About this project
Featured new reward:
More KILLER rewards (...sorry, we couldn't resist):
$5: Name in the credits, a sincere Thank You, AND a download of "5SF: Year One" (DRM Free)! Every film from the first year of the website! See how it all began!
$10: You'll also get the entire "5-Second Films YEAR 2" Digital Download (DRM Free)!
$12: Brian Firenzi will write a custom description for YOUR 5SF IDEA. He's written EVERY SINGLE description on the website ever. You pitch him your 5SF idea, and he'll write a custom description to go with it.
$15: HD/SD download of DBPM3, Digital Cover Art, Digital downloads of every 5SF from the first THREE YEARS. (DRM Free) (includes all previous rewards).
$20: Digital downloads of Years 1, 2, 3 AND 4 from 5secondfilms.com (DRM Free) (includes all previous rewards).
$25: Digital downloads of Years 1, 2, 3, 4 AND 5 from 5secondfilms.com. That's all 5 years of the website! Granted, we're still in year five right now. So it will include every 5SF upto October 30, 2013 (DRM Free) (includes all previous rewards).
$30: Bro-terion Collection Download, includes HD/SD download of of DBPM3, Digital Cover Art of ALL 3 DBPM films, behind the scenes (all DRM Free) (includes all previous rewards).
$50: Bro-terion DVD or Blu Ray (includes all previous rewards). It's gonna look something like this (temp art, subject to change):
$60: The Stream-A-Thon event has passed and is now available to WATCH ONLINE FOR FREE!
$80: You get all five years worth of 5secondfilms in a special edition Blu Ray or DVD that is packed with extra features and signed by all members of 5secondfilms PLUS creased 11x17 KICKSTARTER EXCLUSIVE posters of DBPM 1, 2 and 3!!!! (includes all previous rewards). They're gonna look something like this (temp art, subject to change):
$100: Kickstarter Exclusive DBPM3 Erotic playing cards (includes all previous rewards).
$125: Signed Bro-terion Collection Blu Ray/DVD (includes all previous rewards).
$150: One T-shirt (KICKSTARTER EXCLUSIVE DBPM3-themed or 5sf-themed) of your choosing (includes all previous rewards).
$200: We will make YOUR idea for a 5secondfilm. Send us the idea and we'll shoot it, act in it, and put it on our website (Includes all previous rewards)!!
$250: Rare DBPM3 VHS with customized Art (Limited to 50) (includes all previous rewards). Here's an example of what one would look like:
$300: A prop from DBPM3 OR a 5sf. And it won't be a blood-stained t-shirt. It's a cool prop. Here are a few examples of cool 5SF props that will be offered:
$400: You become an Honorary Jr. Deputy with the Chico County Police. You get a Certificate, a personal message from Chico’s own Officer Sminkle, Chico Police shirt, Activity Book (Limited to 50) (includes all previous non-limited rewards).
$500: Signed Script of DBPM3 from all 5sf writers and an invitation to the first screening (includes all previous non-limited rewards).
$666: Video message from Satan (includes all previous non-limited rewards).
$905: Pick YOUR FAVORITE 5sf character and they will make you a personalized video or outgoing voicemail (Includes all previous non-limited rewards).
$1,000: Co-Broducer credit (Includes all previous non-limited rewards).
$1,500: 30-minute Google Hangout or Skype with the 5sf crew! (Includes all previous non-limited rewards)
$2,000: You get to be in the film. Plus you get to be in a 5sf! (Includes all previous non-limited rewards) (Travel not included)
$2,500: Become an Honorary JR. SHERIFF in the Chico County Police Department. Officer Sminkle will drive to your house, take a photo with you as he hands you the certificate, then we'll mail you a framed copy of that photo. (Limited to 1, USA only) (Includes all previous non-limited rewards)
$3,000: Dinner with Officer Sminkle. (Limited to 1) (Includes all previous non-limited rewards)
$4,000: Rousselet or Maria will paint you a personal 12x24 Dude Bro Party-themed painting. (Limited to 5) (Includes all previous non-limited rewards)
$5,000: YOU CAN BE THE KID WHO SAVED DBPM3! Your likeness will be used in the introductory scenes, explaining how you were the kid who videotaped the only known broadcast of Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 off a Minneapolis TV station. Be a part of the Dude Bro mythology!! (Limited to 1) (Includes all previous non-limited rewards)
$5,555: Come shoot with us for a weekend AND get a full BRODUCER credit! (Includes all previous non-limited rewards) (Travel arrangements not included)
$8,000: We will kill you in the film! (Limited to 750) (Travel arrangements not included) (Includes all previous non-limited rewards)
$10,000 Executive Producer Credit. Welcome to Hollywood. Open door invitation to drop in and visit during ANY aspect of production/post, we'll fly you out for the first screening and you get to participate in any one limited reward category (Includes all previous non-limited rewards).
