Pledge $90 or moreYou selected
Tee shirts [version A, B, and C, below].Estimated delivery:
Pledge $299 or moreYou selected
0 backers Limited (100 left of 100)
The Babies: 'Lighted Eyes-only' Gaijinitos Stork Delivery: Adoption paperwork and delivery of single Gaijinito baby alien, delivered via drunken stork. Colors of eyes, hair, and body - unknown until delivery.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $499 or moreYou selected
0 backers Limited (100 left of 100)
The Soothers: 'Lighted Eyes&Hair-only' Gaijinitos Stork Delivery: Adoption paperwork and delivery of single Gaijinito baby alien, delivered via drunken stork. Colors of eyes, hair, and body - unknown until delivery.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $899 or moreYou selected
0 backers Limited (65 left of 65)
The Trainees: Gaijinitos Stork Delivery: Adoption paperwork and delivery of single Gaijinito baby alien, delivered randomly via drunken stork. Colors of eyes, hair, and body, as well as finger and toe lights - unknown until delivery. Each one unique.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $1,299 or moreYou selected
The Masters: Gaijinitos Non-drunken-stork Delivery: Adoption paperwork and delivery of single Gaijinito baby alien, choice of genetics. Colors of eyes, hair, and body, as well as finger and toe lights, options listed below.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $1,999 or moreYou selected
0 backers Limited (10 left of 10)
Gaijinitos Special Twins: Adoption of twin Gaijinito babies, delivered via cloning process and educated with advanced training for human neuron interactions. Pairs consists of one melanic and one albinic alien (one black and one white). Very rare brood.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $2,499 or moreYou selected
0 backers Limited (2 left of 2)
Gaijinitos Playa Delivery: If pledgee is attending Burning Man 2012, a very special on-playa single Gaijinito baby alien delivery and hang-out with Commander Gaijin himself (pledgee's Burning Man ticket NOT included), until the batteries are drained. Date and location TBD.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $9,999 or moreYou selected
0 backers Limited (2 left of 2)
The Gaijinitos Nursery: arcade crane claw machine filled with ten baby aliens (and likely a lot of other assorted fluffy stuff that's not aliens). Limited to US-delivery only.Estimated delivery:
- (34 days)