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(At Least) Five New Recordings! Exclusive shirts & posters! A slightly NSFW title! Help your fellow nerds make an awesome record!
(At Least) Five New Recordings! Exclusive shirts & posters! A slightly NSFW title! Help your fellow nerds make an awesome record!
(At Least) Five New Recordings! Exclusive shirts & posters! A slightly NSFW title! Help your fellow nerds make an awesome record!
97 backers pledged $5,277 to help bring this project to life.

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Countless Thousands' Epic New Nerd Punk Release!

$5,277

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UPDATE! 

We've smashed our initial goal and kicked ass beyond anything we were expecting, so we hereby challenge y'all for the ultimate stretch goal - a SECOND EP! If we can raise $4,500, we will provide EVERY PERSON WHO CONTRIBUTES anything above $10 a physical copy of the follow up release to "You're Goddamn Right"...

"And Don't You Forget It". The sister and companion release to the current EP. Isn't that rad????? We'll get started on it as soon as we finish with YGR but we need your help to make it happen! 

So anyways, back to the original campaign posting....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are a hero just for reading this. Easiest heroics of your whole life? You bet.

Thanks for even making it this far in.
Thanks for even making it this far in.

So then. Countless Thousands has been making music for over ten years. “But guys!” you say, rather interruptingly, “you’ve only put out one album! What gives?” Well, that badass album, “We’re Just Really Excited To Be Here”, cost us almost $10,000. Since then, Jonny quit his job to pursue music and music production full time. And despite Light’s insanely lucrative Starbucks career and – no joke – Davey’s biweekly sale of his own blood plasma, we just don’t have the income to cover a proper physical release. But! Jonny is getting really goddamned great at production and Danger is getting pretty good at directing music videos so we’re going to be putting out new stuff regardless of Capitol Records’ continued refusal to make our lives insane hyper-success dreamscapades. So rather than cut a check up front and hope we sell enough to eventually recoup expenses, Kickstarter lets us bring our goodies straight to the people who would appreciate them the most. Consider this your formal invitation to the fiscal life of the independent musician:

1000 CDs ordered from Discmakers - $1200
100 shirts from our swanky connections - $300
1000 stickers - $150
100 keychains - $150
Shipping the rewards –$200
Kickstarter fees (8%) - $160 
Audio Mastering - $500

Maybe we undershot our goal a bit, but either way, every penny we’re earning from this terrifying campaign will go to the production of Countless Thousands goodies. Chief among them is going to be the production of our epic new release, “You’re Goddamn Right”.

Yes, you!
Yes, you!

How awesome does that sound? We’re probably going to title all our releases with positive mantras. Here’s what we have prepared:

1) Gang Fight (remastered)
You know it, you love it. It’s maybe our best tune. Well, guess what – Danger got a spiffy new Duesenberg guitar and it sounds so much goddamn better than the Gibson we originally recorded that we’re taking another pass at the recording, which will sound even bigger.

2) We’ve Got a Dress Code
If you’ve seen us live, you know this one. It’s Jonny’s favorite song of ours and it kicks ass, certainly the most punk rock we’ve got. Which is great because the song is about punk rock and inclusivity. One time a punk kid tried to tell us that our punk song about how people don’t get to define what punk means to us wasn’t actually punk rock, and then he was sucked into some kind of vortex and we didn’t help him.

3) Excellent Horse-Like Lady (USA Version)
This song will absolutely increase your labor speed. Also we might put Hyon-Sung Wol’s original song as a hidden track on the EP because we do not give a hooey about North Korean copyright law. 
4) the Asskickers' Union
We’ve been hearing that this is one of our best since its original acoustic version appeared on our first album. Truth is Danger wrote that song like two weeks before we went in to record and we put that on there because we had a little extra time in the studio. Small miracles, right? Well, we have a full band version that we play live and Jonny engineered that version to sound huge and badass and we all love it and we made a goddamn groundbreaking video to that song. So here we are.
5) Only Child
This is the one song we haven’t actually produced yet, so we’ll do a video diary of its recording so you can have an idea of exactly what it’s like to produce music. Plus this might be Danger’s angriest song, so we can crack into the story a little bit if he’s not feeling too emotionally vulnerable. But he always is. He’s a weenie.

We might put more on there – hell, we probably will. But there you go. So then, let’s talk about rewards. 

Look, we’ve supported a bunch of Kickstarter campaigns. ‘Tis the way of the world now. Some of them turn out awesome (the Pixelstick was a Kickstarter!) and some of them turn into complete quagmires (and these  things are reviewed by Kickstarter staff so i can't point fingers). We wanted to do a campaign with rewards that we would genuinely enjoy getting if one of the weird bands that we were into did some crowdfunding (Sidenote: everything $10 and up gets you a physical copy of the EP). So let’s break each individual goody down a bit.

