Welcome to the Sandwich
The world of sandwich design is a mysterious and confusing
one. I mean, there’s meat and some bread, possibly cheese and a pickle, and
this is somehow made into a sandwich?
How does that work!?!
Individually, these components are clear, distinct. You'll
never confuse your dill for your rye. But assembled together their tastes and
textures convalesce, their liminality fading into brilliant singularity. They
are no longer bread -cheese-meat-bread, just sandwich.
An apotheosis into lunch.
So, here’s the deal. You’re going to buy me a sandwich. In
return: I will eat the sandwich. Then report on my findings.
I am a scientist. I like numbers and spreadsheets and
uncertainty. The sandwich will be consumed with scientific precision, with its
variables and variation over time carefully recorded and tabulated. This will
then be used to produce a report (“The Sandwich Report”) both documenting “the
Sandwich”, but also the sociological and gastronomical effects the sandwich had
on my person.
This is a performance art project. Art exhibited through
science. And I will eat a sandwich.
All I'm asking for is $5.50 to get the sandwich. Any
money over the goal will result in upgrades to the sandwich quality, as well as
other meal enhancements. If excess funding reaches $11, my friend “Chorocojo”
will also get a sandwich. He will not contribute anything to the “Sandwich
Report”, but he will eat the sandwich. Additional funding beyond this point
will be go towards adding a side of potato salad, probably using red potatoes.
Anyone who donates $1 or more will receive a DRM-free copy of the "Sandwich Report", which will include my findings, impressions, and all recorded sandwich metrics.
Donations of $2 or more will receive access to the exclusive live audio stream of me actually eating the sandwich. This unfiltered and unedited broadcast will have me discuss the sandwich, its taste, its texture, and of course, any philosophical quandaries and conundrums that may arise.
Donations of $3 or more will receive DRM-free digital copies of Behind the Scenes sandwich construction footage and stills.
A single donor over $4 or more will have their name emblazoned on the sandwich in fine yellow mustard prior to consumption. Can be made spicy mustard upon donor's request.
I am going to eat the SHIT out of that sandwich.