Click HERE to see our Update Videos for more info!
Now back to the fun details...
Who the heck are you guys?
We're 5secondfilms! 20-something internet comedy troupe #2,307. We've been providing sketch comedy videos, exactly 5 seconds in length, every single weekday since 2008. In the past 5 years we have NEVER missed a day. It's that consistency and reliability that has helped build a loving fanbase that comes back day after day.
But our ideas and passion couldn't be contained in 5 seconds for long. We've shot longer sketches in the past, and now we put out weekly sketches on Uproxx Video.
Yet it still wasn't enough...WE WANTED MORE SECONDS!
Then we remembered a blood, sweat and beer-fueled 5sf called Dude Bro Party Massacre 3:
So, wait...this is going to be longer than 5 seconds, right?
Yes! Jeez haven't you been paying attention? It's going to be longer than a 5sf and it's even going to be longer than the 88-second trailer we shot a couple years back:
We're talking a FULL LENGTH FEATURE FILM MOVIE! That's like 5,400 seconds! And the more comments we saw on both videos, the more we knew that we weren't the only ones who wanted to see these oiled-up bros get chopped to bits in the gory, blood-spraying, hilarious fashion that 5secondfilms is oh-so-good at. Bloody and funny! That's how we like it. Kinda like this one:
Okay. I get it. So what's this movie going to be about?
DUDE BRO PARTY MASSACRE 3 follows BRENT CHIRINO as he enters the oil-misted halls of the DELTA BI THETA fraternity. Brent isn’t just any pledge... he’s a legacy. And it’s a legacy of death. See, Brent is here to solve the mystery of his identical twin brother BROCK’s murder, and he’ll do anything to crack the case... even attempt the frat’s most daring prank of all time.
After the Deltas’ senior prank causes two commercial jets to collide over an orphanage, they’re punished to a weekend at The Old Sorority House by the Lake. But they’re not the only ones there... a mysterious killer named MOTHERFACE lurks nearby. She knows the bros’ deepest fears... and she’s taking advantage of those fears to pick them off, one by shirtless one, in increasingly gory ways. It’s a race against time for Brent to discover the mysteries of his brother’s death before Motherface butchers them all!
But wait, there’s more! DUDE BRO PARTY MASSACRE 3 also features a softcore subplot, spliced in by the Filipino “producers!” Join Chico County’s own OFFICER SMINKLE as he investigates a rash of nudie trading cards featuring all the most bodacious sorority babes at East Chico University! Marvel as this gratuitous subplot somehow intersects with the main story!
Still not satisfied? What if we told you that this whole crazy package takes the form of a VHS recording that a Midwestern teenager made from a late-night broadcast in the late 80s? Which means you get the film, plus host segments, TV commercial parodies, fake news alerts, and more? Would that convince you to give us money? If not, go rent “Real Steel” and eat some Weight Watchers with your ferrets.
Do you guys think you can handle making a full film?
Heck ya! We've been doing this a long time. Both on our own and as hired professionals. In fact a couple of us already have written, directed and produced our own independent feature films that have played in film festivals here in the states and internationally.
Plus after 5 years of getting together EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND to shoot 5SFs (you read that right - every weekend, for 5 years), we are a lean, mean filmmaking machine that works efficiently and effectively. We've crafted our skills and we've acquired a lot of the tools we need to make top quality videos. Check out this funny horror sketch we did for Uproxx Video
Seems like you've got this handled...So what do you need me for?
A lot! There's a tremendous amount of time, energy and money that goes into making a feature length film. We don't want to shoot this in our backyard with a tiny cast of 5 people. We're going ALL OUT. But we need locations, we need more lights, we need a bigger crew, and with the huge ensemble cast that we've written into the script...well, that's a lot of mouths to feed.
