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Think Wes Anderson's Hotel Chevalier to his Darjeeling Limited... But with more blood grinding.

In 2007, Nick Schwartz, Matt Braunsdorf, and I stumbled upon SomethingAwful.com’s “Awful Movie Database.” The AMDB, as its name implies, is Something Awful’s satirical IMDB – A central hub of cast, crew, and movie trivia for imaginary films.

Reading this page filled us with a newfound respect for life, for inherent in each entry of the AMDB was the comfort in knowing that none of these films could ever, or would ever exist. Of course, the promise of global meltdown and widespread despair piqued our interest, and that's precisely why we have seen one of these AMDB entries through to its logical conclusion. 

It started with a fake grindhouse trailer. With Nick and I co-directing and Matt starring as our hero, Ronnie America, we spent a few days creating “The Blood Grinder,” and came away with something that we thought was hilarious and ridiculous.

Once the original fake trailer was completed, the response it got from our peers and the online community was overwhelmingly positive, and the three of us started receiving requests for a feature-length version.  Naturally, we obliged, and we spent a few months after graduation in 2007 cobbling together a feature-length film that had no right to ever exist in the first place.

With the limited resources and finances of freshly graduated college students, the scope of our production was limited, and the resulting film, while successful from a comedic angle, was lacking in the action and horror set-pieces that it so desperately needed.

Satisfied with the content but not the execution, we've spent the better part of the last two and a half years writing and refining a new script, one crafted without budgetary limitations or scheduling obstacles.  This script was to be the DEFINITIVE version of “The Blood Grinder.”  Now that the script is complete, the next phase of the process has begun: finding financing.

However, before we can approach producers and investors, we want to be able to show them that we're the right ones for the job, and that our vision of The Blood Grinder is the best one out there.

That's where you come in, Kickstarter!

As the title implies, we are going to go into production on a prequel to “The Blood Grinder.”  Making the prequel a short film (about ten to fifteen minutes in length) will allow us to scale our proposed budget for the feature accordingly.  In other words, we will be sparing no expense, and the production of this short will mirror the eventual production of the feature.  We will be hiring cast and crew, renting top-of-the-line equipment, and shooting on location to ensure that the ten to fifteen minute running time of the short is every bit as hysterical and action-packed as the feature is sure to be.  Fights will be fully choreographed, and stuntmen will be utilized so we can avoid the crippling use of CGI that has doomed so many recent action/adventure films.  No stone will be left unturned.

With the resulting short film under our belts, as well as the extensive preproduction artwork, concept drawings, and news reports featured in our weekly Blodcast, we will have an abundance of material to 'wow' potential investors, and secure the financing we need for the feature.

It is a long and ambitious process, but by taking the necessary steps and making sure not to rush anything, we know we can make this film and make it the right way. We just need your help! Lucky for you, we’re offering plenty of delicious incentives. It goes without saying, but any and all donations are greatly appreciated.

On behalf of Matt, Nick, and myself, we thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day to check out our project. You can follow our progress and be a part of the production by following us on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube:

www.facebook.com/thebloodgrinder

www.twitter.com/thebloodgrinder

www.youtube.com/thebloodgrinder

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  • First created · 16 backed
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    5 backers

    Special Thanks in the credits and a link to download a ringtone of the Blood Grinder theme.

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    3 backers

    Early access to view the finished short film, your choice of one of three stickers and all of the above

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    DVD copy of the short (with bonus features including gag reels and all of the blodcasts), and all of the above

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    A Blu-Ray/DVD Combo of the short, a hi-res QuickTime file of the original feature, and all of the above

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    Your choice of one of three Blood Grinder t-shirts, a DVD copy of the original feature, and all of the above

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    An official Club Alcohol beer mug, a VHS copy of all the Blodcasts, and all of the above

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    Custom set of Blood Grinder steak knives, your choice of one of six posters from the original Blood Grinder, and all of the above

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    Concept art prints of Ronnie America, Mammary Jones, The Blood Grinder, or Detective Thompson signed by the artist, and all of the above

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    A mouth-watering assortment of DELICIOUS premium Texas BBQ meats, including brisket, rack of ribs, and sausage, and all of the above

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    Executive Producer credit and complete access to the production, including an invitation to join us on set, access to rough cuts, and more! You'll be completely in the loop! Plus, naturally, all of the above!

Funding period

- (90 days)