Funded! This project was successfully funded on December 29, 2012.

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Fully illustrated collection of poetry about beards and all their glory, accompanied by cats and raw, heartfelt emotion

front and back covers
front and back covers

It's more than a book of hairy poems!

Poems of Beards and Other Things will be the first installment in my collection called Loaf of Beard. I dream of Loaf of Beard being the umbrella over all of my future books and art projects, most of which will span outside the world of beards. BUT IT ALL STARTS WITH THIS INAUGURAL BOOK. It's the push that will send everything else into orbit. And the pressure is on us, comrades.

The Birth of a Bearded Endeavour

the first ever bearded poem
the first ever bearded poem

...and so it began. After writing about 15 beard haikus, I thought to myself "I should take this more seriously!". And of course by seriously I meant writing poems about beards that weren't just haikus. Then came the limerick and the acrostic. Acrostics are boring so I stopped after one. And my limericks were too sexual to be the primary content of one book. I went back to my poetic roots and delved into free verse and wrote from my heart. The book began to take form.

I hit a bearded writer's block a few months in and I started to incorporate poetry of a similar mood (as well as drawings of cats with pipes and of babies in tea). That's where and Other Things comes in. My bearded momentum came back in due time and I've since been able to write about beards 'til my fingers fall off (I have them secured now so you probably won't find a pinky in your copy of the book)

You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife. You may ask yourself, well, "What am I missing?"

ANSWER: A COLLECTION OF BEARD POEMS

This is the tentative table of contents:

OVER 100 PAGES OF STUFF. This is an example of the stuff:

the stuff called and Other Things:

and seeing as how it just became December (typically the month after November), let's reminisce:

So remember, remember that Emmy needs your help! And on your coffee table you could place a collection of poetry dedicated to the best part of the human body. If Poems of Beards and Other Things fails to be funded, none of us will have a beard book and Loaf of Beard will never go anywhere but inside my head (which will be crying lots and lots and too distressed to ever write a bearded poem again). SO PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP TO GET THIS PUBLISHED. WE CAN KICKSTART THIS BOOK AND SEND IT AROUND THE WORLD AND LAUGH AND CRY ABOUT BEARDS! I HAVE FAITH IN US!

Risks and challenges Learn about accountability on Kickstarter

I am doing everything by myself which ensures that I can depend 100% on the people involved. It also means I have lots of work cut out for me! Here mishaps could arise. My being murdered is the only true obstacle I see (I hope that doesn't happen but if it does I'll be with all the shaved beards).

The actual printing of the book could be delayed, but that's why I've set the reward dates a couple months down the road. I'm using Blurb to publish the book (as they do gorgeous work and are extremely reliable).

The book is entirely written so there is no risk of my not being ready by the deadline. Publishing is all that remains! As for the prints, I've already chosen my printing company so I'll just have to place the order and mail them to you.

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  • Pledge $5 or more
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    11 backers

    Your name will be on a thank you page in the book and I will send you a loving bearded postcard from my book.

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    41 backers

    A paperback copy of the book!!! (plus previous rewards)

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    25 backers

    A SIGNED paperback copy of the book! (plus previous rewards)

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  • Pledge $50 or more
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    2 backers

    You'll get signed 11x17 print of the Poster for Poems of Beards and Other Things (plus all previous rewards)

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    0 backers Limited (10 left of 10)

    Oh golly, I will write you a personal poem in your signed copy of the book (plus all the previous rewards

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    3 backers Limited (7 left of 10)

    Now you will get your personal poem written in your signed HARDCOVER copy of the book (plus the previous rewards)

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  • Pledge $150 or more
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    1 backer Limited (7 left of 8)

    HOLD ON TO YOUR BEARDS!! You'll get all those other things but you will also get a signed paperback copy of the book for your friends to read so you don't have to worry about them damaging your precious copy. You will receive an exclusive print to go with your other print as well as a set of bearded postcards from the book that you can send to your bearded and beardless friends around the world.

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Funding period

- (25 days)