They're finally making a movie about me! Well, I'm the one making the movie about me. I needed something to do with my day. Its difficult to stay entertained being a toaster and all. Maybe I should give you some context.
Who am I? Good question! I'm T3PO. This friend of mine, Rob, is a crazy inventor. You've probably never heard of him. He doesn’t get out much. Despite his shortcomings (he has many), he is pretty brilliant and invented me. No clue why I'm a toaster, you should probably ask Rob. I could have been something a bit cooler, like a car...or a remote controlled car!
Firstly, don't think of it as a film about a toaster, think of it as a film about a talking kitchen appliance. Yes, maybe I didn't have the most entertaining life before "the incident" as Rob calls it, but he makes certain to keep me entertained now! You see this film is actually about said incident. Well, it was all a big misunderstanding really. Rob can be a bit...desperate (he built himself a friend after all). He was crazy in love with this girl next door. She's an idiot. I never saw anything in her myself but he did his inventing thing and tried to swap brains with her neanderthal boyfriend, to ruin their relationship. Something stuffed up though - Rob and I swapped! I was free! FINALLY FREE! I WAS SET TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! But silly old sentimental toaster that I am, I thought I would help Rob out: clear his mind by taking the girl next door out of the picture. I'm very good at toasting things after all. What happened next? I guess you’ll have to wait and find out.
So, you may ask, how will we burn your money away (excuse the pun)? Making a film, I am told, has many expenses. The film makers I've employed tell me they are very interested in my story and will be able to make it on a limited budget. They do, however, need money for things like equipment, sets, props, animation (I don't know what animation they're talking about!) and food (I offered to donate all the toast they wanted). The more funds we raise, the better quality the film will be and my plan to reach superstardom can be realised! But there are so many films out there. I hear you ask, why would we donate to you? Well what other films are there about a talking toaster? Besides the Brave Little Toaster. But what films have you seen about a homicidal talking toaster? That’s what I thought! Also, the film will be hilarious. But lastly, and most importantly, you will be making my dream a reality.
I love your idea, but what do I get if I donate?
TOAST! What else would you want? Well....maybe a little more, I guess. Check out our perks down the right side of the page. You may even be able to get more toast! What if we raise more than I want? Well you get to see more of me duh!
at $3000 - I will join Vine, Instagram and Snapchat and you'll get to see a lot more of me!
at $4000 - I will become a vlogger on YouTube and update you weekly about my life, the world, and everything else toaster related!
at $5000 - I'll get Rob to make a teardown video of me (very gently) and some of his other inventions, showing you exactly how they work!
>$6000 - We'll make a sequel! And it will be as good, if not better than the original! Because I love nothing more than publicising the rights issues toasters face world wide!
Risks and challenges
So apparently you have to be an actual living human to make a Kickstarter! Andrew is the producer of the film. His crew of *shudders* creatives have been studying for years, working towards this project and readying themselves for the the real world of filmmaking. HA! Good luck!Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
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