Update! All backers will also receive the AUDIOBOOK. Read more about it... here!
Update! The reward level listed at $75 in the video above has been changed to $60.
For years, so-called linguists have told us that the scariest word in the English language is "Boo".
Well, I have a master's degree in linguistics, and I have discovered a scarier word: "MOTORCYCLUS".
My name is Ryan Veeder, and over the past year I have been using every terrifying word I can think of ("vampire", "robot", "The Dogbiter") to write the spookiest possible horror stories. Now, I would like to collect these stories in a book, titled MOTORCYCLUS And Other Extremely Scary Stories, print that book, and send it to your home—and I would like to do this all before Halloween.
If you are so inclined you can check out "MOTORCYCLUS" on Google+! Read more previews, et cetera!
Who is Ryan Veeder?
Okay let's keep this rolling.
How scary are these stories?
They are extremely scary. By way of example, here's the first chapter of the title story, "Motorcyclus":
Mimi Eclair was walking down her street late at night. She was on her phone. Her friend Hank was on the phone with her. Hank and Mimi were in the same chemistry class, at the school they both went to. They also had something called "sexual chemistry."
Mimi said into her phone, "There's a motorcycle parked in this yard." She told Hank about the motorcycle. It had one big headlight in the middle of the front of it.
"Sounds like a creepy motorcycle," said Hank.
Mimi said, "Knock it off! Hank!" then she giggled.
It was a dark night in October, when there were dead leaves and it was cold. Mimi Eclair walked away from the house with the yard where the motorcycle was. Then the headlight of the motorcycle blinked like an eyeball.
And that's only the first chapter! The other chapter is probably even scarier.
Good gracious! Can I get some more?
Yes. For one thing, if you watch the video up there, you can hear "Wrong Number," read in its entirety by my friend Emily. Also, here in text form is the beginning of another story, entitled "Coming Out Ahead":
Dean was hanging out in a café with his friends Laura and Pete. Pete was telling Dean that he was wearing his necktie wrong.
"It's gotta be straight. And you need to button that top button, or you'll look like a hobo," Pete explained.
Dean tried to look down at his chest and fix everything to Pete's specifications. It took a while.
"Okay, okay, okay," Dean said. He looked up at Pete. "Is this better?"
Pete didn't say anything. His head fell off of his neck.
Yes, you read that right. Pete's head fell off. Again: it only gets scarier from there.
What is the best way to read this book?
In my opinion, the best way to read this book is to preorder it ASAP, so that you receive a physical copy before Halloween, so that you can then read the stories out loud to your friends on Halloween. You will definitely want to read these stories out loud to your friends.
How many stories are in this book?
Right now there are 28. I say "right now" because it is my plan to continue adding stories to this book until the very last possible moment, so that you receive as much hair-raising material as possible. I definitely want to give you a maximum of value for your $15—but you should make your next question "how big is this book?"
How big is this book?
As books go it is not very big. As of right now, a physical copy of Motorcyclus would have the heft of one of your heavier SparkNotes guides, like maybe the SparkNotes for Ulysses. Motorcyclus is the kind of book that you might call "easily concealed."
The reason for this is that many of the stories in Motorcyclus are very short. There is nothing wrong with that ("Brevity is the soul of terror," wrote the Bard) but I thought you should know ahead of time.
So, can you nail down some of the specifics of this whole thing?
Yes. I chose a funding goal of $500, because after printing and shipping and fees and everything that will come out to about 30 books (30 being my figure for how many living humans are brave enough to handle this book). If that goal is not reached after the 30-day funding period, nothing happens and your money never leaves your account and nobody has to die of fright after reading this book.
On the other hand, if the funding goal is met, I will be able to begin the process of finalizing the book's layout and looking at proofs and that kind of thing. This is expected to last through the month of August.
When all of that stuff is finalized, in September the books will be printed, and I will ship them to you, and you will receive your book in the beginning of October. This is if everything goes according to plan. The month of October here acts as a "buffer zone"—even if something delays the whole process by several weeks, you should be able to receive your book before Halloween.
I really want you to have this book with you on Halloween.
How are you going to print the book?
I am going to use Lulu Press.
*UPDATED! FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION:*
With regard to the $50 tier, will it be possible for me to choose which painting I want?
At the end of the funding period, I'll send out a backer survey with links to images of all the paintings. I'll ask you what your first/second/third choices are, and then I'll try to get everyone a painting that they like, with weighting toward the desires of those who backed earlier.
Oh hey, here we are at the bottom of the page! Thanks for scrolling all the way down here!
You know what? Just for you, here's another excerpt. This one's from a story called "Love Bytes":
Daniel's fangs elongated, and he moved his head to bite Marissa's neck, so he could suck out her blood. But when he bit her, instead of piercing her soft skin he felt a harsh metallic clang. Instead of the tin-like taste of blood, he sensed a bitter electrical smell.
Marissa withdrew from his arms and fell limply to the ground. Daniel kneeled down and inspected her body. Electric sparks were shooting out of her neck where he had attempted to pierce her.
"Are you okay?" asked Daniel.
"Yes," said Marissa. "I cannot die. I am a robot."
"How ironic," said Daniel sadly. "I cannot die either. I am a vampire." He admitted this quietly, for he had never admitted it to anyone before.
"I know," said Marissa. "Our friend told me."
"He's the only one who knows," said Daniel.
That's all! Thanks again!
- (30 days)