Not to mention, while production is underway on Dude Bro Party Massacre 3, we'll STILL be releasing new 5-second films every weekday, and a new Uproxx sketch every week. We're not treating this movie like a summer camp - it's more like working a second job, pulling graveyard shifts at the movie factory.
Raising money will allow us to make this dream a reality, and will keep the creative control where it belongs: WITH US. We don't want to make a tame, watered-down film. We want this to utilize all the outrageous and insane comedy that our fans have come to expect from us.
Did you read that part about airplanes colliding over an orphanage? Did we mention the underwater city? Darn right there's an underwater city! There's no studio brave enough to fund this film and give us creative control.
And so, we turn to you and humbly ask that you support this outrageous, blood-soaked, hysterical adventure. Here's another video:
Okay. I'm in. You can have all my money. So how am I gonna see this thing?
Even some of the most modest contributions will receive an EXCLUSIVE link to the film, or DVD/Blu-ray. You're helping us make it, you should at least get a copy, right?! And you'll get to see it BEFORE ANYONE ELSE!
For everybody else, well, 5SF was created on the internet, forged in it's kitten-fueled flames, and the spoils of that belong on the internet as well. Whether it's through the multitude of streaming sites, digital downloads, Video-On-Demand, our website at 5secondfilms.com or YouTube, the possibilities are limitless. With online options constantly growing, anyone, anywhere in the world will be able to watch this film. And soon, when they invent a way to stream the film directly into your brain, we will do that too!
Risks and challenges
Like all movies, production delays are a risk. We have to coordinate a lot of peoples' schedules to match up with the locations we want, and with the amount of fake blood that we can afford. But we've been doing this for a long time, and we've never let our fans down. We've never missed a day on 5SF and even if there is an occasional delay with the making of Dude Bro Party Massacre 3, every obstacle can and will be overcome.
As a group, 5secondfilms has a proven track record of completing our goals, no matter how daunting they can be. And individually we have been working professionally in film & TV in every capacity: writers, producers, directors, cinematographers, actors and editors. A few members have already completed independent, low-budget feature films that have been accepted into film festivals both in the US and abroad (which can be found on IMDb: "Chronicles of a Love Unfound" and "Open Mic Night After The Apocalypse")
A lot of times you hear horror stories about films never getting made, or worse yet, never distributed. But we're not doing that. If a studio funds a film, they have the right to block its distribution. And if you're reliant on a distribution company, then your reach is only as wide as the number of theaters and video stores they see fit to provide. We've designed this project to keep the power in OUR HANDS. We are responsible for it's creation and distribution.
That's the beauty of 5secondfilms, digital distribution and kickstarter. You don't have to rely on an out-of-touch studio system. You only have to rely on us. And if there's one thing you can definitely say about 5secondfilms....We're reliable.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
Short answer: They don't actually exist. Long answer: In the mythology we're building, DBPM 1 and 2 were the first two installments of a minor slasher franchise in the early 1980's. Then along came Brunt Crumpston, an oddball young director who convinced the sleazy producer behind the first two to give him a shot at Part III. When Brunt turned in a film that did not come anywhere close to fulfilling the producer's desire for on-screen female nudity, the producer went and reshot portions of the film to include said bewbs - and Crumpston went insane with rage, burning every copy of the movie.
Or so he thought...
We are in the midst of pre-production right now and realistically we plan to shoot in September.
Our backers deserve the stuff they pay for in a timely matter (like a burger, say, or basic cable) and the goal is to ship you your stuff as soon as we have it written/produced/packaged. We don't know when that will be in certain cases, though, and some incentives will be ready way before others. The point is, we hear you, we don't like it when stuff takes forever to come to us either, and we will absolutely try our best to get you your burger before you get starving.
Yes and yes! Stay tuned, we'll have casting announcements as soon as we're ready in the updates section, and we'll let you know more about some stretch goals we have in mind!
We had Jones sign the contract, we got the financing from Columbia, we were all set to begin shooting on May 12, and then he set a cardboard box on fire and backed out of his contract.
Seriously such a d**k move from him, we expected better of Dealbreaker Jones.
[Can't add a link to the Dealbreaker Jones 5sf here sadly, go search for it on YouTube!]
Absolutely! We're so, so genuinely honored by every buck we receive from you guys, so it stands to reason you should all get your names in the credits.