  • $5 – the Nibble: To spur on the well-wishers, casual fans and impoverished Dickensian orphans in our fanbase, kicking in five bucks gets you a digital download of the EP and a nifty sticker that will be mailed to your own front door.
  • $10 – the Dollop: At ten bucks we’ll send you a physical copy of the EP with a personalized thank-you card. Jonny and Danger love giving each other holiday and birthday cards that have been sharpied over with horrific images, and as long as everybody agrees that a stick figure corpse isn’t some kinda PTSD trigger, we will enjoy making each one just for you.
    Also includes the Nibble.
  • $15 – the Call to Arms: Danger and Jonny will record a video shout out just for you to be put on our YouTube channel. Basically, you’re getting a hyperbolic compliment from two scotch-soaked nerds and we’ll probably make a YouTube playlist so you can watch us get progressively slurrier. Our only concern is that we might get lost in the booze and end up repeating ourselves.
    Also includes the Nibble and the Dollop.
  • $20 – the Badge of Honor: Light’s friend Ryan makes some badass stuff with lasers and wood and we’re gonna get us a pile of custom keychains so that every time you reach for your keys you have that shimmery feeling of Thousandy love.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop and the Call to Arms.
  • $30 – the Loin-Girder’s Delight: Our total bros over at Trash Panda Clothing offered to make a fancy Kickstarter-Exclusive shirt for our backers, and we shall bless each of them with a silent prayer so your deeds within them shall be righteous and rife with glory. And soft! We want them to be so soft. We’ll also put your name right there on the inside cover of the EP so all shall know that you helped make this whole thing happen. Hero.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms and the Badge of Honor.
  • $40 – the Also-Staring Abyss: A fancy poster of us lads for your private domain to do with what you shall. What thoughts shall entertain you while gazing upon us? We won’t presume. Also at this level we’ll sign the CDs! Very personal.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor and the Loin-Girder’s Delight. 
  • $50 – the Premium Acquaintance Package: You and Danger will defuse bombs in the awesome game “Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes.” All you need is a PDF file and a cell phone or a Skype connection, and you’ll tell Danger which wires to cut. It’s rad and being in separate places actually makes it harder and even more awesome.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight and the Also-Staring Abyss.
  • $75 – the Glimmer of Hope: For this level we open our Pixelstick process to you for a custom 5-second video or gif. Want to make a grand gesture of love to plug into Facebook or one of those fancy electronic picture frames? Or a logo for your band or business? Bring it on. We will go out into the cold and make magic for you.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight and the Also-Staring Abyss.
  • $100 – the Harry and David: So we all understand that Danger is a complete dweeb with like no social skills. But the upside to that is that occasionally he gets really good at something, and recently that thing has been baking pretzels from scratch. Here we offer you pretzels, as many as we can manage, made with love in Danger’s kitchen and mailed to your door.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight and the Also-Staring Abyss. 
  • $150 - the Merry Minstrel: Pick a song and Danger will make a Thousandy acoustic arrangement just for you. He can beg you up and down not to make him do something by System of a Down, although, admittedly, sometimes such things create magic.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight and the Also-Staring Abyss and…
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope or the Harry and David.
  • $200 – the Lifetime Membership: Now we seek the things beyond the here and now. For this incredibly awesome donation, you get a  physical copy of everything we ever do, ever. We’ll send you everything we make from here until Capitol Records finally make our lives insane hyper-success dreamscapades. And! We will do everything we can to get you on whatever guest list we’re offered. Let us know you’re coming and we’ll do what we can. Our significant others can’t make it to all our shows, so their occasional disinterest is your gain. 
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight and the Also-Staring Abyss and… Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope or the Harry and David.
  • $250 – the Reason We’re All Aroused: Here’s where things get personal. You get to pick the Thousand of your choice – which should totally be Davey – and go out to play minigolf and grab some In & Out. Danger will don a bowtie and a hat and act as chauffeur and generally try to stay out of your way. This needs to happen in Los Angeles county and we beg you to not be creepy. Also, Davey will handwrite the Thousands bassline of your choice on handsome music sheets. Frame it and see if your dreams get any sexier from there on.
     Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and…
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David or the Merry Minstrel. 
Oh yeah. We get it.
Oh yeah. We get it.
  • $250 - the Sampler : We've got a bunch of fans from out of town that can't get to LA for a date with Dave, which is really the worst fate to befall anybody ever in the history of man. To make up for that, we're offering the Sampler. Includes Everything below this perk - the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder's Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry & David, the Merry Minstrel, and the Lifetime Membership. 
  • $300 – the Thirst for Knowledge: Davey will give you a 45 minute bass (or guitar, or music) lesson so that you may finally harness the lower frequencies of this universe without GOING MAD IN THE ATTEMPT TO HARNESS THE POWER OF CREATION. He's done it. Want to know how? Or just get better at bass? Do this thing. We were going to call it the 'Belloq Special' but maybe not everybody knows that reference.* *Subject to limits of creepiness and a 50 Mile radius from Los Angeles.Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and… Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David or the Merry Minstrel.
  • $400 – the Free Bird: Put Countless Thousands and Jonny’s engineering prowess to your own ends with the cover song of your choice. What’ll it be? What beautiful, non-System of a Down song deserves the Thousands treatment?
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and…
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David or the Merry Minstrel.
  • $400 – the Brave Sir Robin: Or perhaps you’d like to put something new out into the world, eh? We’ll write a song about you or whoever you want or whatever you want or whatever and any way you slice it we’ll make it rad because that is what we do.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and…
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David or the Merry Minstrel.
  • $750 – the Armory: Danger has an Epiphone AJ15E NA Acoustic Guitar that he was given instead of getting paid for a thing like five years ago. It’s been in the front room of his apartment since then and he used it to write “Only Child”, “Excellent Horse-Like Lady (USA Version)”, “Thanks for the Cockfosters” and a bunch more. That worth anything to you? We certainly hope so!
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and…
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David or the Merry Minstrel.
  • $2200 – the Cause For Concern: How much do you love “Gang Fight”? Or basically all of “We’re Just Really Excited to Be Here”? We’re offering the Satin Finish Gibson ES-335 on which Danger wrote pretty much everything he’s played for the past seven years. Snap it up and you could pay for the whole damn release yourself, you superstar.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and…
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David or the Merry Minstrel. 
Pretty sweet.
Pretty sweet.
 
