BUY ME A SANDWICH

by Zorak

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BUY ME A SANDWICH

by Zorak

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You buy me a sandwich. I eat the sandwich. Then report of my findings.

Welcome to the Sandwich

 The world of sandwich design is a mysterious and confusing one. I mean, there’s meat and some bread, possibly cheese and a pickle, and this is somehow made into a sandwich? How does that work!?!

 Individually, these components are clear, distinct. You'll never confuse your dill for your rye. But assembled together their tastes and textures convalesce, their liminality fading into brilliant singularity. They are no longer bread -cheese-meat-bread, just sandwich.

An apotheosis into lunch.

So, here’s the deal. You’re going to buy me a sandwich. In return: I will eat the sandwich. Then report on my findings.

I am a scientist. I like numbers and spreadsheets and uncertainty. The sandwich will be consumed with scientific precision, with its variables and variation over time carefully recorded and tabulated. This will then be used to produce a report (“The Sandwich Report”) both documenting “the Sandwich”, but also the sociological and gastronomical effects the sandwich had on my person.  

This is a performance art project. Art exhibited through science. And I will eat a sandwich.

All I'm asking for is $5.50 to get the sandwich. Any money over the goal will result in upgrades to the sandwich quality, as well as other meal enhancements. If excess funding reaches $11, my friend “Chorocojo” will also get a sandwich. He will not contribute anything to the “Sandwich Report”, but he will eat the sandwich. Additional funding beyond this point will be go towards adding a side of potato salad, probably using red potatoes.

Rewards

Anyone who donates $1 or more will receive a DRM-free copy of the "Sandwich Report", which will include my findings, impressions, and all recorded sandwich metrics.

Donations of $2 or more will receive access to the exclusive live audio stream of me actually eating the sandwich. This unfiltered and unedited broadcast will have me discuss the sandwich, its taste, its texture, and of course, any philosophical quandaries and conundrums that may arise.

Donations of $3 or more will receive DRM-free digital copies of Behind the Scenes sandwich construction footage and stills.

A single donor over $4 or more will have their name emblazoned on the sandwich in fine yellow mustard prior to consumption. Can be made spicy mustard upon donor's request.

Closing

I am going to eat the SHIT out of that sandwich.

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  • Pledge $1 or more
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    DRM-free copy of my Sandwich Report, including sandwich metrics.

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  • Pledge $2 or more
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    Access to private exclusive live audio stream wherein I eat the sandwich and give my thoughts re: its taste, texture, and the philosophical quandaries it represents.

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  • Pledge $3 or more
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    Access to Behind the Scenes sandwich construction footage and stills.

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  • Pledge $4 or more
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    I emblazon your name on the sandwich in finest yellow mustard. Limited to one person because it is hard to draw with mustard.

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