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Learn sexy anger. Become the funky dictator. Embrace... THE POWER OF THE CRYSTALS! NYC's premiere motivational seminar/rock opera.
Learn sexy anger. Become the funky dictator. Embrace... THE POWER OF THE CRYSTALS! NYC's premiere motivational seminar/rock opera.
58 backers pledged $3,525 to help bring this project to life.

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Are you angry enough? Are you attractive enough? Do you have enough addictions? No. You do not. That is... not yet. This August, you WILL learn sexy anger. You WILL reach out and crush someone. You will come to know...

THE POWER OF THE CRYSTALS!!!

The Power of the Crystals is NYC's premiere motivational seminar/rock opera. Featuring the music of The Missing Teens (America's favorite non-boy band), dancing wives, television personality Ted Tappert, and a Powerpoint presentation that can make even the hardest heart melt, POTC is set to take the FringeNYC 2011 Festival, this August, by storm.

Only the destruction of the world by Aztecs in the year 2012 could be more exciting than participating in the FringeNYC, but get this: while we rehearse and prepare our staging, we are also recording the soundtrack album for POTC, featuring crowd-pleasers such as "Stack of Documents" and "You Can Act Like A Man," and plan to release the album online to coincide with the FringeNYC in August. How's THAT for upping the ante? It's two projects... in ONE! Holy Synergy, Batman! 

Your contributions are vital to our success. We will be paying our cast, crew, and band, paying for advertising and promotion, and paying for recording and mastering of the soundtrack album. Without your contributions, we will be failures. FAILURES! Do you really want our failure on your conscience? What would your mother think?

We guarantee that POTC is truly unique. It is not a musical, it is not a play, it is not a rock concert. It is something more, something new. We are taking a big risk bringing this exciting project to the stage. And we cannot do it without you.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $10 or more About $10

    An electronic copy of the soundtrack album for The Power of the Crystals

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    7 backers
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    Pledge $20 or more About $20

    An electronic copy of the soundtrack album for the Power of the Crystals AND an electronic copy of the first Missing Teens album, Music For Young Adults.

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    9 backers
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    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    In addition to the above, donors will recieve a personalized copy of Pepper Spray for the Soul, the official Power of the Crystals life guidance book, and a copy of the official Missing Teens health insurance policy. NOTE: Missing Teens Health Insurance only provides coverage for rock-related health issues, such as insufficient bass in your face, tepidly played power chords, not enough people "mosh"ing, etc.

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    18 backers
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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    Same as the above, but instead of having an email read, donors will receive two personalized ringtones, written by the Missing Teens.

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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    Same as the above, but donors also get an instrumental song written by James Call and/or the Missing Teens over which the band will read your favorite email you've ever received, in a creepy or absurd voice.

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    9 backers
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  6. Select this reward

    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    WIN A DREAM DATE WITH MARLEY MARLENA AND EMILY EM! In addition to an electronic copy of both albums and Missing Teens Health Insurance, you will win a coffee date with shapely, articulate Marley Marlena, and buxom, jovial Emily Em. If things go well, you can be their new boyfriend.

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    Pledge $75 or more About $75

    James Call will come over to your house dressed as a clown and just start screaming at you, while DJ Pu Yi stands in the background with a snifter of brandy looking erudite. After a few minutes, they will get you drunk, and leave when you tell them to. You will also get electronic copies of both albums, Missing Teens health insurance, a ringtone, and a copy of Pepper Spray for the Soul.

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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    Same as one of the incentives above (your choice), along with a cartoon drawn by one of the members of the cast or band depicting a day in your life or any other subject you wish. Also: vocals will be added to the theme song.

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    1 backer
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  9. Select this reward

    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    Alternate incentive: recieve electronic copies of both albums AND the right to throw a drink - one time only - into the face of your favorite, or least favorite, Missing Teen. This can be whatever drink you are holding in your hand, and it can be done publicly, in front of tons of other people, when least expected. Haven't you always wanted an excuse to throw a drink in someone's face? Now you have it!

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  10. Select this reward

    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    In addition to electronic copies of both our albums, a copy of Pepper Spray for the Soul, and a theme song, DJ Pu Yi of the Missing Teens will be your designated driver for one night. He will drive you anywhere in the NYC area until you pass out, and then will drop you off at home. James Call will tag along and be your drinking partner if you want.

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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    WIN A DREAM DATE WITH MARLEY MARLENA AND EMILY EM! In addition to an electronic copy of both albums, Missing Teens Health Insurance, and a theme song, you will win a night-on-the-town date with sexpot and intellectual Marley Marlena, and adorable girl-of-your-dreams Emily Em. If things go well, you can marry them.

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    Pledge $200 or more About $200

    Same as the above, as well as dinner and cocktails at James Call and DJ Pu Yi (of the Missing Teens)'s house - or at your house if you're allergic to cats. Perfect for the Wii lover. Also a complimentary copy of Wine Spectator magazine with random vulgarities written on it in sharpie (limited offer).

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    Pledge $300 or more About $300

    Same as the above, except that dinner and cocktails are at director Quin Gordon's much classier apartment. Also, James Call will give you a personalized history lesson on one of the following: the political establishment of Christianity in ancient Rome; the Rise and Fall of the Nazi empire; a history of central banking in the USA; or a history of the oil industry to date.

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    Pledge $500 or more About $500

    Same as the above, and additionally, the Missing Teens will write, and perform live, a theme song about you, which will eventually be recorded. For out-of-state donors, James Call will also sublet his bedroom to you for free for a week.

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    Pledge $750 or more About $750

    Same as the above, and additionally, you will be given free studio time at James Call's home studio, ideal for mixing, for recording hip-hop or non-full band projects. James will happily engineer your project for you, help you with creative writing, and record your guitar, vocals, horns - really anything except drums. Equipped with Logic Studio and ProTools.

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    Pledge $1,000 or more About $1,000

    Same as the above, except additionally, James Call will become your personal life coach for an entire year. He will be obligated to get drinks with you at least once every other week (mid-week), You be allowed to crash on his couch at any point, and you will be allowed to play one percussive instrument of your choice (ideally the "Vibraslap") with the Missing Teens whenever you see fit. Finally, James and Greg will do your homework for you, if you have homework, provided it isn't math or Spanish. Essay writing especially.

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Funding period

- (42 days)