  • $2800 – the Chariot: This admittedly is pretty weird, but we cleared it with the Kickstarter people. So! Danger’s car is a 2005 Pontiac Vibe with 190K miles, a check engine light that won’t go off, new(ish) tires, and registration paid through September. Every show we’ve ever played, every tour we did, everything, has been out of this car. It’s in great condition and should give you a few more years. And more to the point, the Thousands will all sign the dashboard and load it full of our favorite CDs so you also get a giant pile of new music. We should admit that nobody ever had sex in this car, and we don’t know if that helps or hurts things.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and…
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David or the Merry Minstrel.
Apparently we have no pictures of Danger's car except this one. But we're on tour!
Apparently we have no pictures of Danger's car except this one. But we're on tour!
  • $9,000 – the Restraining Order: Who even has this much money to spend on a band? Hell, hopefully you do. You’ll get the guitar that changed everything for Danger, the Duesenberg 49er. It’s flawless. Don’t get us wrong, he will need to immediately buy another of the exact same instrument, but you will get the honor of owning the guitar we used to record this EP. Oh, and Danger will get your name tattooed on his bod, bonding you to Countless Thousands for LIFE. Somebody smart said, “No fakeouts for comedy”, so let’s keep it honest. Have any other ideas of how we could make this worthwhile for you? By golly, you let us know.
    Also includes the Nibble, the Dollop, the Call to Arms, the Badge of Honor, the Loin-Girder’s Delight, the Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and…
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David or the Merry Minstrel and…
    Your choice of the Reason We’re All Aroused, the Thirst for Knowledge, the Free Bird or the Brave Sir Robin.
This image provided for you without comment.
This image provided for you without comment.
 

Boy, that’s a lot of information. Thanks for sticking with us this far. We should mention that any surplus we might hopefully hopefully hopefully earn would be going to future EPs (probable follow up? "...And Don't You Forget It"), music video permits (anywhere from $500 - $1000 a day), and other new Thousands goodies. We are admittedly quivering in our boots doing this whole thing, but as Bill Paxton says in Edge of Tomorrow, “There is no courage without fear.” Darn right. This is a big leap, but we’re confident. So thank you, really and truly – thank you, dear Enthusiast, for supporting this odd bunch of artists. We’re stoked that anybody cares at all about what we do, and the run up to this cliff has been a real nailbiter. Let’s hope these wings work out, eh?
Love,
-Danger, Jonny, Davey & Light
Countless Thousands

mmmmmwah!
mmmmmwah!