In most cases, we're going to our friends (as well as our internet celebrity friends!) to fill some of these roles. But we're always down to find a breakout star! Get in touch with us at firstname.lastname@example.org, and we'll send you some sides to read. Send us back a link to your audition piece (or request arrangements to place the video clip on an ftp server) and we'll let you know.
NOTE: We retain the rights to use your likeness in the video(s) you send us, as well as the rights to use said video(s) in whatever capacity we see fit.
We really do want to, one day...but not in the immediate future. We hope potential backers think it's fair to offer an HD/SD download of the film at the $15 level, and if not, we're at least offering lots of behind-the-scenes footage for free (see the following question).
Most definitely! We're setting up a blog to do just that, something everyone can have access to, not just backers. This is not a romantic comedy about two dog-walkers who keep narrowly missing each other at a sun-dappled newspaper stand in Naples (though if Tommy Wiseau directed that, I'd watch it) - this is a goofily violent, low-budget goretacular with tons of practical FX! We think that's worthy of your time, if you're so inclined to check that sort of thing out. One thing I should mention is that somes (perhaps, even lots) of that behind-the-scenes footage may end up bundled with our behind-the-scenes content for the "Bro-Terion Collection" edition DVD/Blu-Ray/Download, so think of it as a sneak peek at some of the special features!
Primarily, the roles we're offering are deaths (non-speaking roles, we should mention - because seriously, who says "Ack! I'm dying!" as a scimitar shreds their midsection in half?) and, well, the more kills we pack into this sucker, the better! So to answer your question, there is a very, very good chance you'll end up in the finished cut - but since Murphy's Law is a thing, we cannot give a 100% guarantee. Just a 99% guarantee.
Are there any other incentives you might announce in the future? If I paid already for one incentive but want another one you'll announce, can I trade up (or make a lateral move, if the payment level is the same)?
Check our updates section soon! If you like 5sfs in addition to really funny/one-of-a-kind incentives, well we've got some stuff coming up that we hope you'll like. And if you do like one of those incentives more than the one you've got, of course you can change horses mid-race! We want you to be happy with the stuff we're giving you. Also, I just enjoy horse racing metaphors and I won't apologize for using them.
Yes, no exaggeration. We're including the original table read footage on the Bro-Terion Collection for a reason. Of course, I've technically never read the scripts for "Airplane!" "Groundhog Day," "Wet Hot American Summer," "Dr. Strangelove," "His Girl Friday," "Young Frankenstein," "Tootsie," "Some Like it Hot," "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie," "Mr. Hulot's Holiday," "A Fish Called Wanda," "Sullivan's Travels," "Raising Arizona," "Annie Hall," "The General," "The Apartment," "Office Space," "Wayne's World," "Rushmore," "Duck Soup," "Team America: World Police," "This Is Spinal Tap," "Shaun of the Dead," "The Big Lebowski," "A Night at the Opera," "Blazing Saddles," "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut," "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," "Monty Python's Life of Brian," "Midnight Run," or "Superbad," so there you go. Wow, I need to read more scripts.
Yes, yes, of course, "Modern Times" as well, haven't read it. Is there even a script for that, actually?
What if I live in a country outside of America? Will I be able to play the DVD I purchased? Will I pay more for shipping?
Some items will have an additional international shipping fee - items that are larger or harder to ship. DVDs will, of course, be non-region encoded. Feel free to ask us questions about what incentive levels necessitate higher shipping fees!
Here are the facts: Officer Sminkle (of 5sf lore) has his very own, crowbarred-in subplot where he tries to track down the perv responsible for illegally printing and selling nudie playing cards of local sorority girls. And should you pledge at the $100 level, you will receive a deck of "erotic playing cards!" What more could you possibly want out of life? I ask you this.
That depends on whether you think our goofy send-up of 80's slashers even COUNTS as an actual slasher (some people take this stuff really seriously). Regardless, we've done a ton of research on the matter and it seems like "The Collection" and "Hellraiser 3" are probably at the top of the list, as they contain scenes where an entire nightclub of people are slaughtered.
And uh, we can beat that with this film, seriously. Our script allows for a nearly endless number of kills to take place, plus the death of an entire town of people! But to depict it all onscreen, it will take more funding...we want to shoot as many of these kills with practical FX as humanly possible! So it all depends...
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