Risks and challenges

We've supported a bunch of kickstarters and not all of them actually deliver. We set up the rewards tiers to hopefully give us enough time to record the last song and get everything put together and shipped out, but who knows, we might all finally get eaten by the Sun like it has threatened lo, these many years. Either way, we have to record another song, schedule all the meetups and dates and whatnot, order the goods, and ship it all out. Who knows, maybe we'll be flooded with contributions - that very welcome circumstance would make things take longer.

Oh, and music credit on the video: http://www.bensound.com. Ironic, yeah? Well, it was royalty free and suited the tone just right, so there you go.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $5 or more About $5

    THE NIBBLE:
    Digital Download of the completed EP and one (1!) tremendous Kickstarter-Exclusive sticker. "Tremendous?" say ye. "Aye, tremendous, for it affixes to any and all!" It'll even have corners.

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    Pledge $10 or more About $10

    THE DOLLOP:
    Physical copy of the EP and a unique Thank You Card personally en-sharpied into hilarity by Danger & Jonny. We bought a pile of them from a sad old woman in the midwest, so there will likely be a cat or a bird or something genuine that we will then desecrate. It'll be rad.

    Also includes the Nibble.

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    Pledge $15 or more About $15

    THE CALL TO ARMS:
    Danger will compose an impassioned video toast to you based on your facebook profile picture. He'll likely be drinking scotch. Jonny might also play the flute or something. Results may vary.

    Also includes the Nibble and the Dollop.

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    Pledge $20 or more About $20

    THE BADGE OF HONOR:
    Light has a friend that makes fancy keychains, so we're gonna make a Kickstarter-exclusive keychain. They're made with lasers and science and they smell amazing, so every time you reach for your keys you'll feel like a badass.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, and Call to Arms.

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    Pledge $30 or more About $30

    THE LOIN-GIRDER'S DELIGHT:
    Includes your name printed right there on the damn album, ya narcissist. Game recognizes game. But more to the point, our total bros at Trash Panda want to make a Kickstarter-Exclusive Countless Thousands Shirt for all your nudity-prevention needs.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms and Badge of Honor.

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    Pledge $40 or more About $40

    THE ALSO-STARING ABYSS:
    A Kickstarter-Exclusive Poster depicting the attractive men of Countless Thousands in the prime of their lives. Will it age while we remain youthful? Will it be something you can jump into Mario 64 style? Or will it be something entirely different and unmagical? Oh, and we'll sign your copy of the CD. Danger will probably write "Don't Stop Believin'!" because he has a very limited imagination.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor and Loin-Girder's Delight.

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  7. Select this reward

    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    THE PREMIUM ACQUAINTANCE PACKAGE:
    Want to hang out all casual-like? We've got just the thing, no matter where you are in the world - Danger's new favorite game is called "Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes". Two-player game where we need to communicate each other to defuse bombs. We'll do 4 bombs together (about 20 minutes) via Skype and then shuffle off to bask in our newly expanded social spheres.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight and Also-Staring Abyss.

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    Pledge $75 or more About $75

    THE GLIMMER OF HOPE:
    Jonny and Danger will make a custom 5-second video or gif using the very same Pixelstick process that we used to make the Asskickers' Union video. It's hella time consuming so your five seconds will likely take about an hour of work. But it'll DANCE!

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight and Also-Staring Abyss.

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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    THE HARRY AND DAVID:
    Another new thing Danger won't shut the hell up about is his new stand mixer. Yeah, seriously, he asked Santa for a stand mixer. Don't know what that is? Well, you must get laid a lot! Anyways, Danger will make you delicious homemade soft pretzels. Ask the Cracked people, he's a good baker. No, there won't be weed in them. Just flour and love.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight and Also-Staring Abyss.

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  10. Select this reward

    Pledge $150 or more About $150

    THE MERRY MINSTREL:
    The reason we're all here is because Danger has an acoustic guitar, but maybe this whole time you were thinking, "meh, he should sing someone else's song". Here's your opportunity to put his meager skills to your nefarious ends with the acoustic cover song of your choice that will then be put on youtube until such time as the world explodes.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss and...
    Your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope or the Harry and David. Things are getting more complicated.

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    Pledge $200 or more About $200

    THE LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP:
    Dude. For real.
    You get a physical copy of every Countless Thousands CD or EP or Single or whatever format music takes in the distant future and we will sign each and every one of those just for you. For free, forever.

    ALSO. Any time we've got a show with a guest list and you let us know in advance that you're coming, we'll put you on there. It's like a ticket of a certain golden hue what gives you an opportunity to make your dreams come true.*

    *Subject to us never having our lives and decisions dictated by a major label, which, you know, fat chance.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, The Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel.

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    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    THE REASON WE'RE ALL AROUSED:
    You want to go out on a date with Dave. We all know this. And that scamp has agreed to forsake his devotion to his adorable girlfriend to go out for Minigolf and In & Out with whomever snaps up this opportunity of a lifetime. Danger will act as your Lyft chauffeur (his real job) and wear a hat and bowtie and otherwise try not to peacockblock you. Davey will also handwrite a music sheet with the Thousands bassline of your choice as a memento of your sizzling-hot evening together. You can also choose to golf with Danger, Jonny or Light, but jeez, why would you?*

    *Subject to limits of creepiness and also a 50-mile radius from LA.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, The Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel.

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    Reward no longer available 3 backers
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  13. Select this reward

    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    THE SAMPLER:
    A special request from some of our big out-of-the-area fans nets you every single one of the below goodies, a smorgasbord, if you will. Includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David, the Merry Minstrel and the Lifetime Membership.

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  14. Select this reward

    Pledge $300 or more About $300

    THE THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE:
    Davey knows all there is to know about music, and maybe you want to get in on some of that action without losing your mind, so here’s where things get educational. Davey will give you a 45-minute music lesson (again, somewhere in or adjacent to Los Angeles County) to help you better comprehend the goddamn ocean that is music theory and performance. It helped Danger. He didn’t even have hands before Davey came along.

    *Subject to limits of creepiness and a 50-mile radius from LA.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, The Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel.

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    Pledge $400 or more About $400

    THE FREE BIRD:
    Countless Thousands will record a full-band cover of any song you want. Just please, God, nothing by System of a Down.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, The Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel.

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    Pledge $400 or more About $400

    THE BRAVE SIR ROBIN:
    We will write a song about YOU. Yup. A brand new, custom song for you, about you, with whatever overall message you want. Or maybe it'll be a song about how awesome your girlfriend is. Or boyfriend. We’re not picky. WE WILL ABSOLUTELY AND WOULD PREFERABLY WRITE THIS FOR/ABOUT YOUR MOM. And hell, if we like it enough, we might even put it on one of our EPs.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, The Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel.

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    Pledge $750 or more About $750

    THE ARMORY:
    The acoustic guitar we mentioned earlier? The one upon which Danger wrote 'Only Child', 'Excellent Horse-Like Lady USA Version' and 'Thanks for the Cockfosters'? Yeah, it's yours now. Danger will string it with a new set of strings, include the guitar strap he's had on it for forever, sign that bad boy and ship it off to you, wherever you are, with the express understanding that we aren't responsible for the injuries you may sustain from the raw sexual energy such a guitar will provoke in the most attractive people nearest you.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, The Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel.

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    Pledge $2,200 or more About $2,200

    THE CAUSE FOR CONCERN:
    Holey moley, really? You're this invested in us? Alright, big spender, you get to claim The Guitar. His name is Raylan, he is the Gibson 335 Satin finish that Danger used to write 'Gang Fight'. He'll sign it if you want, but it's, like, really nice, so maybe you shouldn't.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, The Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel.

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    Pledge $2,800 or more About $2,800

    THE CHARIOT:
    Danger's 2005 Pontiac Vibe is named Clementine and has 190K miles and the check engine light won't go off, but she's in great condition and every tour we've ever done has been out of this car so it's basically the ultimate collector's item that you can also use to live your life. We'll all sign the dashboard and Danger will leave a giant pile of CDs in there just for you and you can drive it around and pretend you ARE Danger. Jeez, it's like you're stealing his identity... but with permission. Is there a word for that?*

    *You gotta come to Los Angeles to pick it up yourself. AS-IS, folks. But that IS is fair-to-middlin' condish, so if you're interested, just send us a message for more info.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, the Lifetime Membership and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, the Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel.

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    Pledge $9,000 or more About $9,000

    THE RESTRAINING ORDER:
    Ooof. Here's where things get cosmic. For the certifiably insane donation you're considering, Danger will give you the very guitar that he is playing now - the German-made Duesenberg 49er which is basically flawless and also the greatest guitar made by man. And furthermore, Danger will get your name tattooed somewhere discreet, make of video of it so you know it's legit, and then only afterward have a really long think about what he just did.

    Also includes the Nibble, Dollop, Call to Arms, Badge of Honor, Loin-Girder's Delight, Also-Staring Abyss, Lifetime Membership and....
    your choice of the Premium Acquaintance Package, the Glimmer of Hope, The Harry and David, or the Merry Minstrel and...
    your choice of the Reason We're All Aroused, the Thirst for Knowledge, the Free Bird or the Brave Sir Robin.

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Funding period

- (31 days)